I am sure I cant be the only person depressed with having bc. I was doing fine but have now plummeted with the fear that it has spread. I had it in one node but now I’m putting every ache and pain down to secondaries. I would love to hear from anyone else who is going through the same mental angst.
Julia xx
Hi Julia,
Yep I’m a bit wobbly too!!! put up well with treatment and dealing with the “sick” part of things, but now I’m back to work and trying to get on with things that I find I get quite down and emotional about everything!! I too worry about recurrence… and suppose I will for a while. We do get lots of aches and pains don’t we? more so than I used to and was never one for the doctors… You’re definately not the only one feeling the way you do. I hope you find a way of coping with it all…this seems to be the next hurdle…
Best wishes
Fiona xxx
Julia…You are not alone!!! Fiona yes, I’ve been doing the “I’m coping fine” thing & suddenly feel totally weepy & isolated.
I suspect all of us go through a period of depression at some point in this illness. Either at the start, in reaction to the diagnosis, or later as we are expected to cope with so called normality.I had an episode of severe depression 7 years ago (divorce)& never want to go that far down the road again.I work in Mental Health & almost feel I SHOULD cope because of what I know.
My thoughts would be talk about how you feel to those you feel can support (some simply cannot),use this site where we can all empathise,but dont be afraid to discuss it with your G.P.Anti depressants are EXCELLENT nowadays but access to Talking Therapies is also much better than it was.Do drop me a line any time…
G x
I have had depression all of my adult life. It had been quite stable before bc but has come back really badly after treatment and a sudden bereavement. I have a thread going about depression after treatment (will it ever end?) so have a read if you want to. I am over a year after treatment and on antidepressants but these no longer work so having input from the mental health team. My main stres is my job. I have gone sick whcih has cerainly helped me mentally but not so much on the finance side of things. I think we all live with that fear that the cancer has come back especially on bad days when I can convince myself it has come back. There are so many of us going through the hell that is depression.
rachy xx
Thanks everyone for your comments. I too have had severe depression since i was 14. My last serious episode was in 2001, when I got married. As I’m now divorced, that may explain it! I’m just at the beginning of treatment. I’ve had lumpectomy and lymph node clearance but now need ct and bone scan. The results of these, which I should know this Friday, are what have set me off. I have been commenced on antidepressants but know I have a 2 wk wait for them to kick in. I doesn’t help that I’m a Nurse, as I have quite a lot of insight which I think makes me panic more. Ignorance can be bliss, tho it wont change what happens.
Julia xx
Hi rancidtart, just wanted to send you virtual hugs for Friday and I have everything crossed that you get a good result. 
Chris x
Hi Julia,
I have suffered with depression a couple of times during my adult life. Most of these have been work-related or postnatal depression after both my kids were born. I was feeling great at having not been depressed since about 2003 when I was dx at the end of July.
I plummeted very rapidly into a very scary place which I felt was unendurable. I sought help from my GP and was put on Citalopram. This worked well after the 2 week delay, but then I read that some anti-depressants can compromise the efficacy of Tamoxifen, so I asked to change to Venlafaxine, which in all the studies I read was named as the one which does not have this effect.Which Anti- depressant are you on ?
I currrently feel much much better as I am past the stage of waiting for results etc. and have just finished radiotherapy. Today I was seeing a dietician/medical herbalist. She was great; it ended up more like a counselling session. She seemed like a very wise lady and said she felt I would probably be ok now depression/anxiety-wise, as I had been so bad I had probably worked most of it through my system in the early days. Other women take dx and treatment more in their stride and then become depressed when active treatment ends (the stage I’m at now).This is similar to what Grace59 is saying.
We are all different and there is no “right” way to get through this. Just go with it in the way that feels the most ok for you. The waiting parts are the pits and you will feel better when you know what’s what. Also when your anti-depressants kick in !
To help with feeling low,I try to think of something that has brought me joy each day and to relive it at bedtime.Also to make short term plans to do things I will enjoy so that I have something to look forward to.I have addressed my lifestyle/diet and that has hepled me in that I feel I am proactivley doing something to reduce the risk of cancer returning. It has also given me something else to focus on ( shopping in different places, trying new foods/recipes etc.)
Hope I haven’t rambled on too much and added boredom to your depression !!
I do hope everything goes well when you get your results.
Thinking of you,
Love and hugs
Anna xxx
hi julia
i was prescribed ADs (sertraline) in june following surgery and while waiting for chemo… i had previously had BC so this was a new primary and a more aggressive one and just came as such a shock to me.
the ADs def have helped over the last few months.
i am a nurse too and i think that makes me wanna research things but when your down even positives can seem like negatives… emotionally feeling a lot better now but knackered from chemo and still have my flat and down days.
when i had BC the first time i felt really down after treatment too and was seen by the oncology psychologist who helped me get my head round things… i really worried about every ache or pain for a while… i think when you have a sore back, headache or a pain in your knee or what ever before cancer you just think oh iv pulled a muscle, got a migraine, bumped my knee, now you start thinking recurrence… its only natural to have these worries however they do lessen a bit in time…
and some people iv spoken to it does completely go away but when i got my new primary it was only 3 years later so never quite made it to the not worried at all stage… however there was no aches or pains as i was diagnosed purely on mammo.
Lxx
Thanks everyone
Annalou, I am taking citalopram, but I know that venlafaxine is supposed to be very good. After reading some posts on here, i’ve got round to thinking that if its spread then so be it. Its treatable if not curable. The problem is the discomfort i have in the liver region, which came on a couple of months before i was diagnosed. It may be nothing, but if it is spread, at least i wont be too shocked!
Julia xx
Julia,
I would be just the same…but there’s every chance it won’t have spread.
I really hope you get good news on Friday.
Love
Anna x
Wow what a wonderful range of experience & advice we can offer each other. In my experience Citalapram is good, just need to get the dosage right & ignore anyone who insists you must come off it sometime…On a low dose there is no need to withdraw.
Julia I’m not surprised your current place has made you feel down.Lots of luck for friday but you sound like youre ready to face whatever you might have to.A friend of mine has liver & bone cancer (primary in bowel)which as you say have been very treatable.
I note several of you have been seeing Oncology Psychs…Anyone receiving regular counselling or CBT?
Love to all
Grace x
hi there
its good youve all found a place to share your experience of deppression, nobody knows what its like until youve been through it.
i have been through it twice prior to breast cancer, and in one way it prepared me for the bad days. but deppression(well mine anyway,) doesnt seem to be able to be stopped, i find learning to manage it is the best way. i did several ccgnetive behaviour courses, and self esteem, and other courses, and found them useful. there was a good lady from the usa who had worked in that field, who had also been a sufferer and her advice is brilliant, i dont know if im allowed to recommend it on here.
i too was alright for about a year after treatment, and am now on tamoxifen, i had mastectomy and full lymph node clearance, and i have secondaries in the bones. but i was quite active and enjoying life, but i too have a lot of pain at moment, and thats whats been pulling me down. i have to pull myself out of bed somedays, but it helps if you try to keep occupied, and i find company help too.
hope everyone improves soon, weve been through it before, and won the battle so we will again. x take care