Hi Kate after trying to get an appointment on Monday the receptionist said I had to wait for a week to see my doctor who has been very good with me. She doesn’t seem to know that it’s an ordeal to go and see any doctor if you think like i do, I just want to run away. I phoned my BCN up and I had to go back to City Hospital yesterday, instead of my doctors which could have done the same thing. I thought i had seen the back of that place till next year, they said I had some kind of infection and I have to take another lot of painkillers for my arm. I like to chat to you as well we seem to have both gone through the mill don’t we. I hope you are feeling a little bit better, one day you do then the next you feel like rubbish and you wish you could wake up and think it’s all been a dream. Take care I’ll send you a big hug Lindalou

Hi Lindalou, Sorry to hear about your ordeal, I hope the painkillers are working and try to take it easy. You wonder when is this all going to go away, as you say family think you should be feeling on top of the world by now. My world feels as if has been turned upside down. I have an appointment with the radiotherapy dept on Wed 15th, I don’t know when I will start the treatment.
I do feel guilty when you read the forum and realize that some of the ladies are in such a bad way. I think we are still in shock , and I know I worry what if it comes back, do you feel that some times.I am still looking at good places to run away to but I havent found it yet. I hope you will feel better soon and take it easy. Hugs Kate

Hi kate I am taking my painkillers and it isn’t as painful now but like you feel like your world has turned upside down and I know that everybody thinks that you should be feeling on top of the world by now but I don’t. I feel like I cannot move forward from this, even now I keep thinking it could come back, I know the other ladies seem very poorly as well but it doesn’t make it any easier does it. My family think I am okay now, it is good to talk to you because we are both in the same boat, but you seem to be having it a bit rougher than me, and you understand. I still cannot talk to anybody about it all. I hope you are feeling a bit better, but I understand that you cannot help it either I’ll send you a hug and take care lindalou

Hi Lindalou, Glad to hear that the painkillers are working, it’s pity they cant give pills to make all the worry go away. Are you able to go back to work this month? One day hopefully we can move on and not think about it every day. I dont think it helps with the media coverage of poor Jade Goody, it was on the TV every other night.
I am trying to make myself go out for a walk and go shopping again. Do you still have an appointment with your GP this week?
Hugs and take care,

Hi Kate I am not sure whether or not I can go back to work yet, I don’t know about you but i feel exhausted all the time. Went back to docs today and he said it has been traumatic for me and i don’t seem able to move on. I know it is for everybody. How are you feeling Kate? My doctor mentioned to ask my boss for a few hours at a time, I only do sixteen a week, but that feels like a milestone at the moment. I seem to want to hide away from everybody. Can you talk about it yet to your family or is it making you feel like you don’t want to acknowledge it yet. I couldn’t even look at the books about it all till after my op Take care hugs lindalou

Hi Lindalou, I do feel exhausted somedays and other days I seem to be able to manage to go for a walk. Yesterday I was exhausted and was feeling unwell but I am ok today.Maybe you should have a couple more weeks of work. Are you feeling nervous of meeting people again at work. I don’t speak about it very much to the family. Some parts of the country have drop in centres for people dealing with all aspects of cancer, it something I was maybe going to do as they have a understanding of how people are feeling. Hugs Katex

Hi Kate How are you feeling are you getting all wound up over your Radiotherapy date getting nearer. I have been in to see them at work and it made me feel a bit better as they was all pleased to see me. I am going back in May as I think I need an extra couple of weeks off so I should be okay then. The Manager and the staff made me feel important, they said I looked better and they said i could get back to doing a few less hours so I am looking forward to going back and my Doc said it would be good for me. I still cannot discuss it all with my family, even though I wouldn’t have got through all this without their help. I enjoy chatting to you, but i still feel like I don’t want to see anybody I know, I don’t know why I just want to forget it all. Well I hope you are feeling a bit better and I will be thinking of you next week hugs Lindalou

Hi Lindalou.
Thats good news about your work being so understanding. I think your right to take a few extra weeks before going back, you have been through a lot. I want and don’t want at the same time to start the Radiotheraphy but the sooner I start the sooner it will be all over with. Your right we could not have got through this without the family help. I think we would like to erase the last couple of months from our memory. You have taken a big step by going and meeting the Manager and staff again. WELL DONE. I hope you get lots of chocolate eggs this weekend. Hugs Kate

Hi Kate sorry I have not answered in the past few days as I have not felt very well. Probably a bug or something. I hope you are feeling a bit better it ia getting nearer now but as you say the sooner the better. I hope everything goes alright for you. Well the staff was so pleased to see me and that’s made me feel a lot better about going back, They asked a few questions about it all and they said how ill I looked at xmas,I thought I was going mad I still do sometimes. Like you I would like to forget about it all, I still don’t want to see anybody and have to answer all the questions to anyone. Well you take care and I will be thinking of you hugs lindalou did you get lots of eggs I didn’t get one.

