Congratulations Slowski and Suze for crossing the line! Just imagine, in 3 weeks time your body will be continuing to get better, rather than being knocked back again by treatment! I am excited by that thought myself but have a while to go.
Good luck for today Jackie.
Hope your moving forward course helps Suze. Do report back to us - am sure many of us will have struggles moving forward and finding a new normal when the time comes.
X
Thanks for the info Old Dawn. I knew 7/8 meant my cancer was quite hormone receptive, but that’s as much as I knew!
Jackie all the best for today hope it all goes according to plan!! Badge for you later fingers crossed!
Egg x
Congratulations Esther, Fen Hen, Slowski and Suze! Flooding across the line now!
Jackie, fingers crossed that you are done too?
I have 5 of 6 on Tuesday so a few weeks to go yet, then rads. I will think of being on that sunbed in Tobago, cocktail in hand, with my fellow teddies on Tuesday.
I really feel for you younger women who are coping with children and also menopausal symptoms from the treatment, I sure remember those white hot flushes and sweats - always a good moment to check the contents of the freezer - followed by shivering. They didn’t go on for long at that intensity though.
I know we will move on to discuss hormone treatment more as we get to that stage but just to say, I was put on Anastrozole for 2 or 3 months because my chemo start was delayed (onc said it was just as effective as chemo as an adjuvant treatment). I dreaded it but I can honestly say it had no obvious immediate SEs at all for me except a vaguely strange smell/taste at first. I did have a DEXA baseline scan which was arranged as soon as I started it. I came off it during chemo but will restart afterwards.
I hope everyone has a good bank holiday weekend.
hugs Beedot x
Jackie - congratulations, you made it despite everything the chemotherapy threw at you, including BOB and Roberta. Now you have finished their days are numbered. I hope your SEs are mild and you will have enough time to recuperate before radiotherapy starts.
There is a May 2017 Radiotherapy thread which you can join when you start. If there is anything you want to ask about radiotherapy in the meantime, I will do my best to help if I can.
Thank you so very much for my chemo graduation badge!!! I made it!!
Huge congrats to Slowski, Suze, Fenhen and to badge master Jackie - well done ladies!
Just starting to feel like I’m turning a corner now. Rads will start on 22 may but in the meantime I have a week in north Devon to look forward to.
Truey - thanks for the spa advice.
Have a lovely bank holiday weekend all. X
Huge congrats to all you chemo grads!! What an achievement!! 
I had my 7/12 weekly tax on Thursday. I’ve been feeling so low recently though. SEs have been really kind but I think my hormones are messed up as I’ve been so close to crying or shouting at everyone all week. Has anyone else been like that? My patience with my 3 yo daughter has been non-existent and then the guilt hits. I couldn’t even speak to my OH on the way to hospital this week I was so full of bitterness.
Then to top it off I asked my nurse about the hot flushes (at least 20 each day, not joking) and her response was a very sad face with “yes, unfortunately treatment can speed up the menopause”. I knew this was a possibility but I had been planning another child prior to my diagnosis as I so wanted my daughter to have a sibling, a friend for life. It makes me so sad to think this isn’t possible. As truely grateful as I am for having her. I really don’t want to sound ungrateful as she is the best thing that ever happened to me.
I should be happy that I’m going to live and be there for her but I just feel super emotional at the moment.
My OH doesn’t seem to get it.
Sorry to sound so negative. I think it’s just that whole downer - being so close to finishing yet still so far…
Bring on Tobago! And yes, no red cocktails!! Xxx
Dear WTP,
I completely understand how you feel, and I think it is normal for us all to feel like this. I too have days when I feel so fed up, sweaty one minute then emotional the next. I’m sure it is hormonal. And sadly it is the kids who sometimes get the brunt of our moods. My son actually said to me “I thought you would be nicer now that you have breast cancer” ?
We have come so far and it has been a long slog, and even though you are more than half way you still have more treatment, (and then surgery I believe) and then radio to go, so it still seems a long way off.
Plus I think the chemo makes our bodies tired and hence we are more emotional.
My neighbour came over last night, she is also young (41) and had breast cancer 2 years ago - first thing she asked was whether my emotions had been all over the place. So I think it’s very very normal.
I do know 2 sisters who had breast cancer and one went on to have a baby after treatment. So it’s not completely out of the question. Is it something you could ask your consultant about when you see him/her?
I’m thinking of you and hope you feel better later today.
Sending hugs to everyone else on this bank holiday weekend. Keep thinking of those palm trees and cocktails!
Egg x
Hi Wtp,
I don’t know what I can say to help you at this time, apart from that I’m so sorry about what you are going through.
