Nov 19, I found a lump I went to one stop shop, at breast clinic. consultation mammogram, ultrasound biopsy. The lump was 22mm, but could not be seen, 12 o’clock just above nipple. So had ultra sound biopsy and clip…
Forward a month, 22mm grade 3, 0 lymph. Mastectomy, 5 years tamoxifen.
mammogram October 20, like I trust them. Jan 20, consultation over the phone, have you any lumps and bumps. no! See you next year…
ive had a complete wobbly stop tablets for a month and drinking 3 bottles of wine and half bottle of gin, last weekend…
just worried it will come back… predict is survival not recurrence rate. I am a advanced nurse practitioner, so I know what I would tell patients.
Hi lovely, you are having a bit of a wobble, aren’t you? Not unexpected, of course, as this is a bloody awful disease. You are not the first who’s lump hasn’t shown on a mammogram, as you probably know, they aren’t infallible. How great you have a one - stop breast clinic.
I think you need to reach out for a bit of professional help , perhaps ring in here to speak to one of the nurses. They do a super job. My go to option was my local Maggies Centre in Newcastle, which is still operating via telephone and zoom. My cancer spread, and I have mets in my lungs so, unlike you, I am still in the loop. Hopefully you will get more posts from people in your position as you have reached out on the correct thread. I wonder if you should contact your GP and look at taking some prescription meds? Got to be cheaper than wine! Another thought I had was that, being a nurse, you’ve seen it all…probably know too much , tbh! Damn Covid, too. What you need is a great big hug. Maggies and Macmillan run courses, normally, about dealing with life after the disease. Lots of women feel really abandoned after treatment and being discharged . Why not look to the future and see if you can book into/ onto something like that? Sending a big virtual hug, and wishing I could do more. Ann
Hi ginge26 - I have just seen your post and really sorry to read how you feeling. You are a nurse practitioner and much more medically qualified than I am to advise on recurrence, so I’m not going to even try to discuss your diagnosis and statistics. Instead, I’m going to ask if there is someone you could speak to locally about how you are feeling. Does your hospital have a support centre, such as Maggie’s? Or you might want to start by calling the lovely nurses on this site - number at the top right of the page, and they might be able to talk things through or refer you to other support.
I had counselling after my treatment as I just couldn’t work out how to manage my anxiety, so I do understand how you are feeling.
Again, I don’t like to advise someone who is medically qualified, but you might want to discuss taking Tamoxifen with your team or at least your BCN.
Sending you a hug and happy to chat more if it helps at all. Evie xx
Our stories are very similar. I too was finally diagnosed November 19 after finding a lump, following a routine ‘clear’ mammogram just a matter of weeks earlier - 18mm, grade 2, just below the nipple. The tumour showed up readily on the pre-surgery mammogram so it wasn’t one of those pesky ones that are hard to spot. Ultrasound suggested no lymph node involvement but this proved not to be the case. Diagnostic failures like these do little to inspire confidence. Like you I had a mastectomy, followed two months later by full axillary clearance.
Your Annual follow-up sounds uncannily similar, and just as cursory, to mine. The lack of aftercare, particularly in the time of Covid, is depressing to say the least. It sounds as though you could have done with far more attention and the positive reassurance of a proper face to face consultation and physical exam. Couldn’t we all? I am so sorry that you have lost your equilibrium and been so painfully derailed.
The idea of you stopping your tablets alarms me far more than your prodigious weekend bender! (I’m secretly quite impressed…) You seem to have suffered a bit of a crisis of faith in the whole system and during your spectacular wobbly have thrown all your toys out of the pram in a self-destructive binge. I do hope that you find the wherewithal to gather them back up again. It is difficult to not be concerned about the possibility of a recurrence ( after all it’s virtually impossible to be simultaneously carefree and sensibly vigilant) but you could be spending a priceless period of good health worrying about something that may never happen. I try to take all statistics with a substantial pinch of salt. They’re talking about somebody else, not me.
I do hope that you manage to reset your positivity and resolve and find a way to ground yourself, change your negative thinking and take full advantage of the good times afforded by your successful treatment. I wish you good luck in abundance.
I am also a nurse and I definitely understand that maybe we have seen a lot and know too much. I also echo what has been said about Maggies and speaking to the nurses of this sites contact line. I approached Maggies last week because I recognised I needed more help with moving on than my family could offer me. They love me but they don’t want to consider that it may come back, they want to go down the path of treatment is done and we move on. I also want to do that but I don’t want to be looking over my shoulder all the time I want to be able to enjoy treatment free life so I need to learn how to manage my anxiety and fear, I know it will never go away but it has to be managed.
Talking has definitely got to be cheaper than wine x
Another thought I had was that, being a nurse, you’ve seen it all…probably know too much , tbh! Damn Covid, too. What you need is a great big hug. Maggies and Macmillan run courses, normally, about dealing with life after the disease. Lots of women feel really abandoned after treatment and being discharged . Why not look to the future and see if you can book into/ onto something like that? Sending a big virtual hug, and wishing I could do more. Ann