Can someone give it to me staright?

Can someone give it to me staright?

Can someone give it to me staright? I am so confused!

I am not sure what my mums diagnosis is…

Mum had both breasts affected, both with 2 tumours. 1 side grade1&3 and the other Grade 2&3 with one lymph node affected(on the side of the 2&3) tumour.

Sounds like some of you are mega clued up! Is that good/Bad? Starts Chemo Thursday which has bought it home to me it really is cancer!

In reading other posts & people seem to know what exactly their diagnosis means and I don’t know about her and if she knows she’s not told me(not sure she’d keep stuff from me as it’d upset me).

I know we all say it but am so scared about the future - Was told the other day think of the now that you can control but just can’t helping worrying. She’s my mummy and I want her forever!

Any light you can shed or questions I should ask would be great!


The good bit is that although there are nasty tumours there’s only one lymph node affected. The ops remove tumours and affected lymph nodes. The chemo kills ca cells that have got around the system.
Yes, we are all mega clued up and no, no one has the answers about br ca.
There are no guarantees with breast cancer but the survival figures improve every year. My Macmillan Nurse tells me that it is now regarded more as a chronic illness [that is pts may have to return for treatment from time to time]. In the bad old days it was like being condemned to be shot at dawn.
Do not worry about the prognosis. Some of us do better and others worse than our statistical outlook. It’ s a lucky dip with lots of prizes. See your Mum looks after herself, eats plenty of good fresh food, rests and try to keep her happy.
When it comes to chemo there are quite a lot of supplements etc to help get through it. Post again when the time comes.
Best wishes to you and your Mum, dilly

Sorry I missed that it looks as if your Mum is having chemo before or without ops- please post. If chemo without or before surgery it’s to shrink tumours as well as eliminating ca cells.
Also do post about what sort of chemo your Mum’s having. Ladies on this site must have experience of all sorts between them.
Vitamin B6 and B12 plusa slow release high dose of Vit C are recommended for all chemos. Make sure your Mum has a big pot of supermarket live yoghurt in her fridge and takes it over 3 days every time her mouth gets even a little bit sore. It deals with thrush at both ends.
Other ladies will tell you what’s helped them. Best wishes, dilly

Chemo post-op (bilateral mastectomy) - on her profile.

Ilovemymum needs to find out whether the cancer was oestrogen-driven, or if it’s hormone positive or negative.

Thank you Hiya,

Mum’s had her bilateral matectomy 6 weeks ago (seems like ages ago now).

It was Hormone driven so will have ‘tablets’ after chemo which she said is FEC?!?.(Having dilema over cold cap but thats another story!)

I’ll buy VitB & yogurt tonight - Got her Vit C before and has been taking been taking but her Horrendous oncologists poo poo’d this as a waste of money (My money i’ll waste it was my attitude!!)

Thank you ladies so much - I can officially say this site is my saviour, lifeline and addiction at the moment and appreciate all the time everyone takes to give replies and heartens me theat people still do care and support others still.

Thank you!

I’m sure that there are great oncs out there somewhere but all of mine have been of the do nothing sit on hands variety tho current model is best yet.
Trouble is that they’re in a gloomy biz - no glam and not sexy- so suspect that apart from the oncs who go in for it with a sense of mission [having watched a loved one’s sad end] it’s the bottom of the heap medics who get there because there’s no competition.
So don’t let the it’s a waste of time, not worth trying, only 1% effective and don’t knows which they dole out blight you and continue, as you are, doing all the things which could help your Mum through her chemo. Good thing she’s got a daughter like you with her Job’s comforter in the consultant’s chair.
Rest, good diet of fresh food and keeping your Mum’s spirits up during the saggy bits of chemo will all help her a lot.
Best of luck to both of you, dilly

Obtain pathology report Hi - I would respectfully suggest you ask your Mum to get a copy of her pathology report - this would be done after she had her mastectomies. It will detail all the pertinent information about your Mum’s particular cancer. My bc surgeon gave me mine, after I asked, and he went himself and photocopied it for me. I didn’t have to pay, although I understand some hospitals charge a nominal fee. It was only by deciphering the info I found out I not only had an invasive tumour but DCIS (comedo and cribriform). Nobody thought to tell me that.

At first reading, it looks like a foreign language, but you can either google individual terms, or come back here to ask questions - there is always someone here who has the answers to path reports. However, we don’t have the answers to all bc questions, particularly prognosis, but neither, in my opinion, do the Oncologists. I have found my bc surgeon, a very shy man in his late 50’s, to be the most forthcoming of all the doctors I have seen, and will answer questions honestly, and in a language I can understand.

