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comment from a Some people can leave you open mouthed. I was having a conversation with a “friend” who is well aware of my cancer history and treatment. She was telling me about another aquaintance who had recently been diagnosed with breast cancer but "they had caught it early and she would’nt need chemotherapy (like i had).After a pause she said ,"Well I expect since she dosent need chemotherapy , she’s not going to die. Thanks a bundle.

Why do ‘friends’ think we need to hear stuff like this, its sheer ignorance on their part. I like to think because we’ve had chemo, we won’t die any sooner than anyone else and because we’ve had bc, we’re monitored regularly
My support friends from this site who I speak to regularly both have had bc with chemo and rads, one 10yrs ago and the other 5 years ago. They are a constant support to me. My sister who was diagnosed two days after me didn’t need any further treatment after her mastectomy and had immediate reconstruction. She sometimes feels that she would have liked chemo as insurance. I, on the other hand, had mastectomy and chemo and start rads tomorrow, but I want to be like her.
When people start saying anything about bc, we try and ignore them because they know nothing unless they’ve had it themselves just like we were before we had it - horrid to think that ‘friends’ think that tho isn’t it

Comments Hi Cherry,
I have had some quite amazing comments from people I thought would have had more sense. I had lobular BC grade 2 and had a mastectomy and Sentinel Node Biopsy and luckily had to have no other treatment except Hormone therapy. One “friend” said couldn’t have been very bad cancer then. I didn’t realise there was good cancer. It is hard for some people to understand what having BC does to you. It isn’t just physical but mental too. That is why only the people who have gone through it can sympathise with you. I just smile now at the sometimes ridiculous comments. I do know how lucky I have been.!!!
All the best to you Cherry. Keep smiling. Love Audrey xxxxx

cheek! when i first returned to work a “colleague” came upto me, said how glad she was to see me again and then said " when you went off sick i told everyone - thats the last we will see of Carol"


When I was first diagnosed last October, I was getting people giving me cuttings from magazines and papers about breast cancer just about every day (I was even getting stuff in the post!) and it really started getting to me after a bit as I found it really unhelpful. Also, my sister who works abroad kept emailing me and saying “in 12 months time we will all be celebrating that you’re well again” - this was before I had even had my lymph nodes out, so I didn’t know how good or bad things were (as it turns out I’m on Herceptin for a year starting before I finish chemo, so it all gets dragged out into summer 2008). I had to politely tell her that the only way I could cope with this was to just take it a step at a time (and this has worked for me as I have kept very positive throughout).

TBH, I’m actually quite glad that my sister is not here as I don’t feel she would be any help to me because of her outlook on things. She’s also single and quite selfish and I think I would end up falling out with her if she was here. I took a year off work to look after our late dad and she didn’t have much of a clue what was going on with that either.

prophets of doom My neighbour opposite knows I have cancer as I told him before I paid him to do the painting of the outside of my house. He now tells me about everyone he knows who has cancer, and usually they have ended up dying.

I am afraid I find it rather funny

so god knows what is happening to me


With friends like these… I was working abroad last year when I was diagnosed with cancer. My boss (a woman) shouted at me for asking for a day off after my lumpectomy. Later, she came out with the classic line “Atleast chemotherapy’s a good way to lose weight.” I was struck speechless (and I was only 8 stone!!) I had a nightmare time with this woman and now, when I look back, I realise I only took 5 days off work!! Unsurprisingly, I caved in and was constructively dismissed before I started the chemo.

Let’s face it…some people don’t think before they speak and others are just plain nasty!!

thanx girls… At least I can reassure myself I’m not being over sensitive. It’s funny but people either look at me with their overly concerned face and I can “see” them thinking “I wonder how long she’s got”-or treat me as though I’ve had a bad dose of flu and I should be over it by now.
There’s no pleasing me!!