Cheer up rareybird

A Welshman was washed up on a beach after a terrible shipwreck. Only a
sheep and a sheepdog were washed up with him.
Looking around, he realised that they were stranded on a deserted
island.

After being there a while, he got into the habit of taking his two
animal companions to the beach every evening towatch the sun set.
One particular evening, the sky was a fiery red with beautiful cirrus
clouds, the breeze was warm and gentle - a perfect night for romance.

As they sat there, the sheep started looking better and better to the
lonely Welshman. Soon, he leaned over to the sheep and… put his arm around
it.

But the sheepdog, ever protective of the sheep,growled fiercely until
the man took his arm from around the sheep.

After that, the three of them continued to enjoy the sunsets together,
but there was no more cuddling.

A few weeks passed by and, lo and behold, there was another shipwreck.

The only survivor was a beautiful young woman, the most beautiful woman
the man had ever seen.
She was in a pretty bad way when he rescued her and he slowly
nursed her back to health.

When the young maiden was well enough, he introduced her to their
evening beach ritual. It was another beautiful evening…
red sky, cirrus
clouds, a warm and gentle breeze - perfect for a night
of romance.

Pretty soon, the Welshman started to get ‘those feelings’ again.
He fought the urges as long as he could, but he finally gave in and,
realising he now had the opportunity, leaned over to the young woman,
cautiously, and whispered in her ear,

‘Would you mind taking the dog for a walk?’

A guy had an interesting experience recently involving an ‘older’

woman he met at a bar.

She looked pretty darn HOT for 62. She was drinking quite a bit, and

while they were chatting, she came right out and asked him if he’d

ever had a ‘sportsman’s double’ - a mother and daughter threesome.

He said no, but she might be able to talk him into it. So she slams

back one last drink, wipes her mouth, and looking directly

into his eyes, she tells him,

‘Tonight’s your lucky night.’

So they go back to her place, she

clicks on the hall light right as

they enter, and she shouts upstairs,

‘Mom! You still awake?’

A drunk man who smelled like beer sat down on a subway next to a priest.

The man’s tie was stained, his face was plastered with red lipstick,

and a half empty bottle of gin was sticking out of his torn coat pocket.

He opened his newspaper and began reading.
After a few minutes the man turned to the priest and asked,

‘Say Father, what causes arthritis?’
The priest replies, ‘My Son, it’s caused by loose living, being
with cheap, wicked women, too much alcohol, contempt for your fellow man,
sleepin around with prostitutes and lack of a bath.’
The drunk muttered in response, ‘Well, I’ll be damned,’ Then
returned tohis paper.

The priest, thinking about what he had said, nudged the man and apologized.
‘I’m very sorry. I didn’t mean to come on so strong. How long have
you had arthritis?’

The drunk answered, 'I don’t have it, Father. I was just reading here

that the Pope does.’