what are the pros and cons of having cancer ? I know that sounds odd but we all know the cons i.e sickness ,hairloss , [death at the extreme } etc…But my pros are, strength i never knew i had it in me …
Humour the baldness brought it out…
Patience to sit in that chair to receive my chemo…
emotions I felt them all…I could go on and on …But most of all its having a second chancee at life and making sure everything counts and i appreciate things more especially family …
No pros for me sorry
Why no pros Horace ?
I can appreciate the points dynamite has given but sometimes feel so down at not being able to do things I would like and I would really wish for my OH and 2 girls to get on better.
Liz xx
Yes the cons definitely outweigh anything positive about having cancer but would have to agree a pro for me was finding out just how strong a person I actually am Before whenever i read about someone having cancer, going through chemotherapy etc, i used to shiver and think to myself i could never go through that… so got diagnosed at age thirty one and guess what found out alot about myself that i never knew of course in an ideal world breast cancer would never have encroached upon my life but it did we are all the same i would imagine ! I find I am a different person to whom i was before, used to get so wound up over nothing, stressing about trivialities, now I dont so much. Something I would say I have definitely gained since my cancer diagnosis is the meeting of some amazing people with cancer who i would never have had the opportunity of meeting otherwise - wished we had met in different circumstances albeit, but hey we didnt and i am a great believer in everything happens for a reason x
I agree with horace.
To suggest there are any pros to having cancer is like suggesting there are ‘pros’ to wars, famine, abductions, murder tsunamis etc
Dreadful things may often bring out people’s strengths but that is not to say that the dreadful thing was something good in disguise.
Meeting amazing people cause you’ve had cancer doesn’t count as a pro for cancer in my book.
Jane
I don’t think that anyone would argue that there is a good side to cancer; or that it was a good thing in the end because of what we may have experienced. NO one would choose to go through this voluntarily.
However, there are differences in our lives which occurred because we were in this horrible place. Going through life in the usual manner, those things would not have been learned. For instance, I have found out which people in my life were truly caring about me vs. those who I thought were best of friends. Was it cancer? No, cancer is an inanimate thing. It was the turn in my circumstances which brought out the best in women who I thought were peripheral friends!!! And it was the circumstance which defined how shallow those other friendships were. Either way, it was their reaction to my bc that made the difference. It is just the way people are – they can only take so much and deal with it.
my two cents…
Emily
xxx
Definitely, absolutely no pros for me. I liked myself, my friends, my family, my life and all the decisions I’ve ever made for good or bad and i still do but I hate cancer with a vengeance.
Trish
EmilyJane,
i totally agree with you on finding out who my friends/people who care are, even within the family. i thought i was close to one sis-in-law but she turned her back on me as soon as i was dx and the one i wasn’t too close to has given alot of support but i don’t consider that as a pro, there is no pros in having cancer.
Interesting thread. Its a difficult one isn’t it.
Cancer is not good and therfore I don’t think there is a pro for having it, but having said that I think I know what you mean dynamite, because out of it can come good.
I think a lot is to do with our reactions to it which in turn can affect those around us.
And so out of it can come patience, compassion, care, appreciation , etc. but equally I supppose can come resentment bitterness self pity etc.
I think that a ‘softer side’ is being developed in me (might have to ask others tho)
Off to physio now but thanks for a thread thats making us think.
Magsi x
I think it depends on your prognosis. For example, if you know you have an excellent chance of survival, you can look at having cancer as another piece of rubbish that life hurled at you and reflect afterwards on how you managed to get through. It isn’t the disease thats the pro - could never be, but the reactions to the disease/crisis etc - the people who have shown true friendship, the support, the inner strength etc etc. On the other hand, if the prognosis is poor, then I agree that there can be no pros whatsoever.
Oh for goodness sake!
No pros…
I’m on the same wave length as dynamite. I’ve learned a lot about me in the last six months.
Cancer happened the same way as I ended up on blood pressure pills or when I fractured my arm - by accident. Yes it’s a rubbish thing to happen but so were the others. I am no pollyanna but I can’t dwell on the cons because it would drive me potty - yes i get fed up with being tired, some of the side effects and the sheer length of time of treatment but this is only a short part of my life overall. Whether or not i have cancer it is up to me to make my life worth living and to live it well and properly (I mean things like looking after my kids and living honourably), it was like that before cancer and nothing changes that.
