Help! My Mum lost her battle with BC in Feb 2006. I was diagnosed aged 39 the week after, had lumpectomy, chemo and rad. My hubby is in the military and was/is away a lot including a whole year in Iraq - came back in Jan 2009. Since then my Dad was diagnosed with terminal cancer and passed away this summer. I have had to stay strong as I have had to bring up my now 13 year old son by myself mostly. Just as I thought things couldn’t get worse my Hubby wants a divorce! Very unexpected - nobody else, just feels we have grown apart! Anyone got any advice?
You poor thing - you have obviously been to hell and back. I can’t really offer you advice , only support. There are plenty of people on this site who will also give you support. Maybe - take one day at a time. Think about yourself and your son. Make use of your friends -to talk to, and do things that you and your son want to do.
Good luck. I will be thinking about you.
Liz
Hi,
First of all sending lots of hugs your way. I can honestly say I do not know what to suggest but the only thing that pops into my head is ask if he will go to relate with you?
Sending happy thoughts your way, sorry I couldn’t help more.
Em x
Thanks, your words give me strength.
Hello EC, I’m sorry you’re going through this, and for the loss of your parents. I’ve PMd you.
Take care
Katie x x x
Hi EC
It sounds like you are going through a really tough time at the moment. As well as the support you receive from the other users of this site you may find it helpful to give the BCC helpline a call. Here you can share your worries and concerns with one of our trained members of staff who will offer you a listening ear as well as support and information if required. The number to call is 0808 800 600 and the lines are open Monday to Friday 9am to 5pm and Saturday 9am to 2pm.
I hope this is helpful.
Kind regards
Sam (BCC Facilitator)
hi EC so sorry to hear that, im am sending you a big squishy hug.
take care hun
Carol xx
Hi EC
What a terrible time you are having. There is so much going in your life and in your husband’s lives at the moment. As someone else has suggested do you think that your husband might go to Relate with you? Is it possible that with everything he’s been through in the army that he feels he can’t offer any emotional support to you so it’s easier to say you’ve grown apart than face things? I’m not excusing the behaviour but the timing makes me wonder.
The other thing you might want to consider is talking to the Cancer Counselling Trust - they give you 9 telephone counselling sessions and ask for a donation. Don’t know but it might help to have an outlet somewhere other than friends and family.
cancercounselling.org.uk/
I’d like to send you a very big hug and wish you well.
Elinda xx
HiEC maybe try getting him to go to marriage councelling with you its worth a try.I dont know why but being diagnosed seem to make some men change.I have always had a rocky marriage but the day before I started my rads my hubby did not like the way I had answered him,so he hit me across the face and sent me flying in the kitchen.As my head was all over the place I stayed put and waited 8 weeks for an apology but things have never been the same since. We are in the process of selling the house and are each going to go into flats as I told him I could not live with him anymore.Very sad after 28 years of marriage but I had a fright when I was diagnosed and feel I want to live life to the full now, not wait on the next "slap"because I never know if it will happen again. Try to get things sorted if you can.Hugs and hope things work out for you. Joyce xx
Hi EC,
Apart from the other suggestions, you may beable to get some support from the Army Welfare Service? Or try contacting the Families Officer, he/she may beable to offer some help and support too.
All the best, hope you get some support, theres only so much you can take on by yourself,
Kathryn