Hi I am new to this and just finished my last chemo in January. This anxiety and fear of the future is so scary. I feel as if I am making no progress in fact I have felt worse. I am so low I am literally on the floor. I constantly worry about everything from job to driving to interacting with people to going to bed trying to sleep. I drive myself to distraction everyday and just wish this feeling would go away. I am under counseling which I find hard but at least I manage to get out of bed. I am so worried about going back to work and whether I am capable or not of doing my old job. I don’t really want to see anyone and have to force myself to do things.
So sorry to hear you feel like this but you are not on your own! I finished my chemo last June but still having herceptin. Around September I felt exactly the same, I had 3 sessions of councelling and found it quite helpful. I went to my GP for some water infection antibiotics and basically went to pieces! I could hardly talk to her through crying! I think for me it was an accumulation of it all that just came out at that time. my GP just looked at me and told me I would have to make another appointment for my mood! i left crying, and have not been back since! I found and still find when I get frightened to focus on the positives that i have been told which are Real!! my negative thoughts are things that I imagine, or make up… as I know these things could happen to me but I try to put these thoughts to one side and distract myself. Have you considered some anti depressants? These might just help you along,you will feel better as you move more away from your chemo, it’s a bit like post traumatic stress isn’t it! Time seems to be the key and the further forward you go the better you will feel. There are lot’s of lovely ladies on this site who all can relate to how you are feeling right now! I would never have thought I would be writing this back then and that’s only 6 months ago but I am stronger now and so will you be! xx
I am now a year down the line of diagnosis and to be honest have found the time after finishing treatment the hardest. I think you are in ‘fight’ mode whilst having chemo but once it finishes you kind of wilt, if you understand what I mean. I have found one of the hardest things is that everyone assumes all is well once treatment is finished. They don’t understand what you are still going through. I find I go through phases of not coping (present time being one of them). I have spent most of this morning fighting off tears just because I am having car trouble! Once life takes the tiniest detour off the norm for me I seem to be unable to cope. But on the positive side of things these times are getting fewer and far between. I have found it very frustrating at work as I have been making very silly mistakes which I wouldn’t normally make, but again these are getting fewer.
I think what I am trying to say is don’t be too hard on yourself. Go at your own pace and make it clear to everyone that all isn’t ok just because you have finished chemo, your body and mind are still recovering, trying to process, what has happened.
I have only recently joined this site but there seems to be alot of good advice available and take heart that you aren’t on your own xx
Hey debsstar,
I totally understand what you mean, I’ve been feeling like that since January aswell… My doc has decided to change my anti depressants and has said that she would like me to go to a counseling aswell… I start tomorrow with my antidepressants as I had to wean myself off the other ones first… Have you been to your doctor to see if they can help you ? I know some people don’t want to go down that route but I’m willing to take any help I can …like you I have been worried about going back to work as I know I’m not ready yet… I have days that I just want to stay in bed and be left alone, and don’t want to see people …I’m hoping that once these new antidepressants kick in I will start feeling better…don’t feel as though you are on your own as you are not, there is some lovely people on here for support and to chat to …