Bad tempered rant / Self-pity party

Went to see onc yesterday for results of latest CT scan. Pretty worried as have now had 4xEC and 4xTax since joint primary/secondary (lung mets) dx early on this year and, up to last scan 6 weeks ago, chemo doesn’t seem to be doing a lot. In last few weeks am fairly sure (as a result of scaredy poking around by myself) that lump has grown.

When I got my latest CT scan appt it was just two days earlier than the appt already arranged to see the onc. So I rang the CT bods to ask if I needed to delay onc appt to give them time to get the report done. I was told by an extremely shirty woman that it would be fine and I didn’t need to rearrange onc date. When I went for CT scan I bravely reminded them that I was seeing the onc in two days time. ‘That’s fine’ was the response.

Anyway you’ve guessed it. Got worked up into a lather for yesterday’s appt and , of course, the CT results were not yet available. Have to wait another week.

Am a vile mixture of scared, cross and miserable. Sorry to be such a total misog. I know slip ups with appts happen all the time, but wanted to whine to people who truly understand scanxiety. Please feel free to tell me to pull myself together and stop moaning.

On plus side am going to see a friend this afternoon who has just adopted two rescue kittens. If a bit of kitten therapy doesn’t sort me out I don’t know what will

HG, I’d be happy to slap you with a wet haddock if you like. Might serve two purposes, you can then cook it and give the kittens a treat.

I remember only too well the total mess the inside of my head was when I was left dangling for a week waiting for results, and I only had primaries to worry about. So as well as the wet haddock, I’m sending you a big soft fluffy hug as well.

Thanks CM, haddocky slap (and fluffy hug) gratefully received.

I’ve already bought cat treats ready for my visit. My evil plan is to make the kittens love me more than my friend who rescued them . Well you’ve got to have some fun in life.

Ah Della, sorry to hear your problems. These things do happen, but you took all the steps you could to avoid a delay. Big hug hon, let those kittens cheer you up, I am sure they will!

I suppose you have another appointment with the onc now?
Joan xx

Thanks Joan. Yes seeing onc next Wednesday and, to give him his due, he was apologetic about the situation.

V glad to hear that you and most of the rest of the March gang are nearing the end of treatment!

Off to see kittens now - hurrah

Oops duplicate post - no doubt due to kitten frenzy

Hi there,

Sorry about your experiences. Scan / result can be the most stressful time of the whole secondary experience.

However I have to say that to have report back 2 days after the scan is a bit too ambitious. What can happen is that the onc can have a look at the images on the computer and tell you what’s what. That’s what happens here anyway. A few time when I have my appt with onc, the report isn’t back, but my onc always says that he’s had a look at it and the main concerns is… Then at the next appt he will give me a copy of the report if I ask for it.

Anyway, hope you get some answers at the next appt.

M xx

Hope the kittens helped. Nothing quite like squeezing one.


Hi Historygirl,

I think you have every right to have a good old moan about a situation that you tried to avoid. I know when I had a scan and there was only 4 days before I saw my oncologist I told them the same. Then I got my self in a bit of a state; I’m normally fine until I have my scan then the worry begins. Like you the scan report wasn’t available only the imaging. Oncologist was furious and went around to see the radiologist and got them to explain my scan. I was very lucky it was an empty clinic. So I have some idea how you felt and the awful sinking feel.

I hope the kittens were a tonic - my sister got a puppy about 7 weeks ago and I do the same he’s a real little tonic bless him He’s always on springs.

Everything crossed for you for Wednesday.
Chris xx

Thanks all for the much needed slaps and sympathy. Kitten power worked it’s magic yesterday so I’m back to my normal levels of grumpiness rather than wanting to run amock in the radiography dept.

I really feel for you. They must have known it was too ambitious to get the report in time and it’s stressful enough without them cocking things up. Hope you at least get good results next week.

Glad the kitties worked for you! Will be thinking of you on Wednesday with everything crossed!

Joan xxx

I hope this bad tempered site is for anybody. I am so bad tempered tonight I’ve had to get myself rather awfully overly tipsy or else things are gonna get broken!

And OH has turned off all the lights and gone to bed leaving me and my bad temperedness down here, he’s in a better place lol

Ive never been so drunk that i feel sick-----sorry girls----at least i can still spell so i cant be so bad…

Hating everybody at the mo, my hormones are shot, my Nan is seriously ill in a hospital 3 hours away, BC stinks and I just wanna scream!!!

Hi truddle,

Hope you’re feeling a bit better this morning. Sounds like you could do with someone away from the family to talk to? If so, do give the helpline staff a ring, it’s free and they’re excellent at listening. Lines open at 9am.

Take care,

Jo, Facilitator

Truddles, there’s nothing wrong with a good, loud, therapeutic scream… If it gets rid of the anger, go for it

Hi Truddles

Hope you are feeling a bit brighter this morning! At the peak of my bad temper last week I nearly caused a road rage incident by screaming a very rude word (that rhymes with banker) at a hapless van driver for a really minor thing. Luckily he just laughed at me (which of course made me even crosser).

Sorry to hear you’ve got so much on your plate at the moment. Vent away!!

Della x

Hi Della, Yes I feel much better for the rant, and that van driver you shouted at made me laugh, I bet his woman had already vented at him that day too!!
Feel awfully hung over though, I just dont do alcohol usually, and I wont touch any for a good while now, I hate feeling like this!

Truddles, how are you now? I’ve felt cross for a few days now as I’m recovering slowly from anemia after a spell in hospital for neutropenia. Had bloods done Aug 3rd at request of onc. Two weeks later still no appetite. Hair falling out. Mass of aches and pains. Very tired. Went to gp in desperation …he called up my bloods on the system and said oh you’re anaemic. Why the **** didn’t someone look at my results before. It could have saved me a lot of angst. As it is I’m on iron tablets, have been for just over a week. Still achy and get tired easily. Grrrrrrrrr. Doc says it will be a least a fortnight before I see any real improvement. Rant over
X Sarah

Hi Della, just wondered how your results were when you saw the Onc on Wednesday? Hope everything was positive. Xxx

Truddles, you made me laugh with your bad-tempered story1 Hope this week has been better!

Cromercrab, hope you feel better soon, our poor bodies, such a lot they have to cope with!

Joan xxx

Hi Joan

Saw the onc on Weds and there’s been no change. So not good (was hoping for shrinkage) but not bad either.(at least nothing had grown) - sort of neutral news really. Am going to do another 2 x tax and then another scan. At least I wasn’t in a foul mood this time!

thanks for thinking of me. Hope everything is going well for you. Have a good weekend.

della x