Hi.
Yesterday I returned to work after a 12 month absence for my treatment. I had met with Occupational Health in February and they had recommended a phased return and I realise I am lucky to have that. However, when I went back yesterday there was nothing; no meeting with management to agree what I will do, no plan of my hours, no acknowledgement that I was back, no update on what I had missed. Surely, this is not how it is supposed to be?
What have your experiences of returning to work been and how did managers/ the organisation react to you? - looking for accounts of good, bad and indifferent treatment. Do you think that managers really know how to treat us and help us re-establish ourselves in our roles?
Helen
Hi Helen
I went back in January after 7 months and facing herceptin every 3 weeks til Oct. I am having a supported return which has been good in that I started very part time and have worked up the hours as my stamina has returned. Going back was daunting - I felt really nervous and out of the loop and like you felt I didn’t know what to do. I was initially set to clear out filing cabinets - not part of my role at all. I had met my manager prior to my return and we had agreed to take it week by week. At that initial point I wasn’t sure how I would cope with the working day so I went along with it. I was soon fed up of that!
I soon realised my managers didnt know how to handle it either so I took the reins a bit, said I was bored and wanted to get back in the saddle. They were a bit over protective. Occupational Health were helpful to me and to them. Odd people had covered bits of the job so the first 6 weeks was finding out what had happened and pulling it back. Now I am all but full time - I hit a wall about 4pm where I can only just speak so I leave about 3.45 to get chance to get home before becoming a total zombie for an hour or so!
I don’t think my managers did understand how I felt - but why should they? They have no experience of the condition and no-one in the office has been there. I have educated them and given them some of the mound of literature I seem to acquired along the way. The return has given me a chance to re-evaluate what I was doing and that can be a rare chance in a job!
Phased return is great and we are lucky to have it. I am having a half day every 3 weeks for treatment, time off for hospital visits and that has been accepted. It will go down as medical related absence and as long as it stays manageable they are fine with it. So for me, return was daunting but I am grateful to my team mates for covering me, my managers for caring and count myself lucky this was available to me.
It hope you soon find your feet and get back in harness
Kahren
Hi Helen,
I returned to work 3 weeks ago after a 7 month absence. While I was away someone else took over the desk I was using and I was assured that a new desk had been set up for me. Needless to say that didnt happen and I spent the first hour back looking for my chair and pedestal and setting up a new desk. My PC had also been taken over and I was given a laptop which I only got sorted out and fully operational this week. I returned to work when I did due to financial reasons and made the decision to return full time, again for financial reasons. For the first month or so I’m having the Wednesdays off annual leave to break myself in gently. I dont think management do know how to react to people when they return from long term sick. Initially, I felt I was being patronised by some of things I was being told, but managed to sort that out. On my first day my manager talked at me for over 5 hours, trying to condense 7 months of work and changes into that time. Not at all helpful and I havent a clue what I was told now! By day 3 I was travelling 50+ miles round trip for a meeting, so soon back to normal and so much for not ‘knocking myself out’.
I think the problem is that we are individuals and everyone is different. What may work for one individual may not work for another. The biggest problem for me was nobody asked what I wanted. Perhaps if they had asked you that meeting would have happened and you would have had a better idea of what was happening. And I wouldnt have been talked at for so long lol
Kahren, I’m also suffering a bit with tiredness at the moment but luckily I work flexi time so can use that when necessary for an early finish or late start. Ive just started on Tamoxifen so am waiting to see what the side effects of that are. There have been 2 other people in the office who have suffered with breast cancer, but as I said earlier we are all different, with both the effects of the disease and our own personalities.
I hope it isn’t too long until we are all back in the harness work-wise
Sharon
Anybody experienced really supportive treatment when they returned to work?
From our 3 experiences it looks as if managers struggle to know how best to help us back.
Helen
Hi All
I guess i am a lucky one. My employers has been really supportive . My journey started last June and I have been allowed to take as much time off as I need . I returned to work between operations , I have had 4 in total, and went back to wokr full time in January.
Each time I go back, I have a 1-2-1 with my manager for about an hour where we catch up, and then the flood gates open with everyone wanting to see me or ask me to do stuff which has not been done while I have been off ( but keeps me busy ) They dont treat me any different than if i was on leave for a few weeks.
I am set up to work from home if I need to. I am currently having chemotherapy and go in and leave as I feel i need to . I get in around 9.30 - 10.00 and leave at around 3.30, sometime 1pm if I crash. I dont go to work on my blood and oncologist days or chemo days so not on a Monday and Friday week 3.
They have been 100% totally supportive and made my house look like a florist when I first went off.
My colleagues have all been good and have allowed me to be open and honest about my treatment and illness, and it has allowed me to talk and be open when I feel tired or grumpy and even when I forgot their names or something they are brill!!
I work for a rail company not sure which companies you all work for. I have nothing but praise for how I have been treated. I think it has also allowed me to stay positive and want to work .
Best wishes
BMW07
Original post lost in the ether.
