coping emotionally

i had a lumpectomy 2 weeks and wondering if anyone feels like becoing a recluse, as ifeel i am

Dear Ringo

I have been having chemo pre lumpectomy, 3 down, the 4th on Friday. I’m still working but am feeling increasingly isolated. Partly because I can’t go out and have fun with my colleagues (I work for a record company, sociable job usually) and partly because I feel like I can’t talk or think about much else but my breast cancer.

I have lots of nice friends I can talk to but I try not to talk about it all the time. It’s hard though! I feel more isolated inside my head now.

I think it’s natural, we go into survival mode and becoming partially reclusive seems to be part of that.

Are you OK generally though?

Cecelia. x

Hi Ringo, i would love to be a recluse, i am sick of seeing people, ok, i know they mean well, but how do you get over it all when they won’t give you time to rest? thankfully the outlaws are away for three weeks! two down about six to go!

Alison xxxx

When I was having chemo (fin may 07), I was quite poorly and needed to stay at home for at least the first 10 days of each cycle. I would then feel more up to going out but didn’t like to stray too far from my comfort zone, my little house. It used to feel very odd getting in the car and watching as the world passed by after being static for so long!

I am more than 3 mths past the end of chemo now and am feeling pretty back to normal. Actually going back to work in 2 wks, bit scary but needs must.


good morning and welcome. I know what you mean, I had my lumpectomy in June and felt like closing the door on everyone. The problem was, everyone was desperate to make sure I was ok so they went into over drive and I ended up with more visitors than normal. In the end I got my OH to answer the phone and say I was sleeping. I felt bad but it was the only way.
You need to have some you time. If that means ignoring the world for a while then do it, do what is right for you. I hope it passes, my did, but it sometimes comes back. I am half way through chemo and still have dark days (read some of my threads). I couldn’t have got through it without this great site and wonderful support - use us, it is what we are here for.
Sending lol, hope it helps,
Tracy xxx

Hi Ringo

Yes it is difficult not to talk about anything else - I even find others want to ask especially women. I think the whole topic can hold sense of horrible fascination. I was lucky that purely by coincidence I started a writing class about 6 weeks before the BC came up. I have found using it in stories, writing a journal gets the subject out of my head and gives me room to think of other things. I have also told people what fun it is getting out and talking about other subjects and if I get stuck on track to nudge me off. You can unload on the forum and keep friends for other stuff.

You don’t have to see people if you don’t want to but do try and not to get too isolated. It can be frightening place to be on your own sometimes and remember we are all here for each as Tracey said for the dark times (is there a sitcom lurking in there, sorry dark humour kicks in sometimes).

Do look after yourself things will change and some up times do kick in.

cyber hug Swanie x

thanks everyone it is nice to feel i am not alone. i am booked in next tues for just to remove a bit more tissue but am going in as a daypatient and my husband is allowed to stay with me which does help. i do not have many visitors when i was diagnosed people sent flowers teddies and more flowers when i came home from 1st opp. since though besides my parents and 2 friends others seem unable to cope. my mam is very overprotective and if she had her way i would not pick up a cup. i laugh now but at the time i felt a bit annoyed even though i understood she was just being a mam. according to the nurse i am to walk down the street with my house in view but my 1 of my sons has decided that he is coming with me, so i am cheating but tough. in answer to you question cecelia physically i feel fine, a bit tired but emotionally not brill. and i also get fed upsaying all the details and often whish i could think of other things as it does seem to hog your mind.
anyway thanks again,
lots of thoughts and hugs i send your way.
melaney xxx