I want to heave every time I see headlines like brave Kylie battles cancer… I am not a victim, I am not battling, I am not brave. I happen to have cancer and i am having treatment, I certainly don’t want anybody’s pity. I’m just getting on with my life.
That said - everyone is entitled to their views - i don’t expect everyone to agree with me and i do try to respect other people’s opinions.
Jennifer
No pros here either … cancer has robbed me of my life. I hate it.
Jan
Definitely no pros!
Marilyn
I think we all try to find some positiveness out of crap situations so I don’t see it in any other way than if anything else bad that happened to me apart from this disease will rob me off my life this year leaving behind 3 children under 11.
When you see the way people pull together in the face of diversity eg earthquakes, bomb explosions, train crashes, divorce, suicide then you always tend to find out who your true friends are family are and I don’t see having cancer is any different in this respect and the same would have been true if I’d been caught up in any disaster scenario.
I can see no pros of having cancer and what I have discovered about myself i’m sure I knew anyway and if there has been any new bits of me that I’ve discovered I’m sure in the future I would have discovered them anyway.
Having cancer even when you are a long term survivor - yuck hate that word but can’t think of any alternative - means that things you take for granted like getting life insurance, travel insurance and mortgage etc makes it much more difficult and expensive and the treatment path you have to travel to get to that point the side effects, physically, emotionally and financially means again I can see no pros in having canver.
When we see cancer as a pro, I think all we are doing is trying to protect ourselves emotionally which is normal and expected as it is human nature to want to try to make the best out of a bad situation. I try to make sense of it sometimes in my mind like this but in the end can see no positives for me or any of the women I have met either in real life or in cyber world.
I know many of you don’t agree and hope I’ve not offended anybody but the question was set!!!
All the best
Kate
Am I glad I have had cancer? Of course not. Do the pros outweigh the cons? Of course not.
BUT are there any pros at all? Yes.
As others have said, I have found out who my true friends are, not just the fair weather ones.
I think I have become more compassionate towards other people who have problems.
I have learnt that it is OK to offer help to someone who you don’t know really well but is going through a hard time, and not pass by on the other side out of embarrassment/not knowing what to say.
I have learnt to seize the moment, rather than waiting till some indefinite point in the future when I ‘will have time’.
I have learnt to appreciate the little things in life - an unexpected smile from someone, a sunny day, the lights that change to green when you are in a hurry.
I could go on, but you get my drift.
I’m with the ladies who suggest no pros…
Cancer has ruined my life, ruined my families life and robbed so many people i know of thier life - many young people! I can not think of any pro’s of having cancer…
Jakki
x
I just want to add another two penneth:
Thank you Kate for your wise post. Like you I feel there are things that I’ve learnt about myself about having cancer but I do believe I could and would have learned them about myself had cancer not reared its ugly head. Like many of you have said …yes, I’ve learned who my true friends are BUT I’m NOT goingto give cancer that power or benefit over me. I view cancer like any other adversity I have had to face in my life. I need to gather information, checkout my options and make my decisions based on facts and not unrealistic hopes. Then and only then can I hope to live my life to the best of my ability,to do justice to those I love and those who love me . My onc said to me at the initial diagnosis that many people treat this as a wake up call to do things in their lives that they previously wouldn’t have considered. My thinking about this statement was and still is that I did’nt need cancer to ‘wake me up’. i was happy with my life, have always lived it to the full and so I continue to find no positives whatsoever. I do realise we are all different and I applaud all you people who do find something positive but I can’t and more importantly don’t intend to.
My very best wishes to all who find cancer positive and my very very best wishes to those who don’t.
good morning.
perhaps that is the key, then. The level of awareness and capability with which you were living prior to BC may affect the way one deals with BC and its repercussions.
if one was coasting along, living 50% of ones life before BC, then perhaps the BC shakes you out of the complacency into a more proactive mode? there is another thread or discussion regarding the difference between hope and positiveness. is that what we are really discussing here?
not sure but thought I would toss that into the mix.
Emily
xxx
I see both points of view. I have a cancer which I know has a good outlook but it doesnt stop me feeling terrified now and again that it may not stay that way. This fear has completely changed my perspective on the world, my beliefs, my values and most of all my priorities. Yes, it has taken something life threatening to do this and for those of you who had good quality lives before BC, you clearly dont need something to give you the push in life, the metaphoric smack in the face. However, I must have been one of those living life with my eyes half closed, never really challenging anything in the hope that time alone would improve the quality. Cancer has bluntly spelled out that I am not immortal and I do have choices.