Hi, I’m reaching out as I had a bit of a shock yesterday which has knocked me for six!
I had surgery in January 24 followed by radio therapy and I’ve been on tamoxifen since January also. All the cancer was removed, lymph nodes were clear. I’ve been trying to move on. But yesterday I had a follow up appointment and the doctor noticed some changes in my other breast. My last mammogram (October last year) showed a lot of cysts but nothing concerning. She said it could be due to the cysts/more cysts but she said it felt different and I just keep thinking back to that first appointment when the cancer was found and she had the same look on her face. I’ve got to wait for an appointment for a mammogram and ultra sound as they didn’t have any yesterday. I’m freaking out and thinking the worst. I watched my mum die from breast cancer when I was only 18 so it’s always been a big fear of mine and holds a lot of bad memories. I know there is nothing I can do until my next appointment but I’m a mess, and wondered if anyone had any coping strategies to help or if anyone has had a similar experience x
Hi dolly-diva22
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Lisa
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I’m so sorry you’re back in the waiting game, it’s just the worst time.
I have no lightbulb ideas but you have done this before, you got through it and you will again. I found long car drives on my own, screaming as loud as I could (I’m sure people around must have thought me nuts), sometimes drives to beaches where I would walk for hours, I watched hours and hours of crappy box sets, I also got some diazepam and sleeping tablets from my GP.
But everyone is different, I wanted to lock myself away and have nothing to do with anyone outside my husband and kids, other people meet up and talk with friends. So do what you want to do. Keep calling the breast team and try and get a cancellation - there’s lots of Covid about at the hospital where I work so you could be lucky with a quick appointment.
And it really could be a harmless lump, but I know that’s hard to get your head around when panic sets in. Hope you get an appointment soon and you can breathe again xx
Hi dolly-diva22
I’m so sorry to hear that you are experiencing this worry again. It must be extremely difficult to be faced with another possible diagnosis.
Hopefully you will receive an appointment very soon. Perhaps you could call your bcn and ask for a cancellation if possible?
Have you any hobbies you could throw yourself into or audible books to listen to?
It’s the worst thing to have to try and steer your mind from the constant voices going around in your head. But remember that it could be cysts as suggested.
Sending you lots of positive thoughts
Let us know how you get on
Best wishes
Lynn x
Sorry, it’s so horrendous, the costant worry and waiting. I have been called in twice in the last year for further tests. Once for a lump which turned out to be a fatty lump and once because my annual mammo was not clear. The waiting and failure to share what they know or suspect is the worst of it. You should’t have to guess what is in their facial expressions!
Despite my catastrophising, the tests showed nothing of suspicion. I hope you get the same but this fear never goes away. I remind myself that they are being very thorough and I am thankful for that.
Just try to remind yourself that it might be fine and all the worry and stress might be unnecessary. Try anything that is a destraction.
I wish you well x
Thank you for all your replies and advice. I will definitely try some long walks as a distraction. I’m lucky in that my hobby is my job. I’m a singer, and I have lots of gigs over the next couple of weeks to keep me busy. I’m a bit of an emotional mess at the moment though. The waiting is just the worst!
I will keep you posted with my appointment x
Hello dolly-diva22
Thanks for posting.
This sounds like it’s a difficult time, while you wait for further investigation to your other breast, especially as you explain seeing your mum die from breast cancer when you were 18. It’s understandable you feel shocked.
Waiting for tests and test results is often very emotionally draining. There are a number of different strategies you could try to help you while you wait. @lynnc123, @laneycass and @lynikinz have made some good suggestions.
You explain having some gigs coming up which will keep you busy. You may also want to try relaxation or mindfulness techniques. Many people find that physical activity can help with their mental health. Others find creative activities such journalling helps and complementary therapies can help you feel less anxious.
We wonder what support you have as talking to someone you trust about how you are feeling might share the burden. Do also speak to your treatment team and GP about any local services such as counselling or cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT) you might be able to be referred to. Depending on where in the UK you are you can self-refer for CBT, but there may be a long waiting list for this.
You are very welcome to call our helpline if you would like to talk this through or have any further questions. The helpline team have time to listen, talk things through and signpost you to additional support and information if necessary. Your call will be confidential, and the number is free from UK landlines and all mobile networks.
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Best wishes
Jane
Breast Care Nurse
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