Hi @rosab - awww that is amazing that you are happy with the results. Fantastic news.
For me it is hard looking in the mirror even 18 months down the line.
I hope the pathology results are just as fantastic. Love & hugs 
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Hi @copperycat, thanks for your thoughts. Yes Iāve toyed with the idea of going flat too and if my body shape was different I probably would but I worry about looking unfeminine.
Flat would certainly be better than trying to find pretty mastectomy bras at a reasonable price thatās for sure. 
Love & hugs
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Hi Rosab
I came across your post and it sounds like a similar situation to myself . I have opted to have a therapeutic mammoplasty which involves removing the cancer in my right breast and then a reduction on my left ( healthy one ) for symmetry . My surgery is due in the 27 th March and I am soo anxious ā¦ I was diagnosed in dec so have had a lot of time to worry ā¦ Have you had your op yet ? How did it go ? I am curreNtly a 34 GH so not sure what to expect . Would love to hear from you . Thanks
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Hi Bella
Thanks for reaching out and sorry it has taken me all day to reply but I had a hospital appt to discuss radiotherapy and medication, and then stuff that needed doing at home.
Yes, I had my surgery on 18th January so thatās 8 weeks ago today. I was also terrified and I remember uncontrollably shaking before they put me under. But it went well in the fact that I trusted the team who were absolutely lovely. After 8 weeks I can see much more clearly how the breasts will turn out (apparently radiotherapy in the cancer one can shrink it) although my surgeon told me not to judge for 6 months when they will have settled. I am actually very happy with the result so far because I always wanted smaller breasts and if I can ignore the scars - the scabs have now turned into pink scars - they are starting to look pretty good. They are not exactly even in shape and size but they are never going to be perfect and for me they are much better then having one small pert one and one large droopy one. The nipples are a bit different too, but even natural breasts are not even so I am happy that I did it. Apparently the scars will fade a lot. it took me quite a few weeks before I could look at them without feeling queasy because who wants to see how your breasts have been chopped about. but I am far more used to them now and can touch them and feel that they are mine rather than a Frankinstein botch! If you have more specific questions I am happy to answer them (I have to finish cooking supper now) and I would be happy to send a photo but not sure if thatās allowed or appropriate on this forum!
All the best
Rosa B
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Hi Rosa B
Thanks for getting back to me . Itās so reassuring to hear that your surgery went well and sounds like you made the right decision. I understand everyoneās experience is different but sounds like your recovery is going well . It must be weird to get your head round coming to terms with a different set of boobs. ! I felt squeamish looking at my breast after the biopsies but guess it all takes time. Can I ask how long you were in hospital? Did you have any drains ? How did you manage pain ? Also how much were you able to do once you get home ? Iāve bought a v shape cushion fir sleeping on as donāt imagine I will be able to sleep on my side ā¦ sorry so many questions ā¦ no rush to get back to me ā¦ thanks
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Hi Bella
I will answer your questions tomorrow because I woke up at 5am and have been nodding off in front of the telly. I had my first appointment to discuss radiotherapy and found it rather exhausting just because of all the info to take in and of course the emotional impact of talking about cancer. A lot to process. Sorry to keep you waiting as youāre anxious and want an idea of how it might be for you based on another personās experience, which does sound similar. Iām happy to answer absolutely any questions.
Night night and breathe deeply!
Rosa xx
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Hi Rosab
No rush . I appreciate how exhausting it all is . Will message soon . Take care . Hope you get some rest x
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Hi again
I didnāt like my old breasts so I donāt have a sense of loss or anything, which might be different for you. As I said, Iām getting used to the new ones and rather excited about being able to wear skimpier clothes etc than I have ever been able to. But they are far from perfect-looking, but to me itās better than the very big asymmetry I would have had. I have a numb patch on the cancer one which might not go away, but thatās okay. The nipple is a bit different but hey ho.
The hospital wanted me to go home on the evening of the surgery due to MRSA concerns. As it turned out, I was unable to pee (which sometimes happens post-surgery) even though they gave me water and did a quick ultrasound to make sure it all looked okay. By the time I could pass water it was gone 11pm so they advised me to stay in a ward as it was a very freezing night if I had wanted to leave.
When home, the pain wasnāt too bad at all - amazingly! I was sent home with lots of pain killers but in the evening I was sick and then again the next morning. As it was a Saturday I called the Breast Cancer Now helpline and was told it was probably the Dihydrocodeine, so I stopped taking that and was instantly better. Miraculously I seemed to be okay on paracetamol and not even much of that! I didnāt have drains which would have been much harder.
As for sleeping, I am able to sleep on my back because I learnde to following abdominal surgery 17 years ago (nothing to do with cancer). So that hasnāt been a problem. In terms of what I was able to do when home - hard to remember as it has been a gradual process of doing more and more so I am now almost normal although I still avoid lifting even a full kettle, just in case. I was very very careful and am incredibly lucky to have a husband who is partially retired so he could help with the simple things like pulling up a heavy duvet, filling and pouring a kettle. My sister kindly came round with frozen, healthy āCookā meals that I had chosen from their website. So I got through it although the main problem has been fatigue, but that has finally improved a lot in the last 2 weeks. Luckily my workplace has been very understanding. So thatās an idea of my experience but yours might be different. I also feel incredibly, hugely, massively lucky that when I saw the surgeon about 2 weeks after surgery I was told that the biopsy revealed that the cancer had been caught early. I was really worried about needing a mastectomy if they found more cancer, or needing chemo if it had spread to the lymph. So I wish you the incredible luck that I have had, with all my heart. Do ask me any more questions if wanted, Iām happy to answer as best I can. x
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Hi
I should add that looking after the breasts after the dressings came off has been rather stressful but they are healing well. Seeing them for the first time was very stressful but like I said, I am getting used to them and the care is easier and Iām more confident. It will change again after radiotherapy and the cancer one might look different to how it does now.
