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Hi babychops1982
I’m sorry to read that you are having a pretty tough time at the moment. I’m sure the users of this site will be along to support you soon.
In the meantime maybe you would like to talk things through with a member of our helpline staff who are there to offer emotional support as well as practical information. The free phone number is 0808 800 6000 and the lines are open Monday to Friday 9.00 to 5.00 and Saturday 10.00 to 2.00.
Best wishes Sam, BCC Facilitator
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Hi…I am not a medical person but…and I know your onc is…I have had BC and am now recovering and I have a daughter your age and this is what I would tell her…the future is not written yet…it’s a list of pros and cons…this latest dx has ben dealt with…you can have more treatment…she cannot say your cancer will return…she hasn’t got a crystal ball…it may return…it may not… try hard to get rid of the thought that it will return in an organ…positivity is key in this crappy journey we are on or have been on…I suspect…you only heard negative things…I do that myself and have to take apart what my onc has said…you say you are newly married so this should give you a fighting strength…I also suspect that she told you the facts as she sees them…please remember…all medical people have to stay impartial…whatever they say or hear…they are still human beings and if they took to heart everything in their work day they would not be able to function…no one can see the future…stay as positive as you can…enjoy every day…there are lots of positive and inspiring ladies on this site…I am sure some of them will be along soon…chin up and fight every step…you are only a young woman and I’m sure you have lots of time left in you yet…massive hugs…apple
PS…phone the helpline above…they are wonderful…
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Hi,
i am not in your situation, I have a friend who is her+ and er- major lymph nodes infected and still here 10 years later. I would ask for a second opinion, there must be more they can do for you. I know its really hard to try and stay positive but try and use your energy and strength to research your best options, hopefully somebody with more knowledge will be along later. in the meantime sending you a big hug and wishing you luck with your situation. Nobody knows how long any one of us have left, drs have been wrong before, xxx
Hi babychops,
I could have cried reading your post. I agree with apple and gordok1, no one knows the future you might not get a recurrence and if you did i believe there are new drugs around for secondary HER2 breast cancer. Have a look at the HER2 support group, it has a lot of information and stories, just google it and you will find it. I wish you all the best, and doctors are not always right, my first lump was dismissed as nothing by the surgeon but he was wrong Also my sister had healthy tissue removed instead of a cancerous lump and she sued the NHS and campaigned for everyone with a breast lump to have the triple assessment.
look after yourself x
but it might not return again…who can say?its returned in an area that can be treated…how can ANYONE say about major organs? ok it came back quick but maybe a tiny cell didnt get killed off but this time it will be and you may live on with out it appearing again.like she said prove her wrong.x
Hi Babychops
When I saw your posts I just thought I have to reply back. I hope you don’t mind this rambling post. You sound so upset and that’s not surprising, given the way you have been spoken to (rather shabbily if you ask me!). Dealing with any BC diagnosis is difficult and then to get a recurrence is another blow on top. But I am surprised at how negative your oncologist seems to be.
They don’t always get things right. No-one knows what will happen. My sister was diagnosed with a very rare and aggressive form of ovarian cancer 12 years ago at the age of 27. Her son was one year old at the time.She had her left ovary and tube removed and heavy duty dose-dense chemo… She was assigned a Macmillan nurse and told after chemo all they could offer was pallative care and she wouldn’t make it to see her son to his second birthday. And she obviously would not have any more children. Well 12 years on she is still here - she is fit and healthy and has had two more children since. She proved them wrong and she is my inspiration to get better.
When I was diagnosed last July, I asked for my prognosis straight away (I am young with young children and I have had experience of other family members with cancer.) I wanted to know exactly where I stood and how much time I had in case I needed to make provision for my children. Having been through the experience of supporting my sister, I was well aware of “worst-case scenarios”. However, my consultant was very hesitant to give me any prognosis - he just said its uncertain and they were going to treat me as aggressivley as possible. I am Grade 3ER +, HER - and it had spread to the lymph nodes. I had primary chemo - my tumour did not shrink (it didn’t grow either - so I suppose that’s something!) - for 5 months until December last year. I had full node clearance + two WLE’s which did not achieve clear margins and am now recovering from a mastectomy and DIEP recon (which did not go smoothly - I ended up having x 4 ops in two days - 3 emergency ops and I also crashed on the table!). On paper my diagnosis looked “bog-standard”. Nothing has gone smoothly and I still don’t know if we have got it all - I am waiting for the path results. No one could have predicted what would happen to me 12 months down the line. But I am still here and I intend to keep fighting. I am too stubborn and argumentative not to!
