Ebim I don’t mind at all. Hope our posts can help you and your OH. I think if you were ok on FEC you will also be ok on FEC. I have so far found Tax much easier. Just done my first gcsf injection! Scotty how did it go today? Hope everyone has a good weekend. R x
Sorry that should say if you were ok on FEC you hopefully will also be ok on Tax.
Hi ebim, I don’t mind at all! I tell my OH of things I read on the internet, I think to prepare him, but also to make sure he knows it’s not just me! That this disease and it’s treatment affects others like it affects me and so I’m normal somehow if that makes sense?!
I’m feeling very low emotionally at the moment, like nobody understands the horror of what I’m going through - the whole package - diagnosis, prognosis, chemo, surgery, radiation and other effects related to those, for example, I have haemorrhoids for the first time in my life due to diarrhoea from tax and can’t sit down and I cry at the thought of going to the loo! And my toenails hurt under the weight of the bedcovers…it’s the whole package.
All ok. It was a long day having all 3. 8 and a half hours in all. Feel ok no adverse reactions to new drugs. Down to just 1 g-caf Jan from 7. Same benefits less se apparently. When did the diarrhoea strike??
8.5 hours Scotty?!! Wow!
I’ve had ‘tax trots’ every time - not sure it affects everyone though? I had it from day 2 for about 5 days…
Blue I’m sorry to hear you’re feeling down. We’re all here for you so let off steam when you need to. Scotty glad to hear no side effects so far. What a long day for you. Did you say you had three drugs? R x
Yes. They were docetaxal herceptin and perjeta. Not looking forward to the morning given the day 2 report! Apparently they’ve only just started giving them all in one day used to be two. All over and done with I suppose
Blue 2,
Up on my wall in front of my computer are the words “This is a big deal, a lengty process and very frightening” They have given me great comfort. Your words. And they have never been more right for you than now. Its all such a roller coaster of a ride that at time we all want to get off. But then we get just a few days feeling almost normal. Yours few days are just around the corner, hang in there, We are all with you. just wish I could give you a real hug. love Ebim x
Blue I’m so sorry to hear you are feeling low. It’s s**t what we are having to go through and sometimes I think we forget that as we are all brave women who just want to get on with it and get it over with.
I have a friend who had very aggressive BC around 5 years ago and is now out of the other side. She told me at the beginning of this That it can sometimes feel a very lonely journey. She is in Denmark and I think they don’t have many online forums) Just remember that you are NOT on your own as we are all here with you so just let off steam and tell us how you are doing. Everyone has bad days and I hope in a few days yours will pass and you will feel emotionally stronger.
Sending you big hugs Egg xx
Thank you for your words Ebim, your post brought tears to my eyes from your support. Thank you for reminding me of what I said - I’m so pleased you gained comfort from my words too. Thank you Robin, and egg too - your friend is right, I feel very alone at the moment and I suppose I had a bit of a moan on here as out of everybody, you all probably can identify the best with how I am feeling.
I feel like I’ve stepped back a bit with my coping. The uncertainty of the future and what it holds for me is preying on my mind like it did when I was first diagnosed. Im sure I’ll work through it - I always feel a bit low before my next treatment session anyway, but this time it feels worse. Maybe its because I’m right in the middle of treatment and can’t see light at the end if the tunnel yet?!
Thanks for being there everyone. X
We all know how you feel Blue. The depression and anxiety is always there waiting to strike isn’t it? I had a strange conversation with a friend last week. She said to me 'you’re coping well and you’re strong - it’s the ones who aren’t strong who find it difficult '. I didn’t think of anything to say at the time. Later I thought what a weird thing to say. I wish I had told her she was wrong - it is difficult, incredibly difficult, for everyone of us, whether we give the appearance of coping or not.
To report back on Tax 1. I’m on day 4 now and side effects are making an appearance. No idea whether they are caused by Tax, steroid crash or gcsf. Achy limbs, flu like symptoms, sore mouth, very tired. Bit of a shock when first few days were fine. R x
Hang in their ladies, everything you have all written is so true and tugs at my heart strings. Unless you are going through this **bleep** nobody can truly understand how it feels. I can’t really add to what has been said, just sending you all love and hugs
Nicky xx
Hugs to Ebim, Blue and all of you, I can’t add much to what has been said already, but what a great source of support this thread is. Blue, what you are feeling is so normal given what we are going through, and I feel much the same after a tough couple of days, including an oncology appointment where the registrar made me feel like a nuisance. I think its a tough time now because initially, half way seemed great but now it seems we have been through so much and still have so much to come, plus for many of us the fear of a new type of chemo. I am apprehensive about Herceptin because I thought I would have it through my port but apparently it will be given in my thigh but no-one could explain why its not going though the port. These sort of things add to the feeling of losing control of your life. Its all such a roller coaster and we have to try and believe that after the downs there will be ups.
I just wanted to say how wonderfully supportive the group is, whether a regular poster or not the comfort we all have from the group is invaluable.
I thought having done the final FEC I would feel pretty good that I was half way through but the last 3 weeks have proved challenging. I found a lump in my other breast last week - thankfully a cyst but mentally another anguish to deal with. And this week my dad was admitted to hospital with pneumonia - not a great couple of weeks and I’m very apprehensive about starting the docetaxal on Monday.
Good luck to all those having treatment this week, especially those changing regime - is there anyone else changing or is it just slowski and esther? I have my final tax tomorrow and although im still feeling a bit fed up, im resigned to the treatment - it’s got to be done!
How are you Robin and Scotty on the tax so far?
I’m changing to EC after tomorrow, so I’d be grateful to hear about that regime, to prepare. IE, drugs, side effects, timescales etc…
Hope everyone else is OK?
X
I’m here! Slept since Friday chemo marathon and day 4 aches have kicked in. Imagine what it’s doing to the little bugger though xx
Love it Jackie. I’m doing just that right now! Herceptin done and docetaxel being given as I type. Good luck to everyone else this week and thanks for your kind words. Xx
Love it Jackie ?
Hope you’ve managed to avoid the ‘gastric disturbance’ SE Scotty?!!
Jackie, I think I too am consciously making memories with my children, but hadn’t realised I was doing it until I saw your post! I’m also taking more photos, with me in them to trigger the memories in case they forget! Its just stuff I never even thought about before this, just took it for granted I suppose. I am so, so aware that I don’t know what the future holds for me, and in my lowest times I worry that I won’t see my children grow into adults and obviously that is too sad to comprehend and typing it now makes me cry. BUT, i also see like in the spirit of your post and the picture attachment, that I have to live and enjoy my life now as best i can, as worrying about the maybe horror of the future means I’m not fully living and enjoying the now.
Thanks everyone. X