So here I am, posting to the ‘newly diagnosed with breast cancer’ area which feels quite surreal and imagining there a quite a few people reading this who know what that feels like.
Diagnosed with DCIS and invasive in left breast with node involvement 3 days ago after routine, coming-up-to-50 scan, recall, biopsies etc. Have staging next Friday.
Will be having a mastectomy and axillary clearance early July at the hospital where I work as a nurse. Looks strange to have typed that.
I’m worried that I seem totally unconcerned about all of this. I have a fab supportive husband, 2 kids (11&13), a great bunch of friends and family. I’m being relentlessly cheerful and positive and for the most part feel like that. I’ve always had big boobs (34G) and have been thinking how good it will be to have my right one reduced to match my left!
I suppose the jist of this post is - how am I supposed to react? I know there’s no right or wrong way. I just think I have shocked my friends and family by being positive, making jokes about wigs and stick on nipples etc and talking about the opportunity to finally get smaller breasts on the NHS.
Yourright there is no right or wrong way to feel and we all deal with it differently. I’m amidst tooandwirk in breast screening and see all sorts of reactions from people wailing to complete stunned silence to very pragmatic to laughing and making jokes. Don’t feel you have to act a certain way. Just go with the flow. Also don’t let them. Bombard you with science just cos your a nurse. Sometimes you’ll find docs treat you like your a nurse instead of a patient so sometimes need reminding.
Gosh I could have just written that. I am going in for my WLE and SNB in a couple of weeks and in the meantime feel as if I am in cloud cuckoo land. Laugh and joke with everyone, planning my next gig in August etc.
The only way I know that there must be a small corner of my brain that is less than 100% sure that it is all going to be fine is the time I spend on this site asking silly questions, answering other posts etc.
But that is in cyberspace, and cyberspace is not real is it, so i am allowed to be a bit concerned there.
I think everyone reacts differently, there is no right way to feel or act, just whatever comes naturally to you.
So welcome to the site–ramble away, everyone is very supportive. And you never know, one night in the wee small hours you might have a low spot and want to come here for a cyber cuddle
Hi, when I read your post I thought that was me in jan this year. Like you it was my first mammogram, recalled two days later to be told that they didnt like what they saw. 10 days later I was have snb & WLE, there was no node involment thank god but was a grade 3, so had to have chemo & rads. Im now just 10 days away from my last chemo. It was been hard at times but Ive done what the doctors have told me is best for me. All along I have made jokes about my situation, only a couple of times have I broken down, & even now I still cant beleive this has happened to me. Everyone reacts differently, I found that I didnt wont to know too much about my cancer, as it was gone now, & I cant change what it was, so no use worrying about that, plenty more to keep me worrying:). I hope you get the best possible results & wish you all the very best.
Yup, with you there. It just doesn’t feel real, does it? I had one or two melt-downs on my own, but other than that it really didn’t hit me, and much of the time I breeze along as if all’s fine and dandy - and actually all IS fine and dandy!
I’m glad you’ve found this site. If, like the rest of us, you need to let off steam, this is a great place to do it. Ask anything you like, THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS A SILLY QUESTION (OAL, take note! )so wander round and meet people who are in the same boat, pulling on the same oars and coming up against the same icebergs.
Yes, I want a word with whoever’s putting those ruddy icebergs in the way…and these ship’s biscuits are stale, too!
Hi from me too. I tend to be overly positive most of the time. Keeps me going. Not today, though - having a notverybraveatall moment. Either is absolutely fine on this site, I’ve found.
Sorry you have joined this ever growing club!
I became a member in Dec last year after 1st mamo and recall like yourself. In addition when the surgeon said how did I feel about reducing the other side rather than trying to have WLE side made put back to where it was I was ecstatic as I’d always been a BIG girl (32H). I felt like , OK had some shitty news (grade 3) but looking on here it was all do-able (chemo etc) AND I got a boob reduction, which I’d already discussed with my GP.
I’ve now done Chemo (FEC) and have Rads to come, my Rads tattooing is happening on Tuesday and will start them shortly after that ( 3weeks + 1 week Boosts). Then have hormone treatment for next 5 years.
Main thing is to accept help when offered so you don’t have to do as much as you do currently. I’m single mum with 14 & 17 yr olds and it took a while to do this. Likewise for your partner there is support on here for them too.
Plus there is always the help-line if you want to talk to some-one that doesn’t know you as a nurse.
yes scroll up to the top and down the left is a list of links, about the eighth down is glossary and terms. someone has put a thread on there with all the abreviations.
WLE–wide lumpectomy–getting the little blighter out
SNB --sential node biopsy --taking out the first set of nodes and testing thm to see if its gone on the the other nodes
Wish I wasnt welcoming you to the club but then who really wants to be a member?
Deal with this shitty disease in whatever way you are happy with.
I am still like you. I was diagnosed in April and after 2 lots of surgery I am gearing up for the start of chemo on 22nd June.
I shocked my best friend when I turned up after the diagnosis, smiled at her and declared ‘I’ve got Breast Cancer’. I was told, in no uncertain terms, ‘thats not something to smile about’
I have already got my blue wig lined up to waer at Guides, (see my profile pic) and OH ready with the shaver.
Good Luck with the treatment, come and have a bevvy in the JM one night. (search the forums for the Dark Dark Woods) My tent is the Lilac one with Turquoise panels I have nice soft cushions on the daybed, I’m happy to share.
In addition to the valuable support you have already our helpliners are here to offer you further support and information on 0808 800 6000, the lines are open 9-5 weekdays and 9-2 Sat.
I am posting a link to the BCC resource pack which has been designed specifically for those newly diagnosed, you can order a copy here:
Alesta, I have almost the same diagnosis as you, DCIS, invasive tumours in my right breast, but no node involvement. I was diagnosed on the 10th March or was it the 9th, anyway the day before the Japanese Tsunami!
I posted something a while back saying am I odd. I am totally calm about the whole thing, and determined I will get better and apart from the odd tear now and again I am fine. I did wonder that I was going bonkers or in denial when I read some of the ladies on hear talking of sheer terror etc etc. But realise now its just my way of dealing with things. I was not one of the screamers lol during labour either.
There is no a right or wrong way to feel. We are all different.
Hi Alesta and welcome
the others have given such good advice and support I can only add a supportive voice xx I found I was more concerned about keeping things cool for my kids when I was first dx’d - they were 11 and 9, and we did OK - I had similar dx to you.
This is your dx and your story, however you respond is right for you.
Hope things go well, let us know how you’re getting on xx
Yes, I’m like that. I had an OP, chemo and radiotherapy starting in March 2008 and I have never broken down and cried the whole time. I am much more concerned about having to go to lymphatic drainage all the time and all the bad advice I’ve had from doctors about the effects of treatment. One of my friends told me recently that she always thought I was bearing up and would break down one day, but now realizes I am not. I read quite a lot, including accounts of people who died of cancer, I’m aware I may get secondaries etc. But if I am repressing any feelings, I think it’s a good thing!
)so wander round and meet people who are in the same boat, pulling on the same oars and coming up against the same icebergs.