Hello,
I can’t actually believe I am here. It still seems very surreal to say “I have breast Cancer!”
I don’t know why I was so surprised by my diagnosis. I have known for 3 years that I am BRC1, after my sisters ovarian cancer diagnosis. She passed away last year.
2 months ago I had my ovaries and tubes removed as a preventative measure. 2 days before my surgery I had a routine breast mri which picked up a small tumor… 8 weeks later here I am with a diagnosis for triple positive breast cancer and a major decision to make about reconstructive surgery after a bilateral mastectomy!
Meanwhile, my mum is undergoing treatment for ovarian cancer. This gene is a sh*t storm and a curse!
I can’t believe this is my life! For some reason I never believed it would get me. Even though it runs in my family, I never thought lightning could strike twice in the same place. I had subconsciously convinced myself it would skip me since it got everyone else!
Hi and welcome to the club. I’m sure you’ll find a lot of support here!
I’m also BRCA positive but I didn’t know about it up until my diagnosis. The gene has been passed down through the male line. I have a sister who is BRCA negative, so it’s just me in my family dealing with it. Being an odd one in the family is also a bizarre experience 
Fingers crossed for you 
good luck with your treatment!
I’m so sorry you find yourself in this position.
Making decisions about your treatment is really hard. I have found I have had to do my own research to fully understand my options as there’s a lot of information the treating clinicians don’t tell you.
It’s a very personal choice whether to have an immediate reconstruction. I was told I couldn’t because I need radiotherapy and my consultant advised against it because radiotherapy can damage the skin. Not a problem for me as I didn’t want it because a) it’s more surgery to recover from and b) I wanted to stay flat. I’m really glad I did - I love my new chest with its two scars like smiles. I got over the surgery really quickly and I’ve healed well. I only wear prosthetics if what I’m wearing means it’s essential to have a bustline. Otherwise I stay flat but I jazz myself up a bit more now with scarves and makeup.
I think age plays a big part in how you want to be seen. I’m 62 now. I were 20 years younger I may not have felt ready to go flat.
If you are really unsure what you want, maybe you could ask if you stay flat now can you have the reconstruction at a later stage.
I wish you all the very best with your treatment.
Xx
Thank you for replying and sharing your experience. It is comforting to know that I am not alone on this journey.
Thank you. And all the best to you as well.
Hi @tysmom and welcome to the forum. Although it’s not a group any of us want to join. So sorry to hear about your sister’s passing and that your Mum is also having cancer treatment. It’s hard enough having treatment when it’s just you and you are still getting over your recent surgery.
As you are triple positive I am assuming you will be having chemotherapy and wanted to signpost you to the monthly chemo support threads. This is the January 2025 thread but there will be one each month.
Having a HER2+ diagnosis will most probably mean slightly longer treatment plan, so I also wanted to signpost to a wonderful thread that I also belong to called HER2+ and need some buddies.
Having a BRCA gene you may also benefit from the BCN Someone Like Me and may be able to be matched with someone who also has the gene
Someone Like Me: Will match you with a trained volunteer who’s had a similar experience to you. They’ll be a phone call or email away to answer your questions, offer support, or simply listen. Call on 0800 138 6551 or contact our email volunteers
Take care 
Hi @naughty_boob,
Thank you for your supportive message and all the helpful information.
It is all so overwhelming and so I am so glad to have found this group 
SH…T storm certainly. A ghastly thing for you. But it is NOT your life. You are much bigger than the cancer and you will come through this. Keep the anger and the passion which will drive you on to a better place. Sending all the positive energy.
Hello Tysmom
I’m sad to hear about the situation you find yourself in. I’m also BRCA2. I got breast cancer in 2019 and as a man it was a shock. ( even though I knew men could get it. My mum and sister had breast cancers in the past. But the genetic testing found it was on my Fathers side.
My two sons have both tested, my eldest doesn’t have the gene my youngest son does, my siblings are much older than me, and have all chosen not to test ( even though they have adult children, grand children ) but I can’t force people.
It’s very difficult to take on board a cancer diagnosis especially if you’ve already had other surgeries to prevent other cancers. I recall two years after my initial diagnosis having my left breast removed. Then in 2023 found out the cancer had retuned / metastasised into my lungs, so I understand the upset you feel now having found you have breast-cancer. My only advise is take ownership of it, don’t stress over the why me thoughts, because it won’t change the what is issue. Find people with your diagnosis talk about your fears with others walking in your shoes, it really helps to talk….
I wish you the best going forward and try to be kind to yourself, you’ve had a big shock, now you need space to come to terms with this new chapter in your life.
Kind regards
D
@teddy271
Thank you for the reminder that this is not my life… it’s just so frustrating and sometimes hard to have a positive outlook, and this is why a supportive forum like this is so important!
Grateful to have found thus community! 🫶🏼
@PHBF64 thank you for taking the time to respond and share your story. It is humbling to hear your words know what you yourself are going through.
I wish you all the same sentiments of compassion and strength that you have sent my way.
Why me vs what is… something for me to reflect.
I was diagnosed with cancer in December 2024. I have stage 2, grade 3 triple negative breast cancer , ms and a benign brain tumour and I’m awaiting the results of my blood test to find out if I have BRCA. A scary time. My breast becomes very painful when the 2 tumours are growing. I love my little breasts and really don’t want to lose them. Especially my nipples . You are not alone.
I am so sorry to hear what you are going. It is very scary and overwhelming.
I have a friend who had the same cancer as you and has been in remission for almost 4 years now. She worries constantly about brain tumours, but otherwise lives an intentionally full life.
While I believe I have been a compassionate and supportive friend, I don’t think I fully understood her struggles until finding myself in the same situation.
Be brave and take some solace in knowing that we live in an age where there are treatments available.
Wishing you strength and grace to get through this.
All the best to you
So sorry you are here. Happy 2025, the year you will beat this. I have a T-shirt that says: Downsized and upgraded! BRCA, suck it! (I have another that says cancer took my boobs, not my sense of humour, so that is just how I deal with this 
I didn’t know I had the gene. My grandfather died at 42 of prostate cancer and my mother from pancreatic cancer at 70 (she didn’t know until 12 days before she died) and no one made the connection, until I was diagnosed with DCIS level 3 and my breast surgeon said: you are meeting the oncogeneticist! So 2024 was my cancer year: 3 surgeries (lumpectomy, followed by a sentinel node removal and removal of ovaries and FTs) last of which was a double mastectomy with reconstruction. I am 7 weeks from my last surgery. I still can’t run or lift anything heavy, but otherwise I feel fine.
All of this to say is: it sucks, but you can get ahead of the game. Hang in there!! Huge hug!!!