Bit lost, looking for inspiration

Hi All,

I was dx Jan 08, had SNB, then 6 AC chemo and just had lumpectomy with full node clearance a few days ago. Feeling so much better than I expected physically, but when I got home from hospital yesterday, started feeling rather empty/lost and weepy emotionally. I’m guessing this is normal given I’m suddenly on my own without expert medical care around me on a daily basis?

I’m keen to give myself a kick up the b*tt and snap out of it, but worried that my recovery period will be a real drag. I worked through most of my chemo (4days/wk) and spent the rest of the time with my wee boy (two next month). So although I was low and sluggish, I had good fun and things were almost normal (well whatever that is!).

Now I can’t drive for 4 weeks, nor pick up my wee boy, things are a bit different. I’m at home alone through the week (my wee boy is in nursery FT whilst I recover) - in the country so no popping for coffee n stuff. I should see this as an opportunity to have some time to myself and do something exciting, but really don’t know what! I did lots of reading / DS lite / internet etc over last few days, but looking for ideas for the next few weeks, to save me doing nothing but housework (not my idea of fun). I will have visitors and get out for walks, but what else? Don’t want to waste my time off!!!

I see many of you have said you’re doing more to enjoy life since dx, and good on you, but what are you doing???

Any ideas - however whacky - much appreciated!! Counting on you all,

Hi Scotta,

Wet day, at home, browsing and trespassing into younger women’s forum.

Sounds to me like you’re doing pretty well with the walks and the reading and the visitors. You’re bound to feel a bit down with extra time on your hands but don’t put more pressure on yourself by thinking you have to DO all those extra things cause that’s what everyone else is doing after a cancer diagnosis. Many of them are probably doing half what you’re doing or else slobbing around doing not much at all. So easy to say mustn’t waste time after a cancer daignois…harder to achieve. Resting, listening to music are great.

Don’t know what your interests are…but I got into researching my family history on the internet when I was off work after surgery. I also did and do now (retired) lots of lunching out but that may be hard as you’re in the country.

Go gently with yourself…what would be exciting for you to get into? Writing? Painting? Bird watching? Whatever you always thought you’d like to do do it. Or slob. I’ve never done Daytime TV except for afternoon Deal No Deal! And am of on age to have Radio 4 on constantly.

best wishes


Hi Scotta and Jane

like Jane I am trespassing on young uns forum sad arent we! I do it in the hope that they are more interesting and exciting than us over 50s oops sorry Jane I am presuming forgive me if I am wrong.
Anyway I digress welcome to the forum and it wont be long before the lovely younger women come offering good tips to while away your time.
I have 2 dogs to keep me busy and then ensure I get a daily walk, not today as it is chucking it down so hubby will go alone. I have always been a cook and now find time to be more creative I also give myself little projects to do. Just finished painting summer house plus like Jane I am into Deal or no Deal!

Love Debsxxx

Oh i like this thread! On the younger side

When I was off in a similar situation I would organise little projects that i had always meant to do and then make myself rest- like taking a shelf in my sons room and sorting between clothes that he wore,clothes for charity shop, rags and those to be given to younger cousins. Its not terribly exciting but it gave me a sense of achieving this and got rid of lots of annoying little jobs. On a more fun note it was a good opportunity to reconnect with some friends who were looking after their children full time and meet during the day when ususally I had been at work.

I actually had quite a nice time in the end!

Book in some time where you make yourself go lie down and rest for a bit as well - even if you arent going to sleep,

take care

Hi A,
yeah just take this as the opportunity to surf the net, and do all those things you have been putting off.

I had a WLE on 23rd April and I was lifting my 2 year old fairly quick after it, used my “good” arm so not to strain anything but I was painting my hall in a matter of weeks.

Get friends to come to you then they can wash the dishes etc but you will still have the company.

Hope you can while away the time happily.


I’ve taken up Geocaching (see It’s a bit addictive… They are all over the place, in both cities and country. You need a basic GPS to get started (about 70 quid new but could get second hand on Ebay). My 3yo and 5yo like going hunting treasure and I find it gives me motivation to get out where I otherwise feel unenthused. Might need to watch the petrol bills if doing regularly though.


Hi Scotta

I personally made the most of my kids being at school and would have one big walk to blow away cobwebs and dark thoughts then would spend the rest of the school time chilling on the sofa either having a nap or watching my box sets of sex in the city or 24 in peace and quiet. Also had weekly lunches on a friday with girlfriends, no hubby’s and no kids allowed.
Even though I am back at work, we all enjoyed the lunches so much we have tried to keep them up, though monthly now.


hehe…i took the time to make an album about my baby girl… i put in photos and stuff in the album…

Hi A, whilst you have emotional issues surrounding your future, it’s may also be partly the anaesthetic pulling you down. It can make you quite weepy. Be kind to yourself, particularly just now. I also live in the country, but I have found the community here to be far more supportive than I feel they would have been had I still lived in town. You will feel more able as time goes by (which it will do quite quickly!) and I’m sure people in your area would love to see you for coffee/be invited up. Your house doesn’t need to be sparkling clean, people just want to see YOU!

I can fully appreciate your frustration, time off finally and the opportunity to do stuff, but unable to DO it! I hate looking at the garden, or all the fleeces I have to spin! I can’t even attend to the sheep’s feet and vaccines! I have to wait for OH to help, but he has his own priorities too! The bathroom needs decorated, as does the hall. I hate going up and down stairs and seeing all the grubby handprints every time!

Seriously, try to relax and be kind to yourself - you will find your recovery much quicker if you listen to your body
All the best
Sue xx