Best, Rosa x
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Thanks again Rosa for sharing your experience and so glad for you that all the cancer has gone and lymph nodes are clear . It feels like one hurdle after the next . I am trying not to think too far ahead and take one step at a time although itās hard not to go down these rabbit holes sometimes. Things definitely seem worse at night time .Im surprised that the pain was manageable as that is one of the things that scares me as well as not waking up from surgery 
ā¦ have you got a date for the radiotherapy? Do you know how many you will have ? Are you on hormone tablets too ? All going well I think the treatment plan I have is tamoxifen and radiotherapy although there is likely to be a delay due to the bad log ā¦ no rush to reply .
Thanks again your messages have been really helpful x
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Hi Bella
RE not waking up from surgery: that worried me when I had abdominal surgery 17 years ago but not this time - I think I had too much else on my mind! Rationally, anaesthetics are incredibly sophisticated now so the chances are miniscule I would have thought. But a horrible fear to have! Glad I didnāt suffer from it this time. The first surgery I wrote a little card to my son who was 5 at the time saying how much I loved him, in case anything happened to me! now he is 22 and I actually did the same thing this time, so it was on my mind, but not in a way that tortured me. If you do have kids and want to do that, I got the advise 17 years ago from a childrenās charity.
Yesterday I saw the radiologist for the first time and I have a CT scan on Monday and the radiology will start 2 or 3 weeks after that. No date yet. She said I will have 5 sessions - every day for a week - and cited 3 studies which progressively showed that one week intensive is as good as 3 weeks at a lower dose. I hope I will tolerate it okay, who knows.
I was told Tamoxifen and that I will start it after the radiotherapy but then the radiologist said yesterday that I need to speak to the other hospital (one was for the surgery and the other for the radiotherapy as they are in the same trust) about whether another one would be better for me, so I am trying to set up that conversation now.
I wish you lots and lots of luck with your surgery and recovery. Donāt hesitate to reach out to me again if it might be helpful.
Rosa x
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Hi Rosa
Thanks again . I have 2 boys ( 16 and 13 year old) and it breaks my heart to think I couldnāt be there for them . They are also the very reason I have to find the courage to get through this ā¦ I will be in touch next week or the week after if thatās ok when Iām really going to be pooping myself !! Good to hear things are moving with the radiotherapy. I think you will manage that no bother ā¦ just remember and be kind to yourself and rest as I believe it csn be quite tiring . X
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Hi Bella
Do get back to me if you think it might be helpful. If not before the surgery then let me know how you are getting on afterwards if/when you are in the mood. Last night I remembered the two little boxes that were attached to my breasts with wires when I left hospital which made moving around more annoying because I had to pick them up all the time or put them in pockets. You might want to ask the hospital if you will have those. I donāt know the name for them or really what they were for as it was in the middle of the most overwhelming part of the process. I know they said it was to aid the healing. I donāt want to make you more anxious by telling you this but just to prepare you because it came as a surprise to me and made me feel more like a weird medicalised body for a while. Annoying but not painful in the slightest. x
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Hi Rosa
Thanks I Will do ā¦ the things you were referring to were probably drains to help drain off the fluid from the wound site ā¦ I was told I might have one but not sure some people seem to get them and others not ā¦ thanks for letting me know . I will be in touch and appreciate your support. Xx
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Hi, they werenāt drains, just giving you a heads up that you might be given them. Take good care xx
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This has been so useful, thank you ! What was recovery like , how long before you were up and about and driving ?
Hello, I was trying to think of the answer to your question and to be honest I canāt remember! the whole recovery from surgery was rather a blur. I found that for quite a while I needed to lie down both in the morning and the afternoon, when I sometimes slept. I did the exercises āreligiouslyā. Sorry to not be of more help but I think recovery is very personal anyway so one personās āIām fineā will be very different for someone else. Good luck!
Thank you for replying . Iām just having chemo and itās really knocked me mentally , Iām trying to focus on the next part the operation but hoping for some sort of normality, whatever that is now while I recover before radiotherapy. My timings are that I should just be recovering over the summer holidays and I really want my boys to just have there mum back . And not the mum that feels constantly poorly and sad .
Iām so sorry to hear that. It sounds so so hard. I donāt know how old your boys are obviously but it makes me wonder if they are getting any support - either within the family or even better from people outside - mental health practitioner/counsellor/therapist which might make you feel less bad about them (unless thatās putting it too strongly) . I think that sometimes the cancer charities like Maggieās might provide support at no cost for the families of the person going through the treatment. And of course the same goes for you, I hope you have people to talk to and sometimes one really caring special professional person who you are not linked to personally (not a family member or friend) who you donāt have to worry about sparing from the depths you are feeling, because they have experience of supporting people in a similar situation, might help. I donāt know, just a thought. xx