I had a lot of problems with my first Onc, a very patronising and arrogant guy, who had me in tears both times I saw him.On my 3rd visit to the chemo dept I asked the receptionist in the Oncology suite if I could see another Oncologist, anyone but him, and there was no fuss in changing. They didn’t even asky why I wanted to change - perhaps the guy had a reputation as being difficult, so there was no need to ask me why. I got a lovely young female GP who worked there only one morning a week, but I was lucky that it was my “day” for chemo. She saw me through a very difficult time, as I also have Crohn’s, and this caused major problems.

Your Mum has an absolute right to be treated by a doctor she feels comfortable with, and if you feel her treatment will be coped with better under the care of a different Oncologist, I would suggest you try and get another one.
Hope everything goes okay.

Oh - cold cap - I had FEC chemo too, and was offered the cold cap, but was told it didn’t work for everyone. It did for me - my hair thinned a lot on top, but no-one noticed it but me. It was weird though in that my hair stopped growing (so saved me quite a bit of money not having to have it cut) and after chemo finished and it started growing again, it grew very curly - wonderful, just “wash and go”.
Take care.

Supplements It’s always worth checking with the Oncologist re. supplements. The idea of chemo is to knock out the immune system so it can work on the cancer cells so with some chemo’s it’s not a good idea to over boost the immune system as you would be working against the chemo.

I was also advised not to eat live yoghurt, unpasturised cheese and anything made with raw egg. Again I’d check what the hospital recommend for your Mum and her specific treatment.

Love Twinkle xoxo

Lizzie’s absolutely right- I did same as her and got a MUCH better and nicer onc.
Some oncologists recommend probiotics [live yoghurt, Yakult etc] Mine was happy with LY and Kefir. Onc opinions vary!
Standardised supermarket brands have to be safe stuff. I used Onken- cheap and worked for me-from most supermarkets. It’s the Lactobacillus bacteria in it which keeps the Candida yeasts under control thus preventing thrush mouth ulcer miz.
If your new onc is anti these things Lactobacillus pills can be bought from health food shops and online. I would expect them to be less reliable than the real thing and a LOT more expensive!
A poster wrote her onc recommended Alpha Lipoic Acid [super liver cleaner] and another who works in a nursing unit said all the gals in there used it for nausea and to start it BEFORE chemo [it cleared up my month long N after failing Morphine big time] for buying online. If nausea is bad phone chemo unit for better [and more expensive] meds.
Lots of us got through chemo without the horrors described by those who had really bad reactions and hope your Mum will be one of our happy band, best wishes, dilly

Hi - It is really hard as I was like you I wanted all the answers about mums cancer now… Eventually we had lots of letters and reports to tell us about it all.

I wish your mum well for today - let us know how she got on with her 1st FEC.
My mum has 6 FEC she tried cold cap but lost her hair after the 2nd one anyway but we had a fantastic wig we had already bought and she got quite used to it.
It is a worrying time as your mum may feel quite ill - my mum got bit worse each time but she was never sick and she still had good days.
You will be amazed at how quickly it goes… She was mainly tired and slept for 20 hours some days.

Buy your mum lots of nice bits of food or drink she fancies - my mum fancied jelly tots so I bought bags of them!

Thinking of you and wishing your mum all the best for today.
Sarah xx

Supplements We would always advise that you discuss taking any supplements or complementary medicines with your oncologist as some may interact with the prescription medications that you are taking.

Kind regards
Forum Host
Breast Cancer Care

Hi ilovemymum

There are many factors that determine a person’s prognosis.

In the USA they use the staging system which indicates how long the tumour has likely been there and how far it has spread. This has fallen out of fashion in the UK although it can still be found on many websites. If you Google ‘breast cancer stages’ you will be able to flag up info on the staging system.

It gets a bit complicated but, basically, it looks at size of tumour (or tumours), number of lymph nodes involved, if any, and whether it has spread outwith the breast and surrounding tissue. You are then given a stage from I to IV. The lower the stage the better, although other factors such as the grade (how aggressive the cancer is), hormone status, HER2 status, etc, etc are equally important. As your mum had more than one tumour I think they look at the largest tumour and highest grade.

Remember, though, that these are only guidelines as no two cancers are the same. It has been said that breast cancer is not a single disease but a collection of diseases with common characteristics. As a previous poster said, women bely statistics all the time and those with an initial poor outlook often go on to live for a very long time with no recurrence.

Personally I think it is best to stay well clear of anything that attempts to predict progosis or survival - it just gives you nightmares! I’m a mummy, too, but my little girl is only 20 months old and I plan on babysitting her children!

Keep doing what you’re doing. Just love your mum and be there for her - that’s all you can do. And if you spend money on something that turns out to be useless, so what? It’s an act of love and it will mean the world to your mum.


Lola x