I have just started Radio T. after 3 fec and 3 Tax for a grade 3, 2.5cm BC. Micro mets found in 1 node after an extra test performed. (no nodes involved on 1st path). Have been reasonable well and coped with Chemo ok. 2 weeks after last Tax started to feel slightly dizzy and headaches. Thought I was getting stressed as I had booked a short break abroad with my husband. We went away although in hindsight should not have because my headaches were dreadful.
Waiting for a MRI this Friday. Not getting results till next Tuesday,
My husband, friends and family all feel this is stress and i am really feeling quite angry. I have dealt with the DX, surgery and chemo so positively and have carried everyone else through. Now I am so low and crying all the time they seem to have now labeled me as paranoid… I know how I feel physically and am so scared this is the end of the line for me… Don’t really know if i will last to hear the results and this rate… Stress would have finished me off… Come on girls pick me up longer enough to get me through to next week.
So sorry Julie - I am just starting my 3-monthly-CT-scan-fret, so I know how you feel. There is nothing (well not much) as unpleasant as the long waits we suffer in order to know what is going on with our ravaged bodies. I can’t think of anything very useful to say. You are quite entitled to feel stressed, angry and scared, and on one level I think you just have to go through these feelings in order to come out the other side. Keep in touch with everyone here and hopefully someone will have something more helpful to say than I do. I really hope your scan comes back clear. It is possible the headaches could be a side-effect from the chemo? Hope so.
Hi Julie,
Sorry to read you are suffering with these awful headaches after doing so well. I hope it is just tension.We shouldn’t carry our families through this, but we do, don’t we!
I don’t know much, your oncologist is the expert,but it seems unlikely that you have bone mets with hardly any lymph node involvement. But this horrid thing is so unpredictable,who can really say?
I’ll be praying that your MRI scan comes back clear. Meanwhile, just take each day at a time, and try not to imagine the worst…difficult I know. I have been getting sharp pains in my head recently ( have just finished chemo ), and , of course, I’ve been thinking the same as you.I’ll talk to my Onc next week.
Hope you’ve got good painkillers for the headaches?
I suggest you ring the bcc Helpline today, to talk through how you are feeling. They are wonderful, experienced ladies at the other end of the phone,and understand the emotional turmoil we often find ourselves in. Others will give you the same advice, I expect.
Maybe you could do something relaxing today, just for yourself, and don’t feel guilty. I don’t know what else to suggest, but will be thinking of you, Julie.
Others will soon read your posting and come to encourage you.
God bless,
So sorry you are in this position and really hope things come back clear so everything crossed. Your family are just looking positively or praying this way. Could the headaches not be the stress as I know we cope brilliantly when we are going through things but I also worry hope I will cope when all the treatment is over and my body relaxes. Hope someone with some similar experiences can help you but vent as much as you want
xx
Not much help, but I also went through a stage of having really bad headaches (still do now and again), and was convinced I had brain mets, but they went away and I think it is stress from treatment/scans/and day to day living with this.
My mum died of a sudden brain tumour, we knew something was wrong as she was forgetful to the xtreme, talked rubbish now and again, going back to years ago instead of todays things if you understand that, so I sort of know symptoms. But it doesnt help, and as soon as I started getting really bad headaches for about a week I was convinced it was bad.
Sorry, not really being much good here am I. Just trying to say, I know we worry about everything, but remember wot your body is going through and wot u are going through physically and mentally, and it is a strain and I think it just builds to a point and we suffer with different things. Mine was more in the summer when muggy and quite warm, and I actually felt quite ill for about 2 days.
Hopefully your scan will come back all clear and you can relax and carry on as “normal” (wot is normal for us), and stop worrying.
I forgot to say, my neck and head pain started after my second radiotherapy session. I wondered if the tension in our neck during that time lying on the rad bed, with no support for the neck, is the cause of the problem? It’s an unatural position to lie in, isn’t it? My neck felt stiff, and i commented on it to the radiologist, but they just shrugged it off. I may mention it again today. I started having a thumping headache whilst having rads that day. I do have a bit of a problem with my neck already, I must add.
Do you think anything like this may apply to you?
So sorry this is such an awful agonising time for you. Havign symptoms of something which ‘could be’ and waiting for results is just the worst thing.
Perhaps it sounds silly but sometimes I have found that imagining the worst thing prepares me for facing it if it the worst thing…and if its not, well the relief is just tremendous.
I think it shorrible when family/friends refuse to acknowledge the possibility of the ‘worst’ thing…makes you feel even more alone. I think they do this because they too are scared…its a protection mechanism.
All I can say is that Friday will come, and Tuesday will come and you will know, and whatever you will find the resources to deal with whatever the results. People do…they just do…somehow.
I am waiting to get an ‘urgent’ MRI brain scan. I had hoped to get a date this week but nothing so far which is stressing me out. I had a CT brain scan which showed some ‘activity’ hence I am getting an MRI to check it out. Apparently the docs are suspicious about spread to meninges/spinal fluid or brain tumour. Sigh.