I do suggest that you check the potential permanence of your menopause/menopause symptoms with your oncologist and MDT though as they may be temporary and there may still be options for you after chemo has finished. Maybe the nurse doesnt have your full story? Either way, somebody needs to discuss it with you, especially as more children factored in your future plans.
I struggled to conceive - it took me years! - and was truly grateful for my first healthy son, but like you, i wanted more children for probably just the same reasons you do. I think had the decision/option to try for more children been taken out of my hands… Well, actually, I don’t know what I would’ve thought. Cheated probably, for myself, my husband and my son. And a whole host of other emotions. And add them to this hellish rollercoaster you’re on anyway… Don’t be too hard on yourself about your feelings.
I too am being foul to my husband, so yours and Jackie’s aren’t the only ones taking the brunt of this. And I’m more disinterested and disengaged with my children, i sometimes go from 0-10 in seconds as have less patience with them too. They are older than your daughter so I can explain that I’m tired or my treatment makes me grumpy, however they are still children and don’t wholly grasp that! I have night flushes every 90 minutes and daytime flushes more frequently. This is probably the worst SE for me at the moment. The thought of being thrown into the menopause makes me really mad and upset, however I am older than you and my family complete, however it’s still hard for me to take!
Keep talking. We will never completely understand your position and situation, but will be with you as best we can and will be sharing some of your experiences as they are ours too.
X
Well done to Esther, Slowski, Suze, Fen Hen and Jackie who all crossed the chemo finishing line this week. More people at the party! Plenty of room still for everyone else. And a Caribbean holiday in the offing. I agree - no red cocktails.
Good luck to everyone due to finish or have treatment next week.
Wtp, of course you must use this space to give free rein to your feelings and emotions. This is such a difficult journey but we’ve all got each others ’ backs. I don’t have children of my own so I can quite understand how you must feel.
My radiotherapy planning meeting was a much better experience than the mri. Good old royal Marsden. You were quite right (Dawn I think) I didn’t need the picc for the ct scan so I could have had it removed last week. Grrrr. Why is it we patients know more about procedures than the staff who advise us?!
Things I have learnt this week - if you want to be offered a seat on a crowded commuter train becaue of weak jelly legs, it is not enough to wear a low immunity face mask. Realising fifteen minutes into journey one should have gone wigless as well is too late!
Can someone remind me, what does it mean if you have white patches on your tongue?
Hope all teddy warriors have good weekends. R x
Hi - I know all about whitenpatches having had them for the last week after 2nd tax (5/6 down 1 to go) - it’s probably thrush - so use chlorahexidine mouthwash and get some Nystan from GP or chemo unit - good luck!
Hiya chemo buddies.
Just been catching up on this fantastic thread.
Firstly congratulations to all you tax warriors who have completed this part of the journey you have all done so well and been so strong… I can’t wait to join the party! My last tax is next Tuesday and although I have the usual anxieties about what is to come the thought of knowing it will be my last will push me over that finish line.
Wtp - I had an meeting with my oncologist last Thursday and he can’t decide what hormone therapy to give me. I am 43 and pre menopausal. My bc is 8/8 for both oestrogen and progesterone. At first he was saying he wanted to give me injections to suppress my ovaries and give me exemestane, then he decided he will start with tamoxifen as this is the standard treatment and there may be new drug trails that he wants to see if he can get me on which you may only be eligible for if on tamoxifen. In the end he told me to start taking tamoxifen 3 weeks after last chemo and come back in 8 weeks time and he will review the situation. Will keep you updated.
I then had my CT scan for radiotherapy on Friday. This was pretty easy, you have to lie on your back and they move you around a little till they are happy with your position and then draw on you and pop stickers on you. I then had to hold my breath for 20 seconds while they scanned me, which they did 3 times. Then they gave me the tattoos…they are a tiny blue dot, you actually struggle to see mine and it doesn’t hurt, just a tiny pin prick.
I am getting 3 weeks of radiotherapy as I have already had a mastectomy starting on 23 may and finishing 12 June.
Suze I would love to hear about your “moving on” course. Like Egg and Wtp I worry constantly about the future, the effect on my children and if this horrible disease will come back. My OH has been really supportive but believes that soon everything will be back to normal but I feel like things will never go back to how they were before and I will always have " the fear". I guess you just have to learn to live with it.
Sorry for such a long post.
Will be thinking of that carribean holiday whilst getting my final blast on Tuesday!
Nicky x
Congratulations Jackie, our posts crossed last night, well done for finishing!
I don’t know if it is the Tax or just cumulative chemo fatigue but my mood is definitely lower now. I feel like I have PMT - on a short fuse and ready to snap at things that would normally wash over me. I don’t think it is hormones in my case and at my age (59) so add to that hormones for you younger women and what a mix that is, no wonder you are up and down, well done for keeping it together and as the others say, let it out here.
