I am new to this site and have read some of the posts and found the support people give each other amazing.
My mother-in-law had breast cancer 2 and a half years ago and she had a mastectomy, lots of lymph nodes removed and then a strong course of chemo (CMF and epirubicin) and 6 weeks of radiotherapy. After each chemo session she suffered neutropenic sepsis (and was hospitalised) which was worse each time and in fact almost killed her the last time resulting in the last chemo session being withdrawn.
About 6 weeks ago she found a lump in her neck and was examined and had a CT scan which showed she has in fact got 2 tumours in her neck, 1 in the area of her mastectomy, 1 on her lung and a several in the bones at the top of her back/shoulder area.
We were told that she couldn’t have invasive chemo and was to have capecitabine which is a tablet because of how her body had reacted last time.
Then we found out that her creatinine clearance was only just about high enough for a 50% doseage of capecitabine. However at the same time we were also told that her platelets in her blood were only 44 and to have any form of chemo the level must be at least 100-150.
2 days ago we were told that there is nothing that can be done to help her and we are all stunned to think that this is it. Surely there must be something else?
My mother-in-law doesn’t know the full extent and has asked very few questions, but we are all extremely upset and are desperate to find out if there is anyone in a similar situation both for support and also for any avenues we can possibly explore.
Many thanks to anyone who takes the time to read this
Debi x
Hi Debi
So sorry to hear your awful dilema (((big hugs for all your family))). I can’t offer any advice about treatment as I haven’t had chemo or secondaries. I just had lumpectomy and radiotherapy.
What I can offer you though is my experience with my own mother. She had uterine cancer which was only found when it was too late to do anything but relieve her symptoms as she had widespread secondaries. After her operation, the surgeon told her that he had removed a lump but there was still a bit left which may grow again. The word cancer was never used and mum never asked what the lump was. She seemed as if she wanted to carry on life as normal as much as possible. This was her way of coping with the situation. She would have hated to see us all upset so we went along with what she wanted. She was diagnosed in December and died 4 months later in April. It was so hard for all of us times but it was right that we did what she wanted. It was her life and her death.
I suspect your mother in law is shell shocked and coming to terms with her diagnosis in her own way. Don’t forget like all of us here, she will already have had the sleepless nights wondering about the future and probably asked all the questions she wanted to the 1st time round. I would be very surprised if she doesn’t realise how bad her prognosis is.
Can I suggest that you don’t push her to do anything. If she wants to try and continue the fight then she will do. But it must be what she wants. It is dreadfully hard to watch someone die especially when you love them so much. BUT it may be harder for your mother in law to carry on fighting.
I hope you can find some form of comfort in your lives and that whatever the outcome you can all continue to enjoy the remaining time you have together.
Lots of love
Margaret
Thank you so much Margaret, it is comforting to have this wonderful support network.
We all feel so desperate at the moment and my mother-in-law sin’t the sort to give up - she is very much a family person and we so want to feel that we have tried everything for her.
Thanks again
Love to you too
Deb xx