If its any comfort I have had no headaches, the symptoms which have made the onc suspicious are persistent nausea (over a couple of months, despite being on a Xeloda break i.e. no chemo)) and loss of weight and fatigue.
I am hoping that what showed up on the CT are skin lumps. I have several quite prominent lumps on my scalp which went down when on chemo but re-appear - when things get active again. I have no idea whether this is wishful thinking!
Thank you all so much for your messages, I get so much out of your words of support as all of us on this site live with the fear from time to time.
LottieLemon - I hope you get your MRI date soon- give them a call and prompt them, I did and it turned out the request had gone missing.
JaneRA - your motto of prepare for the worst and anything else is a bonus is how i deal with things. This really get my husband down as he only deals with things when they happen.
Oh well 2 days to scan and 6 to results… another glass of wine don’t you think?? if only i think i would throw up again…
Hi Julie the headaches and dizziness could easily be a delayed side effect of the taxotere.I had really bad headaches,nausea and dizziness for quite a while[off and on for 3months]all fine now.I too translate every ailment into mets[I get bored with myself so dear knows how family and friends feel].
I was hoping someone would say they too have felt the same symptoms… Thanks that will help me get through the next few days.
If I am lucky enough to get the all clear from the scan I am going for some counselling as I cant put myself through this anguish every time I feel poorly with something that could be not related to BC…
I will keep you all posted… thanks again everyone, i dont know where I would be without you all…
Hi Julie - well I did post earlier, but it seems to have disappeared! Anyway I too had headaches, and my oncologist rushed me off to have a brain scan almost instantly. He was so concerned because my headaches were occuring first thing in the morning, which apparently can be a feature of brain mets - if it was any other time of the day apparently, he wouldn’t have been so bothered. As it turned out I think it was a combination of not drawing my curtains, and the sun streaming into my eyes in the morning and desperately needing new glasses.
When I was on taxotere and shortly after, I kept collapsing, sometimes I was able to safely get myself to the floor before I blacked out, other times not so lucky. My oncologist had no idea why this happened.
Julie I think you are dealing with this exceptionally well, you are facing up to your situation and are not in denial, it may be an idea to share these posts with your family and friends, this may well help them to understand that the way to help and support you is to acknowledge your fears not exacerbate them by making you fell you are being paranoid.
The worry of tests and waiting for results can play havoc on us all and it is quite understandable. I am due a mammogram and CT scan next week and am being kept awake at night with numerous little aches and niggly pains…I have had such pains all over the body every since diagnosis…every time (touch wood) been nothing to worry about. I have wonderful support from a Living with Cancer group at Guys…I always voice these fears and it is so reassuring to know that such fears are completely normal…we are no all paranoid - we are simply human…
HI Julie,
here to share some symptoms with you!
I developed a headache 1 hour after 1st chemo. I complained about it to everyone, largely cause I didnt know what painkillers to take etc. It continued on for weeks and weeks, never really getting any better. I kept mentioning it to BC nurse, physiotherapist, chemo nurses and registrars, my own doctor…never getting any real explanation.
I got all kinds of stupid sugggestions like “maybe it’s the weather” “maybe your turban is too tight” " maybe you need your eyes testing" All, utterly stupid.
I have at last got them to check it out and have had CT scan that had some “dodgy bits” and get an MRI tomorrow, so results sometime next week?
Strangely I have begun to worry less about it now as I have been trying everything possible to sort it myself. I hav eventually started to sleep without any pillows which seems to help a bit. The headache has been cosistently worse in the mornings and now seems to be a bit better.
To sum up…much as I thought it was too much of a coincidence for it to be stress related…I think it may be after all…it’s very worrying though.
Good luck with your results…Let is know…I will too
Gillian
Just had my MRI and I think they must have felt really sorry for me as they got a consultant to look at the scan straight away. The consultant is 99% sure there is no mets present and will have the results reconfirmed by another consultant and report back to mt ONC. The feeling being told this was imense I could not sptop crying.
Feeling completely relieved I got home to give my Husband a huge cuddle. Two minutes later he said “what is this big hump on your back?” On us looking at this I now have a hump the size of a saucer on the spine in line with my shoulders. The lump feels fluid and is not sore. “Oh God I am off again on a tangent that this is what is causing my headaches and is this more to worry about!” Any ideas Girls??? IS there any end to the worry???
Oooh Julie - the worry is never ending isnt it. Glad to hear your MRI is clear though, and hopefully the lump is just some sort of cyst/fluid lump and nothing sinister.
Sorry cant help with advise really, apart from seek some medical help from onc/bcn/doc as soon as possible, just to stop u worrying and cause more headaches and stress.
Hopefully someone else will offer better advice and information.
If you would like some additional support while you wait to get this checked out please don’t hesitate to give the BCC helpline a call. Here you can share your worries and concerns with one of the specially trained members of staff who will listen and offer you advice and understanding. The number is free phone 0808 800 6000 and the line is open Monday to Friday 9am to 5pm and Saturdays 9am to 2pm.