Woodlark - I hope you are feeling a bit better now … we all have our up and down days.
JaneRA - I am sorry if my response upset you. I didn’t mean to offend anyone. Perhaps I did not write the comment in the way that I intended to. The point I was trying to make to Woodlark was that there are people to talk to when you feel really down - this site, support groups, even her dog. We all listen and respond in the best way we can. Jane - I really feel for you and am so sorry that I may have upset you.
I am sorry, like others, to hear of your horrible situation. To have BC is awful, so is being broke and living in a crap environment and on your own, but to have all these together - no wonder you feel like jacking it all in. These “glossy” magazines that portray women who have been so ill as living a wonderful life are so far fetched, its a bit Orwelian like “1984” where we are all brainwashed into thinking life with BC can be so enlightening. I guess there is a place for this fantasy or escapism - a bit like going to the cinema, as long as you keep in context. The reality, as we all know, is so different. I am lucky to not be too financially badly off at the moment, but I have been in the situation where I didn’t know where my next meal was coming from. However, I was healthy, so very different. One day, things for you, hopefully will improve.
Christiane, I don’t think you were at all offensive in your comments. They were meant solely for Maggie and you used humour and irony to make her feel better. Personally, this approach is what helps me through the darkness, be it breast cancer or all the other crap life brings.
Cathy59 - thank you for your kind words. I was a bit upset when I felt that my comments had been misinterpreted. I had meant for my comments to help Maggie (alias ‘woodlark’) through a difficult time. They were meant to be positive.
Maggie (Woodlark) - I hope you and doggie enjoyed the porridge! My dogs love porridge!!
Chistiana - I hope you don’t feel so bad about the comment. I’m sure this was not directed at you personally but, at the risk of sticking my beak in here, I think I can understand where the reaction may have come from. Your message was full of good intent and I too appreciated the irony … you’re also a dog lover so you must be OK (I’m a biased former dog owner and miss them soooo much!!) There was just one sentence which may have inadvertently hit a raw spot.
I think (and I could be very wrong and JaneRA, please forgive me for speaking behind your back as it were!) that possibly the sentence where you said …there is a way out - there always is. A ‘positive’ way out … Although your message was for Maggie, I guess when you’re in a situation for which there is no ‘way out’, reading those words, even though meant for someone else, could provoke a negative reaction which I don’t believe was, as I say, directed at you personally, just the pure hopeless situation which can’t be fixed. Obviously, there’s no way you could have forseen this effect and this is why you shouldn’t feel bad. This forum is, after all, to express what you’re feeling (and if anyone wants to tell me to find my own business then please feel free xxxx )
Maggie what was(is) your business? I’m self employed and because I can’t spend the time I want within the business I can see it’s going to go down hill - it’s not fair and I’m fed up…
A whole year away from my business will not move it forward.
Is your (business) anything that us ladies on this site would find useful and in turn help you?
My thoughts are with you
Katie…I was a graphic artist for 26 years, then was made redundant in 2003, I applied for loads of design jobs and no-one would employ me. I was 43.
After doing many years of sh**ty jobs, I went back to college and re-trained as an antique restorer, sold my house last November to free up money for materials etc…and it was actually starting to take off around about May this year. Then I was diagnosed in June.
Ironically, last week a bloke phoned me out the blue and asked me if I wanted a job doing graphic design. I went for an interview and worked with him on Friday, Im going back in tomorrow (Monday). He knows that I start chemo on Wednesday and seems happy for me to come in and work when I feel ok.
I still have clients waiting for antique restoration, but it’s very physical work, and my wounds are still too painfull to work on a piece of furniture for hours, I will get back to it once I feel a bit fitter.
Im sorry if I offended anyone…I really didn’t mean too. Im just fed up with getting bad news. I know that there are people in a much worse place than me, It’s not just the news that I have cancer, it’s everything else seems to be crumbling at my feet.
Katie what is your business? I feel so sorry for you, it’s such a shame to put so much effort into starting a business and then being diagnosed with this crud.
Don’t apologise for letting off steam. When you are feeling low, its impossible to think that things may be worse and its always the small things that tip the balance and make you feel so bad. To you at that time, it is rock bottom. It does seem so unfair why some people keep getting all the crap thrown at them and just start to pick themselves up, when another lot gets hurled at them just to make them start all over again! Others seem to sail through life without major problems, yet moan at the slightest thing. However, it does seem a glimmer of hope if someone is willing to employ you and is happy to make allowances for treatment. It would be no bad thing to do some work both for financial reasons and to get you out of the flat. At the moment, physical work is probably not a great idea, but no reason in the future that can’t be taken up again. You are lucky to be a dog lover. I get so much solace from my dogs, I couldnt imagine life without them.
Jane RA did not in fact express despair. She just expressed the plain truth. Not something you’ll find in Vita mag. Having cancer - in spite of the impression given by that rag - doesn’t always feel like a beautiful dawn. Guaranteed to make you feel that you are reprehensibly failing to make the best of your wonderful cancer opportunity, unlike these shiny happy people. I would recommend lining your cat’s litter tray with it.
I sew and sell… going to be hard but I intend to keep going some how. I’m lucky to have some very good friends who are helping. I’ve discussed working with the Consultant and she thinks that it’s possible to work around. Depends on SE. She said that there is evidence that women that are fit before chemo, and that continue their fitness regime whilst having chemo, respond better and have less SE. I had my latest results today and was told that I will have a 4 week(to be confirmed next Tuesday)break to allow by body to get over the ops before chemo so I’m going to try.
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