Here is the gist of it:
I am really pleased to be back at work, I enjoy my job and have proactively engaged with work myself over the last 12 months when I have felt able: been in for a presentation, met with colleagues, kept up to date with emails, updated HR on my treatment and progress. At no point in the last 12 months have either of my 2 managers initiated any contact with me (email, phone, visit, letter - not even a Christmas card).
At the beginning of March I emailed my 2 managers to request a return to work interview before Easter as all of my workload had been allocated to other staff members in my absence. They couldn’t even agree to a meeting and I heard nothing from them from 04/03. I returned to work on 04/04 as agreed not knowing if my recommended phased return had been agreed. Neither manager was available and there was no meeting arranged, no details of what I am supposed to do, no welcome back. I didn’t expect fanfares and bunting but I think a short meeting is not an unreasonable expectation. As a manager myself I know how I would have handled this situation and it is very different to this deafening silence.
I am developing nagging feeling that this is about me being a woman with a BC diagnosis - they are just too embarassed to deal with me and so are avoiding me. I know that male colleagues who have had long spells of sick leave have received phone calls, emails and even visits from these managers. Makes you think …
How have you been treated? Do you think having a BC diagnosis makes people feel so awkward they cannot face you?
Helen
long post in reply to this also lost in the ether… will try again later! Any chance of retrieving them Sam?
Hi GIJaneH
I’m afraid I don’t think there is any chance of retrieving lost posts but we are informing the technical team of all these issues so do keep reporting it.
Very best wishes
Janet
BCC Moderator
Looks like mine has disappeared too!
This is very frustrating - why is there such a problem with lost posts today?
Helen
Hi, I have just been to OH, I have also had little contact with work…except the occasional blunt letter asking me to attend OH, which I had to change as it was not convenient. I have been told that the managers dont want to contact me in case they can be accused of asking questions about return to work thus being seen as hassling me back to work…or they also may be involved in disciplinary/medical retirement etc. However I think there is a fine line between asking how you are compared to asking when you are returning to work. I have arranged to meet my manager for lunch next week at my request so thatll be interesting to see what she says.
I do think employers find it hard to know what to do. I know myself the occasional phone call or visit would have supported me more than the odd letter.
Good luck everyone with return to work issues…i cant believe its so difficult!
Mel xx
I agree Mel that it is possible to be in contact with staff who are off sick and behave in a way that is not hassling them back to work. Occasional contact, updates of what is going on, or enquiries about how I was progressing would have been fine. I think that I had made it clear that although off work I was still happy to have contact.
Years ago a friend of mine was off sick for a few months and one day her manager rang her for a chat. They talked about my friend’s health, her progress etc what was going on in the office and it was a really nice call. Then … at the end of the call the manager mentioned that it was the time of year for staff appraisals and she wondered if my friend would be able to complete the appraisals for her staff!! Not only that, but she was calling from her car just down the road and so she could drop the paperwork off straight away. So clearly, some managers don’t know where the line is.
Hoping no-one has had an experience like this.
Helen
I went back to work after 8 months in 2011. Saw occy health who said I could do a phased return, and wrote to my manager who works on a different site. He never once rang to see how I was coping, but that’s par for the course so I wasn’t surprised or disappointed. The speed they suggested was too fast, no way I could have coped with t, so I went back to occ. health and explained. They asked what I wanted to do, and agreed I could do it differently, and told my manager. It worked well and I used up accumulated annual leave taking one day a week for months. I was well supported, once I took the initiative, though my manager still never asks. I thought it was amazing to be paid full pay whilst working past time. Google the ‘spoon theory’. It’s really helpful to help pace ourselves…
Am just hoping Ill cope ok…Ive got the added issue of secondaries in my bones…its all under control and am not in pain. I am a Deputy head…have been off since July 2012. Keen to get back to take my mind of off the crazy last few months. Part of the issue in my school stems from staff who were on sick leave and were taking advantage of the school…6 months off…return for a bit and so on…this went on for many years. I know thus has impacted on my ill health. I didnt ask for this and want to go back. I have a feeling they want to retire me off…due to comments made at an informalmeeting and the OH doc mentioned theyd said that too! The doc said a phased return is what I need and the onc thought id be back full time by Sept. A head teacher friend advised me to ensure i return before the year or they can proceed with capabilities and my job would be a risk. Anyway just another battle to fight…but one really that we should be supported with!
Take care
Mel
Sorry to hear of your situation Mel. It’s hard enough going back without feeling that people want you to finish work. I have arranged a meeting with HR next week to understand where I stand i.e. your comment about 12 months off and capability issues. I have moments of wondering if the lack of support from managers is because they think I should not have returned/ don’t think I’ll last/ want me to leave. Personally, I don’t think not being given any work puts me in a strong position so I am eager to have some work formally allocated. How sad it is to feel so suspicious of other people and their motives.
