BC is all too consuming

Hi Everyone

Sitting having dinner with hubby tonight watching TV (can you cause BC by eating off a tray on the sofa with TV vibes being thrown at you - different debate) I suddenly thought, I have had breast cancer. The last 3 years of my life have been needles, anaesthetics, operations, 2 years of injections, check-ups, pills, even more pills, even more operations etc etc. For goodness sake I told myself, my life consists of fear, stress, worrying, concern for others, where is the fun, the happy times and the very silly moments I used to have. Gone - and its down to me. I have let and allowed BC to take over my life instead of my life taking over BC. I don’t doubt for one minute that I am never going to have bad days, feeling unwell, stressed out, exhausted and all the rest of it, but these things happen to others without BC. BC isn’t the only thing in the world to worry about and if I am not careful I may end up in the Funny Farm or having a total googoo breakdown. Yes, it is a very serious disease but I am still alive and kicking so have decided to try to the best of my ability to live on a day to day basis, accept the bad days and enjoy the good ones. There is so much out there to appreciate and I really would like to feel at ease and enjoy them without this horrible nagging fear forever present in the depths of my mind.

What do you think girls, am I being over-optimistic or am I down for the Funny Farm already.

Love K

Hi Kelly,

All i can say is that i am just starting my journey, but i hope to have the same outlook as you in 3 years time :slight_smile:

Well done to you girl

Val xx

I think that you’re spot on and very sane.

You’re bang on. There’s so much more to life than BC. However, and it’s a big however, the very nature of what we go through has big effects on us, emotionally as well as physically. Now that I’m finally emerging from my sorry-for-me pit I’m at last wanting, like you, to move on and have that other life that’s been denied me. We had no choice about falling in that pit - we were thrown in - indeed I think it’s something we have to go through in order to get here. I may slip back in it from time to time, but I’ve had practice getting out and so I’ll do it faster next time.
Nothing wrong with a bit of optimism!
Sarah
XXX

I don’t think you’re being over-optimistic and if you are down for the Funny Farm I must already be there. I have a pretty serious prognosis (I have bone mets) but I love, really LOVE life! I live as much as I can (I’m only human) in the moment.
Apart from time spent with my lovely family some of the best, funniest and most life affirming days I’ve enjoyed are from when I’ve met up with some of the other ladies from the Secondaries Forum.
Go for it Kelly. You have nothing to lose.
Belinda…x

I feel the same… I spent most of the last year worrying about dying. I broke down one night and had a good chat with my husband. He pointed out that there’s no point worrying about death, it’s pretty much out of our control, so why not focus on living and enjoying all the positives in my life. Right now, I’m alive and quite well, I have a wonderful marriage, a beautiful son, a lovely house that needs decorating… I still have some wobbly days but they get fewer and further between. I still think about what’s happened but I don’t let it take over my thoughts anymore. I now look forward to the future, a very long future, and I can’t wait for the day when I see my son graduate, or get married and have his own kids. It can be a long road to get to a point where you CAN feel positive but it’s worth the struggle once you get there!

I’m with you girls… get on with life … but don’t be too hard on yourself on the odd occasion… there is so much out there and we can enjoy it…

Yes, I agree, we all have our wobbles, we would not be human if we didn’t.

Diane x

Kelly

You always start these interesting threads. I think its difficult it not to be all consuming when you are going for treatment. I was thinking last week that i KNOW when all the treatment is over, I am going to have to seek professional help in order to move on from this, otherwise I know I will let this eat awat at me. I want to be able to live my life to the full - for however long it may be.
Roll on the end of treatment - wont be till into next year tho - but bring it on

Fiona
xx

Hi Girls

I wholeheartedly agree - after the sh*t we’ve all been through, we have to learn to live life to the full afterwards - I know I intend to. Amazingly, I’ve kept my sense of humour through all this, which I know has surprised some people around me, but I have a husband and two kids to think of too, and this year hasn’t been easy for them either. Next year, we plan on having the best family holiday ever, where I plan on showing off my fantastic new boobs which I’ll have by then !! (well, not completely showing them off - they will be tucked in a bikini top - lol !).

Here’s to us girls !!!

Big hugs all round !

Julie xxx

Hi Girls

Echo all your sentiments. In three weeks time when my rads are finished, even though have Tamoxifen , I shall say to myself and others ’ I HAD breast cancer’, now I don’t. I’m under no illusions these things have a way of creeping up on you, but until then I shall try and put it to the back of my mind.
Now where are next years holiday brochures!!!

Cheers to all

Norma xx

Hi Kelly,

Thanks for your thread its cheered me up no end.
I am generally upbeat and today I ventured into our major city by bus, my first outing out since my mastectomy. Big mistake, the bumping and breaking made my already sore chest sorer (is that a word?). I then went to get some suitable bra’s from M&S but they didn’t have any suitable as they were changing stock. I then faced an even bumpier and brake mad journey home. I have just managed to get home exhausted and proper fed up with myself. I logged on and read through others experience and I remember that there is a sense of normality to be regained once I am firing on all cylinders.

Cheers all

Carol

Hi Carol

Don’t worry, you will soon get there.

Love K