breast cancer newly diagnosed and worried

Hi.

I have been looking at the website a couple of times and now wanted to post an entry. I was diagnosed with breast cancer last week 5/7/07. It came as a real shock as it does to everyone. I am 37 and found a lump high on my left breast. After seeing a consultant, he was 95% sure that I had nothing to worry about! I have since had a mammogram, ultrasound and a biopsy from which another suspect area was found. I have found out today that the original lump is grade 2 but I am more worried whether the cancer has spread and I’m worried for my future. Until the surgery, which happens on Monday, I won’t know how bad things really are but I can’t help worrying. The consultant doesn’t yet know whether I will just need radiotherapy or chemo aswell. It’s my 10th wedding anniversay next week and I’m hoping to be out of hospital in time. I have 3 children aged 8, 6 and 2 and I am extremely worried about them. My husband is so supportive but I know he is very worried too. I feel more scared and upset now and I don’t want to die now or get this again in say 20 years time.

HI anniversary,

I am 36 years old, diagnosed a few weeks ago - I have already had my op and just started chemo. It is a shocking diagnosis, we all know what you are going through - you are not alone, hun. Of course you are scared and upset, it would be strange if you weren’t - the emotions you are feeling are totally normal. It seems easy to say, but try to take it one step at a time. You are having the op on Monday, which is good - remember this is the most important treatment there is for breast cancer, and the aim of that is to cure you of the cancer. All other treatment on top is ‘add on’.

Obviously you are upset about your children, and I’m not sure what to advise about this as I’m not a Mum myself, however I’m sure lots of Mums on here will help you with that.

Good luck with the op on Monday,
Fuschia
xxxx

Hi Fuschia

Thanks for that. It really does help having someone to chat to. I’m just really shocked at the young age of everyone. Am looking forward to getting the ball rolling on Monday and trying to stay positive. Then there’s the long wait for the results.

Thanks
Anniversary

Hiya Sweetie

We all know just how you’re feeling, it’s truly horrible. Once you get to know what treatment you’re having and when it will start, things seem to get better. I’ve nearly finished 6 months of chemo (last one in 4 weeks) and it hasn’t been as bad as I expected, nothing has to be honest, the surgery, waiting for results etc. As everyone will tell you it’s the fear of the unknown, but once everything is explained, the fear does ease a little. I have 3 boys (22, 18 and 10) and they have been fine, although we’ve never mentioned the dreaded C word to our 10yr old (he’s at that age when he thinks everyones dying), just told him I had a lump taken away and they were giving strong medicine to stop it coming back, he seemed fine with that.

We all fear for our future, but you will meet a lot of lovely ladies on here who were diagnosed 10yrs, 20yrs even longer and are still doing fine. Try not to worry too much (easy to say I know), but we’re all here for you and will ‘hold your hand’ and are always here to listen.

Sending you big hugs sweetie - you’ll be fine

Love Julie xxx

Dear Anniversary

Good luck with your op on Monday. I have my 2nd chemo tomorrow, I am having the lump shrinked first before surgery, my boobs are really small. Mine is also grade 2. It’s so scary at first but breast cancer is so much more treatable these days. Try not to worry, I know it’s hard, it is all I think about for most of the day but a positive mental attitude and lots of advice from this board has really helped me out.

As Fushia says, I am not a mum so don’t have that additional worry but there are a lot of mums on this website who will be able to reassure and advise you.

All the best
Cecelia. x

chick…its hard but dooable. Im 30 was dx grade 3 in december after a lumpectomy to remove benign lumps…oh how my body lied. Ive had my mastectomy and lymph nodes removed and just one more session of chemo to go after 6 months worth…got rads to get done, tamoxifen to take and possible herceptin but dont know results yet for that one. I have two kids 8 and 3. My youngest doesnt bat and eyelid as mummy goes to the hospital to get a plaster, we made a joke of losing my hair and getting wigs, they tried them on before i did and they chose mummys magic hair each day. My older one obviously a bit more clued up…but never mentioned the cancer word to her. Just said that mummy needed an operation cos mummy has a manky boob, then mummy will have lots of horrible medicine that will make mummy feel poorly but it WILL make mummy better in the long run. Ive talked bits and pieces through with my eldest, nothing scary but just so she understands that mummy will be ok.
My hubby is understandably worried and says he feels like a chocolate fireguard as there is nothing he can do to make me better, but my answer to that one is that everyone close to me feels like a chocolate fireguard including myself as there is nothing we can do to make it go away. Except for having all the ops, pills, potions, zappings and whatever else they throw at you.
It might come back, but then again it might not…might get hit by a bus tomorrow, a meteorite could be heading for earth and we dont know about it yet…options are endless…oh yeah you think strange bizarre thoughts when on chemo

Hi anniversary,

How are you doing? welcome to the site, it’s a very supportive, caring place and no question is too daft!

