I’m sure there are lots of messages like this one, but I thought I’d post a message anyway as it seems like a good place to vent my worry without unnecessarily alarming other people in my life!
I went to see my GP yesterday as my right breast has been feeling a bit tender lately. My breasts are quite naturally lumpy but recently it’s felt like there is an area of my breast which is more solid than the rest. I don’t know why, but I kind of expected the GP to say it was nothing and for me to carry on with the rest of my day as usual. Instead as soon as I mentioned slight pain in my right breast her general demeanour went from bright and breezy to serious and concerned. She asked me if I had any family history of breast cancer, and I told her my grandmother had it (she passed away from breast and lung cancer aged 68). I also remembered after my appointment that my mother’s cousin had it, although my mum and aunt are fine (at least so far). She examined my breast, and although I hadn’t actually mentioned finding any lumps she immediately found the place that I had identified myself. She said she wasn’t sure if it was a lump, or just a nodule as my breasts are quite nodular, but she would refer me to a breast clinic for screening. She would recommend all available tests. She said she thought they would want to see me “very quickly”. So as you can imagine I left the GP surgery alarmed. I also got a call from the hospital the same day (yesterday) to arrange an appointment - which also alarmed me as I figured they had prioritised me because they suspected it was cancer.
The appointment is for a week on monday. I’m not sure if I can wait that long because psychologically I’m already finding it very tough.
This year is a very big one for me as I’m getting married in three months. The wedding is abroad, everything’s already organised, many people have booked their flights and accommodation. Me and my fiance are planning our life together. I can’t imagine everything being disrupted by a breast cancer diagnosis.
More than that, I can’t imagine trying to face breast cancer if that is the diagnosis. The GP said I should try not to worry, and that most cases are benign, but I am upset that I was referred so quickly.
I tried to talk to my Mum about it, especially as my stepdad is a retired doctor, but both of them immediately dismissed it by saying if I have any pain the likelihood is that it’s not anything serious. My boyfriend is being very understanding, and saying that if it’s serious we can postpone the wedding, we’ll do whatever it takes. But I already have a lot going on in my life and I’m struggling to imagine the possibility, however unlikely, of taking breast cancer on as well.
How do people cope with this? I don’t want to mention it to friends as I don’t have a diagnosis of anything yet. But at the same time I find it hard to socialise etc as normal with this dread hanging over me.
I’m sure you’ll get lots of replies, this waiting time is horrible but try to get a bit of comfort that you are now geting on with finding out what’s happening. You are bound to feel what if this and what if that but try, if you can to have some times of the day when you don’t churn. Maybe say to your self ‘I’m not going to think about it till such and such time’ ? And try not to go too far in the future, you’ve got a lot planned, let that just sit until you know your diagnosis.
Sounds like you’ve got a good man and he’s being steady for you, you are lucky and he is right.
I think you are being fast tracked as all women with your symptoms are, and that has to be good. There will be a relief when you get a diagnosis and you will get lots of good looking after which ever way it goes.
Try to have some one with you when you go for your appontments, I can never remember what I’m told… and never hang back from asking to have something explained again ( and again).
Hope all goes well, use the forum to ask, moan, weep, winge and find comfort, be gentle with yourself and just let the big plans in the future sit at the side for the moment.
Hi Sophie,firstly your G.P doesn’t know what’s going on inside your breasts,there is no way anyone can know without further tests,they are not even sure at the breast clinic what is a harmless lump and what may need treatment until they have done ultrasound and mammogram/biopsy ,if GPs are in any doubt they refer you .If you do have breast cancer ,don’t write yourself off like I did this time last year,vast majority of women diagnosed with breast cancer will still be here in 10 years time,very good chance of a successful outcome .It is very hard for someone who has not been through this to understand Sophie,lots of support and advice here from people who can really empathise .Let us know how you get on.Jill.
Hi Sophie. I’m truly sorry you’re going through this. However just to reassure you a little once you’ve been referred guidelines say you be seen within two weeks. I remember freaking out at the speed of things. We can all empathise with what you are going through and the waiting is the very worst bit. But hold onto the fact your mum and step dad are right about the painful bit and also you’ve got some lovely things to focus on like the wedding. Let us know how you get on xx
Hi Sophie I’m afraid its so difficult to advise on how not to worry. I’m usually a really outgoing and laid back person who went really withdrawn and was so anxious!! I found a lump and ended up being referred to the breast clinic within a week so like you, was imagining the worst possible scenario. The lovely ladies on here told me the same thing you’re being told now and it does help to come on hear and voice your worries.
I had a mammogram, ultrasound and biopsies on 2 lumps including lymph node aspiration so at that point had completely convinced myself I had BC. 2 months down the line, I have just had the good news that even though I did have a lump removed, it has come back as all clear. I puzzled the consultant/radiologists for weeks as my sinister looking lump was actually a benign tumour and not breast cancer. My only advice would be to have faith in the experts and go with their advice rather than the diagnosis you’ve got in your head already (which I had in mine) Good luck and let us know how you get on. Kay xxx
Hi Sophie
My GP was also very concerned and put me through as an urgent referral. This is up to 2 weeks and my breast clinic appointment was 8 days after initial appointment. I had a visible and definite solid lump, age 38 (so relatively young as far as BC goes) and no family history so I was surprised by the urgent referral. I’ve spoken to a friend who said that the nhs have some of the best breast specialists you can get (after a poor experience paying privately and switching to nhs) I think just over a week is very good response time. I know it feels like forever while you’re waiting for it but it will come round.
I know you have the added pressure of the wedding and will be stressing about it going ahead but you are in good hands. The specialists on the conference could be discussing cutting edge new treatments or sharing amazing amounts of knowledge with each other to help you so try not to be too annoyed with them. My first consultant went on holiday so I had to see another for my biopsy results which delayed an extra 2 days and remember thinking fancy going on holiday! I immediately gave my head a wobble thinking these wonderful experts have such a stressful job and I’d much rather have a rested consultant returning from a relaxing break that a stressed out one needing a holiday!! Ha ha.
It’s a really hard time but try not to overthink it. Both my gp and consultant were both ‘deeply concerned’ and all of my initial scans and examinations came back highly suspicious but in the end my lump was benign. I know exactly how it feels to have uncertainty but try and give yourself a break from googling and searching for information you can’t find a definitive answer to at this stage. I can say this from experience, it does you no good, I promise.
Be kind to yourself in the next few days and do something you love and enjoy doing. Anything to take your mind off it.
Big hugs Kay xx
I dont think there is a way to cope. I am there tomorrow ( breast clinic ) I am freaking out, I cant sleep even though I am exhausted and if I feel this lump once more, my boob shall fall off!!!
I got my appointment the saturday before last after a trip to the GP. And now that it is tomorrow it kind of feels like it has flown over but doesnt at the same time if that makes sense.
Its like I have been on auto pilot… and I have totally convinced myself I shall be diagnosed with BC now. I already prewarned my colleagues as I left this morning that if they say it is suspicious tomorrow that the chances are I wont go in to work friday.
I am very pessimistic due to other health conditions so I feel my luck in this shall be the same…
Hope you got some sleep lb234. Good luck for today. You are completely right that you kind of walk around and function on autopilot. I only told hubby and a close friend before the breast clinic and during biopsies etc but had to tell my family when I went in for surgery. A lot of my friends said they couldn’t believe I’d managed to keep it to myself and how I’d managed to keep going as if nothing was wrong. I too had convinced myself but I think it’s self protection to prepare for the worst. Mine turned out to be benign even after grim early investigations so please try and stay positive.