I don’t know if others are in a similar position or if I’m completely alone. I’m 31, full left mastectomy in December, Chemo starts on the 4th Feb. I begged and fought for an IVF cycle before chemo which instead of safeguarding my fertility, helped my to learn that I am in fact infertile.
Two seperate diagnoses in three months; cancer and infertility. I’m not sure how to keep my head above water anymore. Babies were all I’ve ever wanted in life.
I don’t know why I’m posting here, I don’t know what anyone can say or do - I guess I’m just reaching out… My boyfriend and I are looking for a counsellor, we’ll be OK, just distraught.
So sorry you have been dealt a double blow of bad news - what a traumatic time for you both. I hope counselling goes well for you and we are all here for you too. Sending you loads of love and strength to help you through it all xxx
Oh Charlie, this is so awful for you and your partner, too! If you can be lucky to be diagnosed with caner, I was timing wise at least, I’m 53 and have four daughters. You just can’t help thinking “Why doesn’t this s88t happen to some low-life nasty buggers who severely deserve some pain” Not a nice way to think, but in your lowest moment, that thought sometimes pops in there!
No wonder you’re in despair! It is going to take time to come to terms with this additional horrible diagnosis and counselling should definitely help.
Don’t give up completely; change is constant, to your body too. Maybe when chemo is over and your body re-boots, those ovaries will be working so hard to get going again, some magic will happen. I know this couple, second marriage for him and he hadn’t been able to father children with his first wife…been told he was infertile…so naturally they didn’t use contraception. They were surprised and delighted with she got pregnant, and to prove it wasn’t a fluke, they went on to have two! You never know, you hear of ladies getting pregnant where there was apparently no hope and often when they had successfully adopted. It’s like they relaxed and stopped trying and then it just happened!
Have counselling and maybe consider alternatives but also, once it is safe, don’t stop trying either. Thinking of you at this difficult time.
I’m so very sorry you have had another massive blow such a short time after your bc diagnosis, C31. You and your partner are very wise to seek counselling, and I hope you find someone suitable soon. I really hope you are getting lots of love and support from those closest to you and I know you will get all the virtual support we can possibly provide via this forum too. Keep posting, lovely. Lots of hugs, tat xxx
I am 46, going through bc like you and I *don’t* have kids. Although it wasn’t due to cancer (and I don’t want to go into the details) take it slow and give yourself time to grieve for it all. Do go for counselling, as much as you can for you and your partner. Focus on getting well but when those baby things upset you just let the waves come, they will pass. If you are on facebook you might want to ditch it if the ‘smug mum’ posts upset.