I’m Carole, 41 diagnosed in May, surgery in June, started chemo in July and I’ll need hormone treatment and Herceptin as well, the whole deal!

Yes it’s a rocky road and it’s a long haul but you will get through it. The worst part for me was the initial diagnosis and the not knowing what I was dealing with, I didn’t know the grade of tumour until after surgery, grade 3, once the treatment plan was sorted out and it had started I just got on with it, you do what you have to do to get through it and YOU WILL.

I’ve got a little girl of 2 and believe me she has been such a help, she says it how it is. This is her take on my mastectomy “Mr Harris took Mummy’s breast away, it wasn’t well” there you go. I had my 10th wedding anniversary in hospital actually but it was lovely, it didn’t matter where I was, just that I had the love of my husband and little girl. Yes I’ve had tears looking at her wondering if I’ll be around to see her grow up but that’s totally normal, you acknowledge those thoughts and then move on, you can only do your best.

I wish you all the very best for Monday Anniversary, I’ll be thinking of you. If you have any questions just ask away!

Cheers

Carole

Hi Anniversary, So sorry about your diagnosis. I was in the same position as you 3 weeks ago, and know exactly how you feel. I have had my operation and am starting chemo soon. I felt just like you do, and was so glad that I found this site, the people were so kind and supportive and really got me through, as I am sure they will you. The hardest part is the waiting, but honestly it does get easier. I found that if I wanted a good cry then I have had one, it makes you feel tons better after, just try and be kind to yourself, I found chocolate and wine works wonders!!. I was so worried about my operation but there was really no need, It was nowhere near as bad as I had imagined and I am now at home and feel fine. I hope this has helped you, and I wish you the very best for Monday. Please let us know how you get on.
Will Be Thinking Of You,
Love and Hugs
Jillianx

hi sorry youve had to join our club. but you will get loads of support on here whatever you are going through, we have all been where you are now i myself was over 1 year ago just been diognosed and scared witless ,but now all treatents are hopefully behind e ,and soon you will be doing the sae. keep asking what treatents etc you are having and take a note of the as its easy to gorget what was daid the minute you leave the consulting rooms. it is doable ,and you will coe through it and maybe you too can advise someone else who is facing what you are now. sending you loads of HHHHHHHHHHUUUUUUUUGGGGGGGGGSSSSSSSSS take care love lynn xx

Hi, sorry you find yourself here but you will get loads of wonderful support and advice.

I was diagnosed just about this time last year and know how you are feeling. It does come as a total shock as I also had no idea it was there. Your emotions will be all over the place from day to day, but it does get better when you start treatment. You feel as if you are at least moving forward.

I had a mastectomy and immediate reconstruction, chemo and rads. I have now finished my treatment and have returned to work on a phased return.

When I look back I cannot believe how fast the year went although at the time it seemed sometimes as if it was taking ages.

I also met some lovely people while in hospital and while having my treatment.

I tried to take everything one step at a time, hard I know but it does help.

You will come through it!

Love and take care
Thistle

Hi Anniversery,
Sorry you are having a difficult time.It’s normal to feel weepy after all your whole world has been turned upside down I think you will feel a lot more posative when the lump has been removed and treatment has started. - . You will get a lot of support from some terific people on this site, the BC nurses are also good and so is the helpline (I was on there every day when first diagnosed). Try not to worry too much about your children - I’ve been very open with mine and they seem to be coping well. They were upset when I first had the op as it kept leaking everywhere (make sure the hospital give you a good supply of dressings to take home with you) Also make sure the hospital give you some good strong painkillers for the first couple of nights at home (don’t mean to scare you but it’s better to have them in case you need them).
Try not to do too much - get a good stack of DVDs and some frozen dinners and hopefully all will go well. Like Thistle says you will get through it
thinking of you cheers
Caroline

