I’m so glad I missed this programme.
x
I thought when she got dx they sd she had a aggressive cancer I can’t remember now she obviously never had radiotherapy as I wasn’t allowed a recon when I had my mx because of radiotherapy it’s the same old saying it’s not what u know it’s who u know she prob only got what she wanted because of who she is lost for words
grrrrrrrrrrr. im 5 years down the line and i too saw this programme and i was incensed at the flippant way that breast cancer was dismissed as ONLY a year out of your life ! im still suffering severe side effects because of the treatments and lymphodemia sleeves are not pretty either .im in pain constantly from bones effected with osteoporosis from the treatments .how dare she be so off hand as she was ,if we all had a stars life style maybe we would also not mind losing a year out of our lives .!my life style has been altered drastically since diognosis and treatments and we have lost so many ladies from these forums too .maybe a protest to the programme and insitance on showing the other side of cancer for secondary ladies or would that be to upsetting for the public to hear about .
Don’t be too hard on her ladies. I don’t think she has had a walk in the park, lets face it none of us have. I too had an immediate recon and my BC was aggressive, sadly my rads have shrunk it quite significantly but that was a chance that I was willing to take.Sometimes what we show isn’t really always what we feel inside. I have always put a brave face on and it is only really my family that witness the terrified me. For everybody else I am “just fine”…it’s how people are.
Her and I share a mutual friend and she would be gutted if she was perceived to be flippant about the whole thing. It is a wretched disease which changes lives, I have met incredible people who despite the worst of prognosis put a brave face on. I lost a very dear friend last year and to hear her you would think she was nursing a cold not battling cancer.
I missed the interview (phew!) but read an interview with her in the Sunday papers when she was 1st diagnosed. The cancer was aggressive, her2+ and in alot of her nodes. Seems a little naive of her to think her brush with bc is now over just coz she’s finished active treatment (altho I naturally hope she is over it). This ‘one year out ur life’ comment perpetuates the stereotype that following bc treatment, we get the all clear and are cured etc etc! It’s also a shame that being so high profile, she didn’t promote more awareness instead of reinforcing the belief that bc is an ‘easy’ cancer, curable, less serious. Surely this sort of message will make people less likely to donate to bc charities + also less vigilant about checking breasts etc, since bc is ‘doable’ and just a year out ones life…
Even those lucky enough to make a full recovery are left physically scarred at the very least + many emotionall damaged too + living in fear for many years afterwards/ for life. And for those of us who get secondaries, her trivialising bc is Both thoughtless + insensitive.
She also talked in the initial interview about how bc won’t beat her, she’ll fight it, blah blah and that o.t.t. fighting talk always rubs me up the wrong way as it seems to suggests that those who don’t beat it haven’t fought hard enough. Whilst a positive attituse is important, it certainly won’t win the war against cancer…
just my views- as I say I’m glad I never saw it lol x
Agree entirely. Sally Webster (not sure of her real name) was on Alan Titchmarch today and she spoke very briefly about her BC. She was a lot more sensitive about it and just reinforced the importance of checking regularly and early diagnosis.
Suzanne x
Yes, I can see it from that point of view. In my own case I was very pleased if somebody told me I looked well, despite the rigours of what I was going through and I would say I was managing things as well as I could.
However, I also think that when you are in the public eye a bit of honesty goes a long way. I was never a fan of Kylie or her music, but I do respect her for being so truthful about the way she felt during her treatment, also the way she just quietly got on with it. When celebs come out with stuff like it being “just” a year out of your life, or in Trisha’s case running to rads sessions, I feel they are not being honest with themselves, never mind the people who listen to them on TV or read their interviews in the press. Hands up, I am guilty of thinking I could just pick up the threads after treatment as I have quite a strong personality; however, the post chemo psychological trauma was something I had not banked on and I had to seek counselling. It’s an emotive subject whichever way you look at it and getting the brain into gear before commenting when you are well known sometimes helps.
I think as cherub has said it’s quite different if you are in the public eye. If you choose to talk about your experience it might be more sensitive to acknowledge it’s not, for many, just a year out of your life. Perhaps for her it was, perhaps it was a hellish time and she doesn’t wish to disclose this. But to, as gingerbud has said, perpetuate the all clear myth etc is not helpful.
Breast cancer is going to finish me off eventually and my positive attitude gets me out of bed on a dark morning and helps me through bad times but it has no effect on my metastases. I’ve got to know and have lost some lovely, brave (although they would not have said they were brave) glass half full friends to breast cancer.
If it was down to ‘fighting it’ they would still be here. We here know this but the general public often don’t. So it’s sending out the wrong message. Not all ‘awareness’ is helpful.
I too hate the dismissive attitude of some slebs who have had bc and I have read through this thread and agree with the general consensus. It left me wondering why there is so much down playing.
