Hi - I was diagnosed yesterday 7th jan…can’t get my head round it…feel like I’m going mad…spoke to a lovely lady on the helpline just - tried to ring the breast nurse and she’s obviously up to her eyes so remembered the helpline…just felt scared on my own - how daft’s that? Hubby had only gone for 20mins but I needed to hear a voice…
Hi kittenkat
Can’t see your msg luvy!!! Will keep a look out to see if it shows later
Thinkng of you
Kay xx
Hi there Kittenkat
Welcome, sorry you’ve had to join us but i know you don’t have to feel alone,your not going mad,its just a terrible shock to the system…
Its good to chat away on here,you will meet some amazing people and have heaps of support.
If you want to laugh,cry or rant feel free to get it off your chest by talking to others on this thread,you will soon feel less isolated…i know i do
((((hugs))))
Take care
Shell.
Hi kittenkat!
So sorry to read your message. It sounds like a cliche, but everyone will tell you that once you get started on treatment - chemo, surgery, radiotherapy whatever you are going to need - you will feel much better and you will feel more in control. Lots of people will come on here and be very supportive, as they always are, and one day you will be “one of the old hands” giving out advice to others. Just take one day at a time and I’m sure you will find all the threads on here very useful and helpful. Very best wishes to you.
hi Kittenkat
so sorry about your diagnosis - it’s such a hard time - I remember it clearly and remember thinking I hope nobody ever has to deal with this on their own - you need people around you to support you and wrap you up in cotton wool while you are feeling so delicate. I had my family and friends do this for me and it really helped. I also asked my GP to prescribe me something to help me relax and calm down and that really helped too and made things that little bit more bearable. I remember sometimes just thinking that I couldn’t bear it all and didn’t know what to do with myself. I did find talking to people helped and if you can talk to people then I think you’ll find it helps a little. Like the others have said, once you know your treatment plan and things get started, you’ll feel much better about things and will just want to get on with it.
Thinking of you and sending you hugs
Ruby xxxx
Hi KittenKat,
It is a terrible shock to find out you have breast cancer !
You will need time to come to terms with it all ( and you will ) with the treatments and so on you will get through it !
I havn’t known that long end of November and I have just had my second chemo yesterday.
me & shellyface are on the thread newly diagnosed hairloss join us we are all a good bunch !
Love Caron x
Hi Kittenkat
Sorry that we have to meet here, but you will find that it is a very friendly and supportive place, just don’t read too far ahead or you’ll end up worrying yourself about things you may never have to deal with. I’m only a little way ahead of you - diagnosed on 17th December and just recovering from surgery on 22nd Dec to remove my lump and the lymph nodes in my armpit. I get the results of that surgery next Wednesday. It is a HUGE shock to be told you have breast cancer. I was all over the place, very tearful and panicky. My GP also prescribed me some very low dose diazepam just to take the edge off whilst I waited for the surgery and it did help.
It’s true that you will come down from the ceiling once you feel that something is being done for you. I felt a bit better once I’d had my surgery so I knew that most, if not all of it was removed. I’m now winding myself up into a frenzy over the results of my surgery, but that’s another story!
You know what, though - there’s lots of us here who have been diagnosed in the last few weeks and we are all just beginning this journey. We’ll do it together, one step at a time, celebrating each other’s good times and propping each other up if it gets a bit grim. We’ll all get through it. If the idea of positive visualisation is your cup of tea come and join us on the Bury St Edmunds thread - we’ve got a whole Wild West gunslinging battle theme going. Well, it’s better than fretting!
By the way, I can understand not wanting to be on your own. I haven’t been on my own since I was diagnosed, just by sheer luck my husband has extended time off work this time of year so he’s been here pretty much the whole time bar the odd trip to the shops. He goes back to work on Monday and I’m dreading it - I’m still off work and the children are back at school. I feel very needy and dependent so I can understand how you feel.
love
Gennie xx
Hi Kittenkat
Welcome to the forums, you may find BCC’s resource pack helpful, it has been designed for those newly diagnosed. If you would like a copy just follow the link below to order a copy:
breastcancercare.org.uk//content.php?page_id=7514
Best wishes
Lucy
Hi Kittenkat
Every good thought is going out to you. Every last one of us here has been exactly where you are, some of us only a few days or weeks ago. We know how bad you’re feeling. It is the most awful time, but it does become bearable. Gennie’s right, one step at a time. In my first few days (16th Dec for diagnosis to surgery Christmas Eve), I didn’t know how I could ever cope with where my mind was going. It helped me when I realised that every single dark thought I was having was totally normal, there’s no way I could not have them. So I let the thoughts in, acknowledged their existence, then gently ushered them out the door again. Of course, they’re persistent little devils, and I just kept (and keep) pushing them aside.
You’re not alone Kittenkat. If hubby is away, or you just don’t know that anybody else will understand, we’ll be here if you want us, every step of the way.
Carole
Omg - thankyou all soooo much - I lurked on the forum before the breast clinic appt and decided to post when I knew what was going on - you’re all so lovely and supportive…I’m just re-reading your posts and I’ll post tomorrow - off to try and sleep tonight - have a little help from the doctor so hope it works. I think I’m doing ok and then I take 5 steps back and feel worse than ever, try to be strong but its nigh on impossible sometimes, but it can only get better…night night xx and thankyou xx I’ll catch you all tomorrow xx
Hi Kittencat,
Its a tough time for you, so take all the help you are given and then some. I found my lump exactly 2 years ago today, so just thought I would add my best wishes and support. I can’t say it gets easier, but it does change from the time of original diagnosis, and dealing with treatment makes you feel like you are at least attacking the enemy. I had mastectomy, so lost my boob, lost my hair and lost the plot! But, 2 years on, my hair is thick and curly, whereas it was always dead straight before so that and an early menopause are 2 positive things to come out of a stinker of a time!
