Hi
Went to see surgeon today and discuss surgery options and I must say how much better I feel just by deciding on what I’m having done.
We initially thought I would have a lumpectomy with reconstruction, but now he has examined me he feels I would benefit from a matectomy. The reason being, my breasts are so small that he would be taking nearly half away with a lumpectomy so we have opted for a skin sparing matectomy with a lat dorsi flap reconstruction and silicone implant. Also the other breast will get an implant to match. So out of all this i’m getting a bigger pair of boobs, at least that gives me something else to focus on. Might sound weird, but if it helps me get through this ordeal then why not.
I’ve also decided to go ahead with the surgeons advice to have total node clearance, mainly because I want to have immediate reconstruction and to limit the operations that I would need.
Hopefully, when I have surgery and they check the nodes they are clear, if thats the case I shouldn’t need chemo, but I’m going to look at the worst case scenario that it might have spread to them and if it has I will have prepared myself, and if not then that will be a bonus.
They have told me that I will need to take Tamoxifen as the cancer is ER positive, so I now need to read up on that.
If anyone has had the procedure that i’m having, I would love to hear how you felt about it and give me some idea what to expect.
Thanks ladies
Debs
xx
Hi Debs
Reading your posting sounds very similar to me except that I am not going to have an implant because I don’t need one. My boobs are not very big anyway so to have an implant in them would probably make me topple over. I have been advised to have a mastectomy because my cancer is lobular. Is anyone else as possessive of their bc I seem to be letting every one know that it is mine and not theirs!!! Am I the only weird controlling one out there???
I too am having the LD flap and total node clearance with skin sparing and hopefully nipple sparing also which is giving me some consolation that I may still have a certain degree of normality with my appearance. I don’t mean to offend anyone that hasn’t had this procedure done. It is just what feels right for me. I am having immediate reconstruction also and have just received my proposed date for surgery which I am looking forward to if you can look forward to it.
I too will have to take Tamoxifen as have been told that my bc is ER and PR positive but there is loads of information out there on that and have already read about it. You sound like you too want as much information as is possible which is helping me get my head around a lot of things.
One other difference is that my doc says I probably will have chemo due to my age I’m only 35 and also rads because she is doing skin sparing. Has this been mentioned to you.
I know it sounds silly but something that is worrying me and people will probably say I’m quite vain. I have already acknowledged that I’m weird but the idea that I may put on weight with both chemo and hormone therapy afterwards. I have just lost slightly over 1 stone through weight watchers just before being diagnosed and am worried that all that hard work will be wasted when I could have enjoyed my chocolate chip cookies from tescos regardlessly. My hair loss is also something which is concerning me as I’m known for my hair as it naturally curly and quite long which is my pride and joy. Sometimes I feel that all these side affects will happen but for others and not me so at the minute I’m living with my head in the sand somewhat just until it happens.
I would just like to acknowledge that it is definitely a bonus to me to have this forum even though I don’t always post I read daily almost religiously and sometimes even 4-5 times daily just to have regular updates.
I’ve never used the old forum but like this one and would just like to say thanks for providing us with this service.
Wendy
Hi Wendy
It was nice to read your msg as your going through such a similar procedure to me and it also sounds like you are feeling very much the same as me too. You are certainly not weird, you sound like you still have your sense of humour which I feel is important to help us through it.
I feel quite controlling at the moment, but maybe I am anyway lol.
When are you having your surgery Wendy? I haven’t been told yet but know it won’t be until 3-4 weeks which is going to drive me insane.
I will be losing my nipple with my surgery that might be why I wont be having rads. The chemo thing is worrying me abit thou as I’m only 38 which they have said is young. I will need to ask more about that, I don’t want to be left out, I want everything thrown at this BC. How weird does that sound then!
In regard to putting on weight, I am the opposite in the fact I have lost 1 stone already and look desperately underweight.
It has been very embarrassing sat there with no clothes on top, ribs and stuff sticking out, i’m sure the nurses etc think i’m one of those women who want to be a size 0. Nothing of the sort, can’t wait to get my j-lo bum back.
The hair thing bothers me. You are not being vain in worrying about your appearance, especially your hair. Your hair is one of the main things that makes a woman feel good or bad about themselves. I have heard about a cold cap you wear when having chemo, don’t know how successful it is, but might be worth asking about later.
I have already looked at the wigs in preparation, my hair is already falling out now with the stress of it all.
Anyway, I’m so glad i’m not the only “weird” one, as I can’t wait for my operation. I know it will be so painful postop but i’m prepared for any pain as long as they get it all out.
I agree, this site is fantastic. I have to keep throwing my husband and 13 year old off the computer to keep reading more msgs. My family are hugely supportive but its just not the same as talking to someone who is going through the same thing as you.
Take care Wendy
Debs
xx
Hi debs & wendy,
I was diagnosed in Mar, age 34, and a week after diagnosis I had a right mastectomy and total axillary clearance. Having a mastectomy at such a ‘young’ age really terrified me, prob just as much as havin bc! Also, I was not able to have an immediate recon due to further treatment. Prior to my op my boyfriend and I looked up ‘post mastectomy’ pictures on the internet so we could ‘prepare’ ourselves. Also, I ordered the ‘exercises after breast surgery’ booklet from this website and took it into hosp with me, its awesome and compliments the exercises the physios give you nicely.
