I just want to say that I’m worried about my daughter.

I’m on Herceptin at the moment and feel to be OK at moment, although blood tests show that I’m aneamic at moment and they don’t know why.

However my 29 year old daughter has been to the docs as she has found a lump. She had one 4 years ago which was nothing to worry about. I would probably not worry as much if I had not been diagnosed last June.

It does’t help that her husband has just left her and our 2 year old Grandson. She lives in Oxfordshire and we’re in Lancashire so we can’t just nip round.

Sorry to be dumping this on everyone but it makes me cry again when I think about it.

Marilyn x

Hi Marilyn,

Sorry to hear of your worries for your daughter. I know only too well how hard it is being a daughter who can’t ‘nip round’ to see my mum whenever I want. We live in Shropshire, my family live in Kent and OH’s family are in Newcastle!! Couldn’t be further apart if we tried! Anyway, when I first found my lump in March I found it hard being so far away and ended up driving all the way to Kent in a blind panic one day just so I could tell my mum. As it happens I’m glad I did as I went to the hosp the following monday and found out I had BC.

You mention that your daughter has already been to the docs, can I assume they have now referred to a breast clinic? I hope your daughters local hosp offers a ‘one-stop’ clinic, it is godsend not having the added stress of waiting for results.

Does your daughter have a good support network in Oxfordshire? Sounds like she is going through a very tough time at the moment and I’m sure you feel quite helpless being so far away. You need to make sure you take good care of yourself right now too, especially as you are still having the Herceptin.

I honestly don’t know what else to say to you Marilyn. I do feel for you as I know how my mum feels being so far away from me. I’m really hoping that your daughter has been referred to a specialist and that she will have her appt v.soon.

Take care and let us know how you are both doing,



My fingers are crossed that it will be nothing more than a benign lump like the last one. The majority of lumps are benign. I would agree that you are now worrying more due to your diagnosis.

My daugher aged 24 had a benign lump last July, thankfully ages before my BC - I know I would have been in a blind panic if I had been diagnosed first. At the time i was relatively calm as I have had stacks of good lumps - they run in the family and assumed my daughters would also be good, unfortunately the last one of mine wasn’t a good one so I joined this club!!!

try and stay strong and please let us know the outcome. Do you have long to wait for her appointment???

Thanks Kelyn & Kelly

Sarah only went to the docs on Tues so she should get a date sometime soon. I think that when she went last time it was a one stop clinic, so fingers crossed diagnosis won’t take long.

If they’ve broken up from school (teacher) she has a friend who can go to her appointment with her. Don’t think she has too many good friends down there. She was talking about giving her notice in and moving back North if her hubby didn’t decide whether or not he still loved her.

Sorry for moaning but I feel such a useless Mum at the moment.

Marilyn x


you feel free to ‘moan away’ at your hearts content. Please don’t apologise, I do most of my moaning on this site, don’t know where I’d be without it! Prob v.lonely as I would’ve pi**ed off everyone thats close to me! LOL.

Of course you feel like a ‘useless mum’ at the mo, but Sarah knows that you’re not and I’m sure that deepdown you know that too. Its only geography that is keeping you apart, not the fact that you don’t want to be with Sarah. My mum feels helpless v.often and says she wishes it were her going through it and not me. I don’t know what to say when she says things like that but I understand why she feels that way. Obviously your situation is different and you have the added worry as you have been through the mill yourself.

Not sure how well you get on with her hubby but sounds to me like he needs a good kick up the ar*e. It must be so hard for her, waiting while he decides whether he still loves her or not.

Try to stay strong while Sarah waits for her appt. You may not be able to be with her but I’m sure she is in no doubt how strongly you wish you were. Its good if her friend could go with her, just for some moral support,

Take care and you can always have a moan to us and we will always listen, albeit ‘virtually’,


Dear Marilyn,
I hope your daughter goes on ok , you sound like a lovely caring mum and your daughter will know how much you love her and support her even though you are not nearer her.
i am giving you a big HUG

Thanks everyone

Sarah hasn’t got appointment yet but she told men yesterday that hubby has decided he wants to come home. She’s making him wait until she tells him ‘yes’. I just hope that he’ll be supportive as she said he was useless when she was worried about me. Perhaps that maybe caused them problems.

I’ll let you know the outcome of her appointment.

Marilyn X