Hi Lindalou, I hope your feeling a little better today.I am going tomorrow to see about my radiotheraphy,but I don’t know when it will start. No I never got a choc egg either maybe it’s just as well as I seem to be eating for comfort just now and then I seem to go of my food.I was just looking at my appt card and notice that it’s at the cancer dept. I don’t know about you but the very word cancer makes me feel sick. I know we don’t have cancer anymore but I still can’t get it out my head. Still it’s good to be able to chat with you and get things of my chest… Take care hugs Kate

Hi Kate I will be thinking of you tomorrow so I hope everything goes okay, Are you thinking like me the sooner the better. I think like you that we don’t have cancer anymore but we still dread the word, I don’t know about you even the hospital makes me feel ill. I feel like I am in a nightmare and I will wake up and think it has all been a dream (if only) I haven’t got much appetite either. Last year had started off terrible for me, as I got told on the 31st December 2008 that i would need a operation. This year has started off with having a lot of tests and you know the rest. Well good luck for tomorrow, lots of hugs Lindalou

Hi Lindalou, I have to start rads in the next few weeks.Yes going to the hospital is a nightmare it brings it all back. I just wish it was all over with. Did they tell you what grade you had. I had grade 2 but no invasive cancer, thank god. What a start to the new year you had being told you had DCIS.I hope you have got over the bug you had last week.Hugs Kate

Hi Kate I think it’s all the worry over the past few months and can’t believe it has happened. They didn’t tell me what grade I had, they just said I don’t need any further treatment till i go for my next mamogram in the new year. I still feel like it will come back do you? I was low yesterday it all got a bit too much for me, I am looking forward to going back, but worrying if one or two of them get a bit horrid to me as I had that all last year starting from Feb 2008 till xmas, but if there is any good to come out of this, I know I cannot put up with anymore. Do you feel any better now you have got the news about your radiotherapy. It must still be traumatic for you I hope you will feel a bit better when you have been,Yes It has been rough for us I knew 31st December 2008 that i would need an op and it has felt like a nightmare ever since take care hugs lindalou

Hi LIndalou, I do worry that the cancer may come back or that there is still some floating around.I am sure with time it will settle down and we will start living again. I don’t think we will forget all about it will always be there in the background. You are right not to worry about people being horrid after what you been through.The most important thing is your wellbeing. I am worried about Radiotheraphy but I have to get it done.I hope you are feeling a little bit better than yesterday. Take care hugs Kate

Hi kate I can understand that you are worried about it, as you still have to have treatment. I hope you are feeling a bit better but that will come when it is all finished. It is better to have someone to chat to I feel like I have been to hell and back. I will be glad when the fears all go away, but I don’t know about you but i never thought i would get this, did you ? I don’t think we will ever forget it as it has been so painful. Do you have any children at all to be able to talk to, I have two daughters and i mentioned to them how nice you are but I don’t yet feel like I can talk to them as it is still too painful for me take care hugs Lindalou

Hi Lindalou, No I never thought I would happen to me. I don’t know about you but I still think they made a mistake I have a son and a daughter I tell them I am fine and not to worry, but as you say the fear remains. It good to chat to someone who understands. I told my husband I chat to you and how it helps. I have to go on the 1st may for my pre radiotheraphy appt, and the treatment starts on 18th may for 5 weeks. Have you got over the bug you had last week? Take care hugs Kate

Hi Kate Hope you are feeling a bit better, I seem to feel like you do. I tell my husband, mum and daughters that I talk to you but I cannot talk to them. I know my mum and sister have been great and my husband and my daughters, I don’t go down town, in case I see my relations and find that I could not cope with them. I have a lovely grandson and he cheers me up alot I also have two other grandchildren. I am also worrying about going back to work in case I find it too much. I don’t know about you but i feel exhausted and tired all the time. I still think it hasn’t happened to me do you ? How are you coping with it all. take care hugs lindalou

Hi Lindalou, I don’t know if you have seen the new posting in the DCIS forum, looking to start a DCIS support group. When you are dx with DCIS, the docs + cons make you feel that it will be cured and you should just get on with it. But it’s cancer… and easier said and done to move on, as we know.
I was out with my grandchildren today. I have 3, 1 boy and 2 girls.they are great fun to be and they think i have just been in hospital and are ok now,so no questions asked. Have you been back to your doctor to explain how you are feeling about going back to work. I now worried about radiotherpy now it’s getting closer. Still I will have to get on with it. Take care & hugs Kate

Hi Kate yes i have just seen it about a new forum about DCIS group, I am interested in it are you? My close family still tell me it’s not going to come back but when you have been through what we have you are not sure, as they don’t know do they probably trying to put my mind at rest. I don’t know about you but when I see my new Grandson Arthur he makes me forget all about things for a bit, they are good for taking your mind of everything even for an hour or two. I have got my nurse coming Tuesday to see if I am okay but I am beginning to worry now about how awful some them were before to me. I can understand how you feel as it’s a lot more treatment for you. I hope you are feeling a bit better and I will be thinking of you when does it start, will you let me know how you are. Take care & hugs Lindalou

Hi Lindalou, How did you get with your nurse. I had to go to the doctors yesterday as I have a bad chest infection, got a weeks course of antibiotics. I think we feel really run down and tired since being dx with DCIS. I know I have to get better for starting radiotherpy. Family think they are helping us by saying it’s not going to come back, but we worry about it. There has been some reports in the media saying that they should not treat DCIS as only 30% go on to have invasive cancer, but that almost one in three. I don’t think I would like to know that I had DCIS and it might or might not become invasive, it’s bad enough knowing you had it removed.
I hope the nurse is more understanding this time. I think the DSIC support group would be good. Take care &hugs Kate