Before my mastectomy I was really worried about 2 things, how I would look and how much pain I would be in post-op. I really needn’t have worried on either score! The site was covered by a very narrow dressing and when this was changed the second time I plucked up the courage to have a look! I was amazed at how neat and small the scar was, it really wasn’t anywhere near as horrifying as I thought it would be and I didn’t look like a ‘freak’ as I had imagined I would. Painwise I was managing v.comfortably on good old paracetamol during the day pretty much from day 1. I had 2 drains in and the only probs I had was when I would forget they were there and go wandering off without them, ouch!!!
My tumour was grade3, 4 cm, hormone receptive and 25/28 nodes were affected. I have since found out it is also HER2+. I started chemo on May 14th, there are many and I am having one called E-CMF. I was told by my surgeon that because of my age, regardless of node involvement I would prob be given chemo anyway. So far I have finished my 4 cycles of Epi and have just had 1 complete cycle of CMF. Only 3 to go, hurrah!!! That takes me through to mid oct, after which I will have rads, then hormones and Herceptin. Phew!!!
Beforehand I was seriously shit**ng myself about having chemo and the first thing I asked my bc nurse was ‘will I lose my hair?’. Shallow maybe but she said that every woman worries about losing thier hair. I cried when she said I would!! I had v.long hair at the time of diagnosis and was advised to defo get it cut pre-chemo otherwise it would be v.painful when it came out. I actually ended up getting it cut short a couple of days before my op, couldn’t be bothered with straighteners and scrunchies in hosp!! My boyfriend then shaved it all off for me the day I got home from my first chemo. I wanted to take some ‘control’ of the situation. It didn’t actually come out til after my 2nd treatment and I knew it was gonna happen as my scalp got v.v.sore. I cried buckets when it came out, I was gutted!! I’m pleased to say this feeling didn’t last and I’m now totally used to my baldie head!!! My hair has started to grow back since I’ve changed to the CMF! I have 2 lovely wigs but personally much prefer my head scarves, particularly in the warm weather. Check out www.headcovers.com, its an awesome site and delivery is v.quick considering it comes from the states. FYI, although I’ve lost ALL my body hair my eyebrows and eyelashes have remained intact! Admittedly they are thinner but they’re still hanging on so thats the main thing!
I wish you both well for your ops and future treatment. If you need to know anything more at all or just wanna rant and rave then feel free to holler,
Take care,
Kelly
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Thank you Kelly for all your advice about such alot of issues.
You are such a lovely lady and i’m sure your msgs that I notice you send everyone really helps everybody, they certainly help me.
You have gone through so much already yourself and still a way to go if your treatment takes you through to at least mid Oct.
Have you always coped with this dreadful situation well? You seem to have a very positive attitude to everything and I really admire you for that.
I have a great big long list of booklets to order, I might as well just say send a lorry load round as I like to read about everything and be well prepared, so I shall defo be getting the one you suggested ‘exercises after breast surgery’.
I forgot also about the fact that you could lose eyelashes and eyebrows as well as your hair, so must remember to stock up on falsies just incase. Like I said previously thou, my surgeon said if it hasn’t spread to my lumphs then I may not need chemo, so I need to ask about that again when I next see him.
I’m having a good day today, I went back to work first time since being diagnosed last wed. I tried to go yesterday and got all ready and then started having a panic attack when it was time to leave (and thats with anxiety tablets). Anyway, everybody who knows at work (a small selection of people), were really pleased to see me and very supportive so I felt really good.
I’m also having a few nights out with friends over the next 2 weeks, trying to be as normal as possible until I go in for surgery, so look forward to that.
Its weird how one day your really negative, like yesterday kept looking at secondary cancer stuff and scaring myself and thinking I would never be able to get through this and then today totally different. Are you like this?
Thanks for taking the time to send a msg Kelly.
Debs
xxx
Hi Debs,
rest assured I’m my own worst enemy most of the time!! Every little ache and pain is a secondary according to me. I have a lot of ‘down’ days but thankfully have many more ‘up’ days. Sometimes I cope with bc and everything it brings v.well but other times I just feel like I’m falling apart. To be honest I’ve recently booked myself in for some counselling through my local support centre. I was starting to struggle with the ‘mental’ side of all this horrid treatment, more so than the illness itself. I didn’t want to let it get to the stage where I actually became depressed so thought it best to get some professional help and so hopefully nip it in the bud.
Now that I’m well into my treatment I’m defo feeling much more positive about things. I feel that everything that can be done IS being done and its a great comfort. Occasionally I’ll have the inevitable thoughts about what if it doesn’t work and what if it comes back, but I guess everyone has days like that, even the lovely Kylie!!
I’m glad you’re having a good day today and good on 'ya for going back to work. There was so little time between my diagnosis and masctectomy that I wasn’t able to go back to work, and I actually haven’t worked since. I’m in the RAF and they have been v.v.supportive. I’m in regular contact with all my work colleagues and they usually enjoy nothing more than coming round to mine in the evening with wine for a good b*tch about work! Apparently there’s all sorts of sh*t going on at the mo and I’m best off out of it! Its nice that your colleagues were so pleased to see you, mine treat me like the queen when I pop in!!!
Have an awesome time when you go out for your nights out with your mates. I made sure I had a great weekend before my op and another good one pre-chemo. Get suitably drunk and have a fab time!
Take care and keep in touch,
Kelly
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