Bad end to a bad year

So today I have just had the results to my biopsies, and have been told it’s cancer. I had already convinced myself it was but it didn’t ease the blow any. The lump that I found is 1cm and one lymph node has cells, so I have been told I’m having the whole hog…surgery to remove the lump and all of my lymph nodes, 6 lots of chemo 3 weeks apart, then radiotherapy. I’m surprisingly calm as I’m writing this, but like I said I had convinced myself and have gone through a rollercoaster ride of emotions all over xmas while waiting for my results. I’m just so worried about how my boys who are 7 and 4 are going to handle it. I split from their dad 6 months ago and am going through a very messy divorce, and this is the last thing I and they need. I’m just so scared of how I’m going to cope!

Hey. I was diagnosed in April, 2.0cm, grade 3 and had the works too. I had a 9mth old baby and a 2yr old to contend with too.

Now i aint gonna lie, it was bloody hard but my kids kept me going and made it all worth while. I wasnt allow to wallow as they pushed me through it. Now your kids are older but they will accept things at face value and will give you a reason to keep going.

Once things start they rocket along at a huge speed.

Coping wise with kids you just have to. Grab all the support you can. Rest when possible. Seek professional support if you think you are wobbling and use your breast care nurse too. Take all the drugs they offer and dont tolerate any side effects if there are good drugs to counteract them. No one survives this being a martyr!!!

Divorce wise, i cant help im afraid! hopefully if you remain on reasonable terms he will help with the children??

anyway. take care. Brace yourself and survive!

good luck
S

Hi Sweet,

Welcome to the BCC discussion forums where I’m sure you’ll get lots of support from the other users of this site.

If you feel you would like to talk to someone in confidence then the Breast Cancer Care Helpline is here for you, offering support and information. Calls to the helpline are free, lines are usually open Mon to Fri 9am - 5pm and Sat 9am - 2pm, although due to the bank holiday tomorrow they will next be open at 9am on Saturday 2nd January, Telephone 0808 800 6000

BCC produces a couple of publications which aim to help when talking to children about breast cancer and breast cancer treatment. Mummy’s Lump is designed to help young children whose mums have been diagnosed with breast cancer and the other is called Talking to Children about Breast Cancer. Both publications are free, here are the links:

breastcancercare.org.uk/search-results/*/changeTemplate/PublicationDisplay/publicationId/18/

breastcancercare.org.uk/search-results/*/changeTemplate/PublicationDisplay/publicationId/21/

Hope this is helpful.
Kind regards,
Kate, Facilitator

Just keep going Sweet and you will get there. And you will have thoughts and good wishes from all on this forum.

lots of love and hugs (((((())))))

Margaret

Thanks all for your comments and support, sitting here on the first day of a new year that is going to be so hard…I’ll be glad WHEN I see in 2011, hopefully with all my treatment behind me.

Love to you all

Jenny

Hi Sweet

So very sorry that you have had to join us. It’s completely rubbish and like you say, exactly what you don’t need.

Sendng love and every best wish.

Love

Jane x

hisweet,i am so sorry you had to join us you look so young.I have nearly finished my treatment for a grade 3 breast lump,im not goin to lie and say it was easy,but it is all doable,and the time goes really quick this site as been great keep postin it will really help take care xxxxxx

Hi Sweet

Honey you look so young and I’m so sorry you had to join us.I had lumpectory for grade 3 and lymph node removal (was in 1) in October. I’ve just had my 3rd chemo on the 29/12. I also cant deny that its hard but it is doable, as the others have said. My divorce came through the day I was diagnosed. I dont have kids but can understand it will be tough for you. As you’ve probably discovered, we all understand what it’s like on this site. Please feel free to pm me at any time, or I’ll catch up with you on the threads.

Love and hugs

Julia xx

Hi honey, I know how you feel I was diagnosed begining of dec had lump removed grade 3 and lymph on the 17th dec and feel like total shit at the moment but hey we have to be strong its the only way, iv,e had to go back twice now as an emergency as i have now been told i have seroma, it felt like a lead weight on my chest, now im back on a drain but hey life could be alot worse… keep your chin up darling, its the only way, oh i forgot to add i also live in spain and dont speak the language, so this makes it 10 times worse, everytime i see a surgeon its through bloody sign language and drawings…
take care, and mainly be strong!

Hi Sweet, I am sorry that you are having to deal with all this and deal with your divorce too. I was 39 when I got diagnosed and my daughters were 7 and 14 at the time. I had a large tumour 5.5cm and had to have chemo before they could do the operation. I just wanted to give you a bit of hope. As the ladies above say…it isn’t easy but we all got there in the end. I hope you have other family members to support you through this, if not we will hold your hand and help you as best we can. By the way I am twenty years down the line and my girls are women now…I hope you have a lot of life yet to live. Try to take just one day at a time. Much love Val X

hello sweet
so sorry you have had this terrible news, i was diagnosed beggining of april and have had lumpectomy, chemo then rads finised 1st dec, once you get your treatment plan it does go quick,my boys were 6 and 9 when i was diagnosed, i told them step by step and if they asked anything i was as honest as i could be,without scaring them, when i started chemo i got myself a wig from hospital which was very much like my own hair, i told my 6 year old that it was our secret, he replyed “so i wont tell the class at news time” bit like show and tell lol
i found that children except things better than adults, now my hair is growing back and my boys love it
you will get lots of advise from the lovely ladies on hear, i dont know what i would have done without them,so rant rave,cry and we will help the best we can
take care sweet love julie x

Hello sweet
so sorry you have to join us - I am another ‘old-timer’ and was 38 when I was diagnosed, nearly 13 years ago. My children too are now adults. Chemo is not fun, but it is doable, and like all of life, its not all darkness, there have been many lighter moments along the way.
Like the others have said, please seek and accept whatever practical help you can with the boys. I think you will want to consider your children, their personalities and what they can take on board at their ages, and you will know best what to tell them.
Do you have supportive family and friends? Also, is your ex likely to support you in getting things right for the boys, despite any previous animosity?
there are lots of us here to support you and there’s nothing you can’t ask or can’t say - every one of us has faced the situation you are in and understands the breast cancer thing - and there will be some, like rancidtart who have understanding of the divorce situation.
Be kind to yourself and focus on the main picture - getting to the other side of this. We are all with you
love, Monica

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Hi msmolly

Sorry to hijack thread but good to see you back on the forum. Love xxx

Thanks to all you very brave ladies for your comments. I had been reading on this forum while I was waiting for my results…I’m the type that likes to know everything about what I’m going to face. The fear of the unknown is often worse I think than the actual truth. Reading your stories makes me realise that there are people who are having a harder time than me…even though I haven’t actually started treatment yet so I can’t say how I’m going to cope with it. I have a very close family who I know are going to support me every step of the way, and a fantastic (fairly new) fella who has vowed that we will get through it together.
And thanks for the looking young comments, I’m actually 38 but nice compliments like that are a bonus when I’m feeling so down.

Hugs to you all

Jenny

Jenny

You look good on it! I’m 42 and wish I looked as good!

Julia xx