I am am pleased to hear reports back of the prep for RT, it doesn’t sound as daunting as chemo, thanks for the reassurance Robin, Nicky and Dawn.
Hugs to all Beedot x
Hi all,
regarding the “fear” and moving on after all this treatment, I just thought I would tell you about a friend of mine who visited today. She had it 12 years ago, at age 40, she had chemo, RT, mastectomy, reconstruction. She had a consultation a few months later about whether she wanted more children and concluded not so her treatment plan was amended to take account of that. She remains on extramasane because she has refused to come off it. Her recent 3 year scan was fine. She has a wonderful attitude to it - it changed her life, she rearranged her priorities, got a balance, stopped putting up with people she didn’t particularly like and is really content with life. She knows she did everything in her power and she doesn’t let the fear creep in. She has been very supportive and a great role model. I would like to be able to follow her example!
good luck everyone this week.
Beedot x
Good morning amazing chemo warriors! And congratulations to everyone who
has had their last chemo. I am having my last Tax today (hurray), long day as no blood test yesterday as bank holiday so have to go in early as very busy. Think as ot is an hour and half round trip it will be all day jobby.
I am concerned as still having hangover SE’s from last Tax. Tips of fingers painful and eyes running and crusty. But at least this is last one.
I understand all your fears moving on. I haven’t got my head round how I feel yet. There is still radiotherapy Letrozole and port out to cope with. Everyone keeps saying last one as if that’s it, and it seems churlish not be excited and i can see light
tunnel etc but…it changes you. I would like to do moving on course I think.Friends and family say ‘oh soon all over, back to normal’ not sure what is normal for me any more. ñI know I am not the only one thinking this or over thinking as my OH says.All you younger ladies ( I am a very young 65!)coping with children and chemo and menopause, I take my hat and wig off too you. You have so much more to cope with and do it with such resilience and fortitude, whilst having your own worries and crises.
On a more amusing (or not) note. I was out with family in Newark on Saturday, had lovely day but about to cross road and wind got up and spiralled wig up off head and down road.! I was so shocked and panicked I just ran after it trying to catch this thing that looked like a live animal rolling ahead of me! Caught it eventually and returned it to head, to find family howling with laughter trying to look sympathetic. Can’t wait for hair to grow back.
Good luck to everyone this week.
Robin Slowski Scotty Jackie and everyone who has had last Tax hope SE’s manageable. At least this part of journey over, looking forward to party, and can’t wait for the Caribbean, did someone say Tobago?
Hugs and love to you all
Mooneyxx
Good luck to those passing the finishing post today! Save me a sausage roll for when I finally get to the party myself! Although, sausage rolls…in Tobago!!!
Lighthouse, I would be interested in reading any information you get re hormone therapy. Tamoxifen was mentioned to me way back in December at the start of this journey, but nobody has discussed it with me since, as I still have surgery, radiotherapy to come. I was under the impression that hormone therapy would start right at the end of treatment, after chemo, surgery and radiation… What are others experiences with this?
X
Thanks Jackie. I suppose I’ll just have to see what they say about my order of things. I was hoping for a bit of a break from it all, time to recover from chemo for a few weeks before surgery and following surgery for a few weeks before radiation, before the hormones hit permanently, however typing that now makes me realise its ridiculous! Like you can have a break from cancer treatment?! Sorry to hear you’re struggling with the last dose SE. The only way is up now!
Egg/Beedot and anyone else who had vein problems from EC, I’ve been given hiruoid cream to use but since I’ve been using it, my affected veins have become more visible and the aching/bruising feeling in my arm is worse! Is that normal - does it get worse before it gets better, or does that sound wrong?!
I’m done! Home on the sofa praying the next 21 days will be kind with the se. Jackie sorry to hear the se are being unkind, big hugs.
Mooney/nicky - hope it went ahead for you and was a smooth as possible.
Blue2 - well they gave me the hormone inj in the chemo suit dueing my chemo so ovary suppression hear we come - i already get night sweats and the hot flushes have started over last week or so only mild at present, i wonder how quick they will ramp up! Ill share info when i get it.
Ivw booked some counselling via the Haven to help with miving on. I also tried a workshop they run abour Eft - emotional freedom techniques - involved tapping pressure points while saying a positive affirmation. Not for me but some of the group reported benefits!
Have a good evening all much love xx
Well done Lighthouse! Rest up for a few days now.
Xx
Thanks badge master jackie! It means a lot im even sat i here in a black cap of sorts!! ( buff!)
Cheers slowski! Xx