I have found the forum incerdibly helpful, even though I have not always been brave enough to post.
All the best for now
Jax
Sleep well Kittenkat. Take it at your own speed and don’t be scared to be scared. I’m going to be cheeky and quote one of my new friends’ quotes from another thread.
“Courage is being scared to death - but saddling up anyway.” John Wayne
Sounds like you saddled up and rode well, Jax! 
You are so right Carole, trouble is we have no alternative but to sit out the ride, even if it is a bucking bronco! The thoughts never stop, and it is only when you hear of other people going through the same thing that make you realise how ‘normal’ morbid thoughts are. You just can’t always voice them to friends and family. It can be a very lonely place in your head, so it’s great we have somewhere to share it. How did people cope pre-internet, I wonder? I guess they just had support groups, which must have been quite limiting, not very often, and you might not always like your local bunch!!
It is great to be in contact with you all.
With thanks and best wishes
Jax
Hi, just wanted to say hello and to wish you well. I can so remember those feelings just after diagnosis, believe me it does get easier or maybe you just get stronger and more determined to deal with it. I was diagnosed late Nov, had mastectomy on Dec 16th and now waiting for date to start chemo. I can only say that there is so much support on this site, it has helped me get this far.
Hope you do manage to sleep tonight and tomorrow is a bit easier, is your husband at home with you tomorrow? There is so much to think & talk about.
Best wishes
Muv
Hi
Just wanted to add my support along with everyone else. Of all people, we on this site really do know what you are going through. I have a very supportive family but sometimes it is really good to be able to get on this site and let rip. There will always be someone there for you. Sometimes I find family are just too close - you can’t voice your darkest fears because they just want you to be positive and cope. Here we all have dark moments and understand.
Come back anytime and ask
Sending you Love and Hugs
Andie xx
thankyou all so much! I had a sleeping tablet last night - well half of one - went to bed feeling really knack**ed and very anxious/shaky after holding it together for the kids etc and was out flat within 20mins so hubby said! Slept till 4 and woke feeling relieved that I’d slept…had this idea that I was going to make myself and “it” worse by being so tense. So much goes through your head doesn’t it - all positive one minute and then back down the next with the what-ifs. Had letter for pre-op assessment on tues 20th and op as day case on wed 28th - lumpectomy & node sampling…Gennie - how old are your kids? Mine are 10 and nearly 16 and went back to school monday - you’ll be better after you have the first day over with at home…
Just wanted to offer a few words of comfort and encouragement for all you newly diagnosed. I was diagnosed about this time last year and thought the bottom had dropped out of my world. I remember so well the feelings you are all describing, unable to eat, sleep etc. I had WLE and node sampling, further WLE and clearance, chemo and radiotherapy, finally finished treatment in November and now on Tamoxifen. I am back at work and feeling well. I would just say to you all take things one step at a time and deal with each part of your treatment as it happens, I found nothing was as bad as it was with my runaway imagination. I was terrified of everything and particularly frightened at the thought of chemo. I did have the usual side effects, hair loss, nasty taste, fatigue etc, but a bit like childbirth, when you stop having it you soon forget!! Keep your chins up ladies, you can and will get through this.
Love Jules
Thanks Jules! It’s great to hear, and you are so right about the runaway imagination.
Glad you slept last night Kittenkat. Your dates are great, nice and fast. Same process I went through, diagnosis, pre-op, surgery for WLE (wide local incision or lumpectomy to you and me) with nodes. You should get your surgery results about two weeks after the op. I found it couldn’t all have been easier or everybody nicer, which definitely helps when you feel like your feet are on earth and the rest of you is circling somewhere around Mars!
Hi Kittencat, nothing i can add really to the messages above me, except to underline the fact that you are most definately not alone in this.I think your reactions, fears and feelings are entirely normal and things will definately get better with time.I was petrified when i had my diagnosis in September and by the time of my surgery in November, i was much calmer about the whole thing.The aim is to get rid of the beasties lurking within your body and it’s ok to feel scared…and it’s good to acknowledge those feelings too, don’t bottle them up.If i needed to cry…if i still need to cry, i just do it (couldn’t stop it anyway!) and if i need to talk, well, if there is no-one at home, or i feel they can’t help with what’s bothering me, then i come here and there is always someone with a good listening ear and an answer to my question.So, welcome, though it’s a shame you had to join us…I hope all goes well for you over the next few months.Good luck x
thankyou all so much - god its so awful to rely or feel reassured by others peoples problems but so good to know you’re not alone. I seem to be ok during the day till about 4ish then I get restless and anxious and the imagination tries to cut in…have spoken to some good friends today too. I took half a pill tosleep thurs, full one last night but don’t want to take any tonight in case I get used to them so will try without…thinking of you all and of the other women that were left at the end of the clinic on wed when it was obvious it was all bad news for us.
I cried when talking to one good friend who went thru all this last year with another friend - she took her for her first chemo and the nurse said “is this your first chem?” fiend said yes, I have breast cancer - the nurse took her hand and said No…you HAD breast cancer, we removed it and this treatment is to make sure of that…or something along those lines - I was flowing by then and prob got half of it muddled but that was the gist of it…xx