Helen
I’ve got my head round my situation and am feeling much stronger. I still have chemo fatigue but that hits me after Ive been busy for a few days. So am sure a phased return will be fine. Also about to start letrozole so will be menopausal at the age of 42 and all the se that go with that. There are actually 3 of us with bc, two with secondaries…in my school. I think it is important to know where you stand…dont forget the disability act applies. I am taking my union rep with me…as he will know the legal side…I suspect my head will see that as agressive but we are both in the same union!! It’ll protect her as well as the school business manager and hr lady were saying inappropriate things at an informal meeting back in Oct. Anyway am sure all will work out. I have been fortunate that my critical insurance paid out enough to pay off my mortgage so pressure is off there a bit.
As the docs/oncs/ bcn all think Ill be able to work I shall give it a go and see. I am not giving up work unless I cant physically do it. Good luck with all those meetings with employers.
Mel
Hi Helen
You say you are meeting with HR next week. As I said earlier my managers have been good but didn’t understand totally my situation. The people who were least help were HR! They really wound me up, in fact! They were insistent that the phasing in had to happen in 6 weeks. 12 weeks later I am still not able to do the full day, although I am only 45 mins short now. The team that helped me get through HR were OH. They said that under the Equality Act 2010 the employer has a duty to offer reasonable adustments and that flexi hours was reasonable. In my line of work most professional reading happens at home anyway in the evening so they are not losing out really. HR asked if the Equality Act was applicable to my case and had to have it explained that yes Cancer is a recognised disability.
I work for a local authority which has a one-size-fits-all mentality so BC is treated the same as a broken leg as far as they are concerned. However there is soon to be a differentiation between sick leave and disability leave which will be very helpful. We have a traffic light system to monitor sickness and needless to say I am seriously stuck on red! Every supervision this has to be brought up, I have to say what I can do to help my situation (nothing!) and we agree I will ask if there can be arrangements for herceptin to be delivered at home at weekends (it cant and we all know that). I havent told them I may have another op next year with a further 6 weeks off.
A Higher Authority has decided the team I work for doesn’t fit in a Children & Families department and on 1st May I move into the SEN department. Third managent change in as many years, but this time with new managers. It will be interesting to see how much of the support has depended on having had managers who know me of old and knew I worked hard. My current manager has been very good though at minuting agreements in supervision notes - even those that HR won’t like. I really hope I am moving over with as much protection as possible.
Good luck.
Kahren
I think the support when returning to work varies a lot. I agreed to return to work sooner than my GP recommended. My first day back after a 7 month absence I was not allowed to return to my previous department instead I was left to work in the ward where my father had recently died with no introduction, no update on things that had changed, no supervision, no support and with a backlog of work. I coped (just) but it was way more stressful than it ought to have been. My manager didn’t really do anything to support me, just drew up a schedule of the hours I was expected to work and was never available when I called her so I had to sort out any problems myself.
After a month on a phased return I had 2 weeks pre-arranged holiday during which I caught flu and was very ill with complications. The day I was due back to work I was admitted to hospital. This didn’t go down well as it upset the return to work plan. I resumed the phased return as soon as I was able, again probably too soon. Unfortunately this was my third period of absence in a year and that triggered disciplinary action. They decided I was not fit to return to my post and my contract was terminated. I was persuaded to take on a different role with fewer hours (and less pay).
With hindsight I’d have been better off taking more time off on sick pay and I should have done that but I wanted to try and do the ‘right’ thing as there are too many swinging the lead where I work and absenteeism is being clamped down on. Silly me! I was treated just like them. At the time it was very upsetting and I lost all of my confidence. Anyway I am now happy in my little job with less stress and none of the pressures of the previous post. I feel I have a better balance between work, home and treatment (I have secondaries so still on Herceptin/Zometa). Financially it’s a bit of a disastert but I’d rather be working a little than not at all. Just to add I work for NHS so just one little person in a huge organisation.
So far, mostly stories of systems and people who could do better!
Weepixie, I am glad that things have turned out OK - by that I mean you now have work that generates less stress and more happiness.
Kahren, I am finding that HR has been really useful and supportive - saw my contact today and she is supporting me by badgering my managers to do their job and support me.
Had my second half day at work this morning - still no sign of a manager. Working off site this week so it will be next week before any meeting can take place. I know I should just go with the flow but actually I can’t let go of this - I am really, really angry about the way I have been treated over the last 12 months and in particulat how I have been let down by my managers. I know I deserve better.
Helen
I’m due to go back to work soon and am feeling rather anxious. My sick note runs out 24th April and my GP wants to review me and discuss phased return. Work are expecting me back start of May - although my manager won’t be there when I do start back. I’m not sure what to ask for… how long does it take before going back full time? I work in a busy stressful environment and am anxious about how long it’ll take me to get up to speed. Before BC I used to work really silly long hours (administrator) and still I struggled to get the work done and I don’t want to go back to how it used to be.
Unfortunately I cannot afford to cut my hours so will need to work full time.
When I last popped in to work my manager suggested working mornings only to start with. As I’ll need to use my holidays to make up hours not worked this may work quite well. I just wondered what was reasonable to ask for and how long before I could reasonably be back full time.
Any thoughts would be really appreciated.
Lozza x