Coping after operation

I have my surgery on Tuesday (WLE of marker coil and axillary clearance - I’ve been on neoadjuvant chemo for 3 mths).

I have heard all the stuff ie no lifting for 3 weeks etc, but was just wondering how people with young children actually found this? I have a 12 mth old and a 2.5 year old.

I do have lots of support to look after them if I need it, but want to be able to look after them again as soon as I can. I want to dress them, and be able to cuddle them with their books etc. And it is actually really hard to even be around a 12 mth old if you can’t lift them or help them in any way.

I am hoping to come home within 24 hrs with a drain in, and that will come out 3 days later.

Realise I need to ‘go with the flow’ a bit he but just want to have an idea what to expect.

Thanks xxx

Hi Manny. I had a mx on 1st June and came home the next day with drain in. Had drain removed after 3 days. Haven’t had much pain at all. My children are older so dont need lifting but I’m sure if you’ve got someone there you’ll be able to manage most things well apart from the lifting. you’ll still be able to manage cuddles.
Wishing you all the best.
Polly xx

ok, daft off the wall sugestion here. how about putting that arm in a loose sling. It must be so hard not to handle your children and do things you are used to, but if it is a bit immobalised you will have to think twice about using it and adapt what you do.

also a bit easier to explain to your children why things have change-- mummy has a sore arm at the moment so cannot do that.

Or is this a daft idea.

when i had a hystorectommy((oooh spelling)) my consultant told me to live in pajamas for six weeks, to remind myself and my family that I might feel well but that i was not supposed to be anything heavier than a kettle.

HI there, I had the neighbour’s kids round very soon after coming home from similar op to you - boy 2, girls 3 and 5. I had to sit at end of sofa so axillary clearance side next to sofa arm - less room for charlie to bump and bash around the drain and drain site - after the drain was out it was much much less of an issue - although I didn’t have small people who needed lifting - you really don’t want any little feet on drain bag by mistake , cos if you pull it it does hurt - ( just for reassurance otherwise you hardly notice its in and coming out once suction released is no bother either btw…)
so signifiying something to yourself and others about your sore arm may be good - not sure about sling …aren’t we meant to keep moving the arm…??

I came home the same day only had node cleareance, dont have children at home now but do have 7 maniac terriers, coped with the drain very well and it was out within three days. I carried it in the bag and was a little more careful than usual with the dogs. Dont know if dogs would be worse than kids but would think so lol… Hope all goes well for you.

Well - I do have 2 terriers as well 1 so I definitely kwo what you are saying there!

I have been told to keep moving the arm as well, and I am VERY right handed so I need it to do stuff with!

Sitting in a chair so they can’t jump on that side is a goo idea though. My BCN said to show the wound to the toddler so he can see the cut and that will make him more careful. Megan is another matter though!

Ugh. It won’t be for long anyway, right?!

No, it won’t be for long, good luck today, and don’t forget to do the exercises when you get home, bw Nicola

Hi manny,I had a mx and SNB on 12th May,I came home the nxt day with drain in,I have 2 children 2 & 6 & I found it hard not being able to lift the little one and do things like dressing ect but its not for long & I just cuddled on the other side carefully and i explained mummy was sore & they colud see my drain so even the younger one was sort of careful,defo sit near the arm of the couch to protect that side & remember its not for long, Im 3 1/2 weeks post op and im back on the school run and doing much more for the children and feeling a little bit more like my self (except for the worry but thats normal for now).Hope everything goes well for you too,and as previously said defo do the exercises cos they really help its hard and painful at 1st but take it easy and you will see the benefits.