Hi Anniversary,
I am so sorry you have had to join this site but believe me, you could not ask for better ‘friends’, and you don’t even leave the hourse.
I am 36 and was diagnosed BC 7th Jun. I had a lumpectomy and sentinel node removed 26th Jun. I got my results yesterday, it was grade 3 and was 15mm, it hasn’t spread and I don’t need more surgery. However, due to my age they are throwing everything at it - chemo (which I start on 31st Jul), rads and tablets.
My son is 10 and i have told him everything - even the ‘c’ word. But it is a personal thing and only you know what your children will handle. Booklets help but at the end of the day it is what makes you comfortable. My son knew all about Cancerous cells from school lessons, so I am glad I told him the truth. I also told the school so they could keep an eye on him through the day, he has been wonderful as has my husband. He was devastated as for the first time in our marriage he couldn’t help me. He gave me more support than he will ever realise and still does.
Good luck for Monday - I will be thinking of you, sending lol,
Tracy xx

PS: You will get through this, you are never on your own xx

Dear All

Thank you all so much for your kind words and advice. I only hope that I can help some way too. I went for my pre op appointment today and the ward seems nice. Just really want to get going with it now and find out what the results are. I am so pleased to have found this site and wanted to view tonight to get the updates. Your comments have helped me greatly this evening and feeling much more positive tonight. Had a “down” night last night.

Hi
I was diagnosed a few weeks ago and will have my first chemo next friday - like Fuschia mine is being zapped first as quite large 6 cm. I am 34 with 2 kids aged 5yrs and 1yr. Very very scary stuff and we know what you are feeling. These forums are great for support when you feel a little down, I have just had a real laugh reading about peoples ‘wiggy’ experiences. Keep positive, eat healthy and talk to the kids gradually about it - my 5 year old now knows I have a poorly lump but it’s gonna be zapped with special green medicine (actually I think it’s red but never mind!). She wants us to both wear pink and rainbow wigs in the house, so we will try and turn it into a fun thing where we can.
Keep coming back and keep us updated.
Hugs
Ali
x

Hi Anniversary,

just to echo what everyone else has said really, so sorry you’ve had to join us but ‘welcome’. I have found this site a great source of comfort and since I was diagnosed and I’ve no doubt you will too. We are all going through this together and so can totally relate to how each other is feeling and stuff.

I was diagnosed on March 19th (oh how I remember it well!), age 34, and like you I had my surgery first. I had a right mastectomy and total axillary clearance on Mar 29th. There was very little time to get my head round everything and prepare for the op really but I was just glad it was all happening fast and no one was hanging around. My boyfriend was with me when diagnosed and has been very much there for me ever since. He’s been awesome and I don’t think I could’ve got through it without him. I know he feels next to useless most of the time, like a chocolate fireguard, as you so eloquently put it! He got very involved from the start really and nursed me when I got out of hospital, changing my dressings and fussing over me. Bless him!!

I’m now having chemo then its onto rads, hormones and Herceptin, deep joy!!! LOL! We don’t have any children at the mo but we were planning them when bc sort of got in the way. So, I’m hoping, fingers and toes crossed, that all the chemo and everything else they’re chucking at me doesn’t completely ruin our chances for good. Only time will tell I guess!

Anyway, enough of me wittering on about my woes. I wish you all the best for your op on Monday. Be sure to get plenty of rest and ‘listen’ to your body. Take it easy when you get back home too and allow yourself to be pampered and spoilt. I struggled with this to start with as I hated having everyone running after me but I soon relented!!

Take care and please let us know how you get on,

Kelly
-x-

Anniversary - a few words of encouragement. I was diagnosed 17 years ago and am still here and enjoying life to the full. If only this forum had been around then. There is life after breast cancer and a good quality of life and as everyone says, once you have had surgery and the various treatments, it does start to get easier. GOOD LUCK on Monday and I will be thinking of you and send you a big hug.

Anniversary

Welcome to the best chat site around…I haven’t been away from this site since I found out.

I’m 39 and was dx 1st June. I had double mastectomy 4 weeks ago and 1st chemo is friday. My kids are aged 9 and 6. They have been fantastic and took the news really well it’s best being as honest with them as you can … they find out from other kids at school whose parents talk about you otherwise!!! My hubby has been brilliant and I couldn’t do this without him, he has been to all my hospital things over the past 10 weeks (since finding the lumps) and he has made me laugh again! He even had his hair cut when I had mine cut short last week. Take Care

JulieG