Hi all, my mum (aged 72) was diagnosed with breast cancer ten days ago and is booked in for a lumpectomy on 23rd August with pre-op tests this coming Wednesday.
I read in the BCC leaflet that it is a good idea to have some comfy, slightly bigger bras for when you go for surgery (even though I assume she will need to be fitted for new ones again after the surgery!). Suspect her current ones may be ill-fitting anyway as she got news ones a few years ago after losing two stone on Weightwatchers but has since put some of the weight back on!
Suggested that we should go to John Lewis tomorrow morning to get her some new ones pre-surgery and to my surprise she agreed (she’s not exactly of the La Senza generation - hates buying new things and can’t see the point in nice underwear!). Just wondered if anybody had any tips about the best bras to buy for surgery and immediately afterwards (haven’t really got a handle on how different her breast shape will be once she’s recovered from surgery). Sorry to be a pain but if you happen to read this before 10am tomorrow that’d be so helpful, thanks!
And any other tips for how I can help my lovely mum prepare herself for surgery (it’s a day op which is a blessing) and support her through it, would be enormously appreciated!
Hi ani
What a lovely caring daughter. I am nearly 70 and have 2 sons but I also have a lovely caring daughter in law The best thing to help your mum is just to be there. My daughter in law comes out with me and helps me choose clothes, she likes to keep me a bit “trendy”. I love nice lacy underwear, but I think the best Bra would be a sports bra, most people seem to recommend them. They are not cheap and they are certainly not very sexy. I could only get white and I call them my “granny bras”. Will be so glad when I can wear nice ones again, but going through this I think you need to be comfortable. Keep supporting your mum and keep posting on this site, you will find lots of lovely ladies coming on with help. I also had lumpectomy and am now on my first chemo. If I can be of any further help let me know. You can PM me if you would like to.
Val xx
Hi Ani,i agree with poodlepatch. I would get a couple of good, comfy sports bras. I had a lumpectomy & didn’t wear a bra for the 2 weeks afterwards as i felt more comfortable without. But then when i went back to work i wore my normal bra & it was so uncomfortable as the wires were cutting in & it felt too tight. I guess it was due to a bit of swelling which was still there. It bought a sports bra from Asda for about £4 to try & it’s much better, total support & no rubbing. A couple of the other ladies on here said the ones with seperate cups are good too.
I think ur doing all the right things to support ur mum, is she having node sampling done as that can leave ur arm a bit out of action for a while so she may need help when she gets home.
I found the surgery itself fine, i recovered quite quickly, all the best to ur mum & to u too x
i think it must depend on your cup size and how ‘pert’ you are. I am 65 and these big puppy ears need support. So in bed and during the day any movement they had pulled on the wounds. I wore a sports bra with seperate cups day and night.
if your mum is c cup or bigger and you have a bravissimo near you I realy recommend them. John lewis fitters are not as good because they do not have a big enough range of sizes beleive it or not.Rigby and Peller are also good but a bit more expensive (check their prices on line)
Explain to the fitter that it is for wearing after surgery rather than jogging otherwise they will fit them rock solid allowing no movement at all. Also explain you might need to allow for swelling so you need room for manouver at the back.
As to breast shape after surgery it depends, but my lump was 2 inch or so and my breast is more or less the same as it was before, just points up a bit more. So it does not make any difference to my bra size. Normally your breasts are slightly different to each other anyway.
Find out what the exercises are too and encourage her to learn them and practice them before the op. They are stretches so it is good to know how far you can reach normally and them you have something aim for after surgery. A 72 year old is not going to be able to reach as far as a 45 year old, unless your mum does yoga or something. anyway it is my belief that if you get your muscles toned before surgery then you recover better.
Have a fun shopping trip tomorrow. and carry on coming on here and askng for advice about supporting your mum.
Ha ha OAL, mine definately aren’t as pert as they were. They’re a C cup. I had 2 lumpectomies but i didn’t have any stitches, my wounds were glued together so no dressings either, that may be why i was comfortable going without a bra as there was nothing to chafe on etc. Good point about the exercises beforehand, i did those on ur advice & i do think it helped. Good luck with ur shopping tomorrow Ani. x
(apologies if I accidently reported the last comment - hit wrong button then pressed cancel…)
I was in John Lewis yesterday looking for bras (I am 6 months post surgery and sick to the back teeth of my sports bras! Clearly a vain vicar) and noticed they had a good selection of Royce post surgery bras with and without pockets as well as some sports bras.
M&S have a ‘total support’ range which the nice lady showed me, which would be good psot lumpectomy I think (I was mastectomy) and were quite attractive for the more mature lady whilst still quite firm.
Hope you have a fun shopping trip, and what lovely thing to do with and for your mum. Don’t forget the coffee and cakes bit…
M&S have some good sports bras that are cotton. You can get two for about £16. They are really comfortable. I have just had reconstruction and have to wear these 24/7. Hope all goes well.
Hi ani - for immediately after surgery and a good few weeks more I bought the post-surgery bras from Asda, which are made of cotton and are very soft and comfy. I think I paid £6 each for them. They came in big sizes too, as I needed a 38 F at least. Can really recommend them. It is not worth spending a lot until things settle down after surgery and radiotherapy as I found that throughout treatment my breasts changed constantly and I must have spent over £200 on bras. Further down the line when she is starting to recover M&S do a nice line in non-wired that do come in nice colours (change every season) and cost about £16. Good luck to your mum for the future. Marli xx
Ninja
“quite attractive for the more mature lady” - hee hee as you say “whats more mature”?
I’m nearly 70 but still quite definitely want sexy bras.
How glad I will bewhen I can ditch the horrible white “Granny” sports bras.
Hi Ninja and Poodlepatch… ‘more mature’ clearly over 90 then! That’s what the nice lady in M&S said to me and I’m in my 40’s! Maybe minister types are meant to want nun’s undies?!! A ninja or a poodle lover would never be seen in a beige passion killer!
I sent a birthday card to my Mum that said ‘growing older is inevitable, growing up is optional’. Think it’s kinda true.
Ani - now you know what kind of people we are on here - and how humour gets us through.
I think nowadays they wear the same as the rest of us (but probably boring plain stuff) since they stopped using habits but yes, I think you’re right they used to eschew (is that the right word?) the vanities of real lingerie. I expect they had voluminous blooomers though!!
Only on the bcc forums would we have such a weird yet funny conversation.
Ani, I really hope you and your Mum had a successful shopping trip and that all goes well for her. I also hope our warped hilarity did not distract you too much.
I found the M & S crop tops good to sleep in rather than a bra after my 2 Ops. I tried a bra on first night couldn’t sleep due to the clasp at the back; & didn’t have a front fastening one. During day I wore an M & S post-surgery bra which seemed to do the trick.
Crop tops were also great during radiotherapy. I’m a D cup.
As for nuns well I’ll not be able to watch Sound of Music in the same light again; I expect I’ll giggle all the way through.
Hi all, thanks so much for the brilliant advice and for giving me such a good laugh! Had a good trip today - my mum was cheerful and we took my little girl (14 months) along too which helped keep it light-hearted! The woman was really helpful at John Lewis and my mum bought one bra from there and I’m going to get her couple more from Asda I reckon now we know the correct size.
Then we went for lunch and she showed me all her paperwork from the hospital so we could talk it through and I passed her all the literature I’d got from this site, especially the exercises, and she seemed really positive and upbeat so it was great.
Thanks again to you all for your advice, support and a good laugh!
A quick diversion back to RevCat’s birthday card message - I’ve just bought one for a good friend that says, ‘Getting Older? It’s c**p - deal with it!’ - about sums up my attitude to BC!