When I started on chemo, the first oncologist said it wasn’t that aggressive and not to worry. A few months later, another oncologist painted a rather different picture. However, no one has said I can either be “cured” or that I am not going to make it. Even now, all my consultant will say is “It’s uncertain. We cannot guarantee anything. We just have to throw the book at you and hope it sticks.” I am of the understanding that they have to offer all treatments that they can to you. So I don’t understand why your oncologist is being so negaive?
I know its hard to stay positive. Believe me. I have found being positive is harder than being angry. I have been angry at the stupid flipping cancer and have decided that no matter what I am going to fight the darn thing. I have young children and I am determined to see them grow up. You are newly married and you have to fight this for you and your hubby for your future together. There are new treatments and regimes which are becoming available all the time. I am sure there is a new wonder drug which is being licensed called Perjeta (here is the link from the Telegraph - telegraph.co.uk/health/healthnews/9927543/Breast-cancer-drug-biggest-boost-since-Herceptin.html) >
I am not sure if it is part of a clinical trial but I would push for info on either this or other treatments and see if you can be put on a trial. (My onc did want to put me on the Artemis trial but becuase I also had an unstable Thyroid problem at the same time as my initial diagnosis I couldn’t go on the trial. He said that these trials can give good results). You are definitely entitled to a second opinion. See if you can get some advice from Macmillan or your GP about this.
NO-ONE can predict what will happen. I am so sorry to hear that your onc has not been very supportive. Mum’s do take it hard. My mum was devastated to hear my diganosis - she had to deal with my little sister and then a few years down the line - whammy I get diagnosed. If your Mum is struggling to support you can you take someone else with you - a friend or another relative? You need someone positive on your side who wil kick butt on your behalf!
Everyone should be offered the most appropriate, suitable and best treatment that is available - no matter what. Look at my sister - she is still here and has confounded everyone. Try to stay strong and positive. I hope you get some answers - please let us know how you get on. And keep posting - there are some very knowledgable ladies on here who I am sure can give you better advice than me. My motto - kick the cancer in the you know where!. Try to stay strong - and get angry. That has helped me! Em x
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Glad you now have a plan 
I think the comment was the last thing you wanted to hear, hope the house move goes well x
Hi Babychops. Been following your post. It’s great news they removed all the cancer and that your onc was more positve. Just wanted to wish you all the best with your treatment. And no! you’re not over sensitive, other people are just insensitive! Xx
Keep going - think forward and you will faind the way how to get happy. Just a little bit and you will be over mountain. I have friend who is living with bone mets for years (at least 7 years). She faund her own way how to keep going because Good blessed her with daughter - not her own blood daughter but does no matter. She is happy and mets are how they are for long time. They did not grow any more. Sorry for language - Iam not English.
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HI Babychops. Hope your move went well. Glad things are looking a bit more positive for you. I know you will worry though - we all do. My consultant saw me last week and told me everything was out (although I trust him, I still don’t believe him!), but its good news that your oncologist is being more positive for you and has put you on a treatment plan.
Some people really don’t have a clue about what to say, or how cancer affects us (there is a great thread on here - “stupid things that non-cancer people say” which is always good for a laugh). Someone said to me the other day “I don’t know what all the fuss is about Breast Cancer - Look at Angelina Jolie - she had cancer and she is all better and living a normal life and she worked and everything and she looks amazing” Bah - I nearly whacked them - No 1 -she didn’t have cancer in the first place (so no flipping chemo!!!) and No 2 she looks great because she can afford the best plastic surgeon in the flipping world. and No 3 she has personal assistants to do EVERYTHING!!! GGGRRR some people!!!
I am loving the hair in your profile pic by the way. I have just put some dodgy red dye on the scrub wasteland that is my hair now post chemo - not a good look!
Take care and hope all continues to go positively for you.
Em x