Could it be( and this is just a suggestion) that in the past cancer was seen as an almost automatic death sentence, not spoken of and treated with great fear and dread. Therefore an effort to stop people looking at them as though they are already dead, these slebs underplay it. It’s an extreme reaction perhaps and is not helpful to us and the reality of our lives, but it is not that long ago the survival rates were a lot poorer and some people are still unaware that any form of cancer is not automatically terminal. So in response they make it sound like a blip in their lives.
just a thought.
( and i must admit i didnt see the interview )
Dx
Didn`t see the programme.
I too am incensed at the casual attitude some people choose to take towards what is one of the few incurable cancers. Breast Cancer can recur after more than 20 years of being disease free.A state of complacency is not a luxury any of us here can assume.
The ultimate goal is for each of us individually to try to live our lives with cancer to the full. How we all do this is different as we are all different with different disease and different histories of treatment and all its accompanying problems.
For me, I struggle with simply living day to day.My life will never be the same again.I could never be casual about the traumas of diagnosis, treatment and its long term and permanent side effects. And no,I am not a better nicer person for having cancer as my counsellor outrageously suggested. So, I struggle on feeling cast adrift - no monitoring and little confidence in my own ability to rationally sort out new serious symptoms from all the aches pains and lumps I have as a result of treatment.
Winnie, I agree with what you say about the “cancer made me a better person” stuff. I was already a good person before I had cancer - the disease just made me a different person. This came about as a combination of my experience and wanting to change certain aspects of my life to make it less stressful. There was no lightning bolt moment!
I didnt see it n i had mixed feelings about her last year.great she sported bauld head but didnt like the way she was saying it was easy.
However . I remember the nurse saying to me when i was dx ,this is a year out of ur life n i was sooooo annoyed , how dare somethink invade my life for that amount of time.so i thought n made a deal.it could have its year then my life was comming back.
Well that was the plan.it doesnt really leave u. Suppose we are all different. But i agree that someone else shold have been on shwing the flip side of how crap it can be
Hi ladies… i didn’t see it either but makes me so mad as… get this… it was a choice between Bernie Nolan or myself, Debbie and Julie( all been members on here for over 2 years now). We were approached by ITV to go on Lorraine as they saw our artical last week in Woman’s Own about BC, friendships and moving on. So mad they chose a celeb over us ‘real people’. I can assure you we wouldn’t of painted it as all pink and fluffy and ‘just a year out of your life’
oh forgot to say… 3 of my lovely BC friends, diagnosed just over 2 years ago, wouldnt say ‘it’s just a year out of their life’… they all lost their fight in the last year…
I couldn’t agree more with Belinda, I have secondaries and know that I will die from ‘breast cancer’. I try and remain positive (but I ain’t no saint!) but that is because it helps me psychologically to deal with the enormity of my situation. Being positive will have no effect upon my actual cancer and I grit my teeth a little when people say “You must stay positive!” - although I know they mean well - as if this attitude will have a bearing upon my illness. I strongly believe that I cannot control my cancer, but I can control how I react to it.
It’s always a bit disappointing at this time of year - with the second annual Secondary Breast Cancer Awareness Day looming - not to hear more from those living with secondaries and, in general, to hear more from members of the public who have been diagnosed with primary cancers. Celebrities always seem to approach the subject with such a gung ho spirit that it can often diminish those who are struggling physically and mentally with their condition.
Since my secondary diagnosis I concentrate on doing things which give me pleasure and spending time with people I love and care about. I’ve also started writing a blog which deals with the emotional issues that I have dealt with over the last 5 years, since my primary diagnosis. I pull no punches but, interestingly, the reaction from people who know me (close and more casual friends) has been overwhelmingly positive. It proves that you can be honest without scaring and alienating the entire world!
Anyway, minor rant over! Best wishes to you all.
Alison
drbaba.wordpress.com
didn’t see the programme as back at work BUT FFS ‘a year out of your life’. I was dx more than a year ago & had chemo & rads but my herceptin once every 3 weeks will continue until next June. Then and only then can I consider having a reconstruction to replace the breast they amputated. Apparently herceptin affects heart function so you can’t have anaesthetic while on it. I will be going into a 3rd year out of my life even assuming there is no recurrence in that time.
Nottsgal interesting you say that as I have just had both a SNB and a Mx and DIEP recon both under general anaesthetic and I am on Herceptin, I had the last one 3 weeks before my Mx and am told they will restart in a few weeks. I have 12 more Herceptins to go.
Hi
Some surgeons will operate while you are on herceptin and others won’t. It is up to the individual, but am led to believe more and more are happy to operate while you are on it, as long as you are healthy.
dx
does it mean you have to have a break from the herceptin though while you have the surgery? and is having a break risky? Thanks
I don’t think a break is too risky - sometimes they have to suspend Herceptin treatment if your heart test is below the required score. When the heart function comes back up again they restart the treatment. The nurses who did my Herceptin said it keeps working for a while after you’ve had the 13 doses. Radiotherapy is the same, it keeps on working after you’ve finished the treatment.