Depression
Depression Hi all
Long time no talk , thought i would give you an update , things are getting worse for nicky , her body aches all the time and her fingers and legs are swolen , she is still getting severe sweats and is not sleeping well ,and its coming up to a year now , she is only 42 and i think she feels she will never feel right again which must be very scary , our relationship is very very strained at this point , we are starting to argue a lot more than we ever did she seems to think i dont care or anyone cares for that matter , she refuses to slow down even though the family and friends are always telling her to do so , i dont know what to do next , the hospital just tell us it takes time .
I love her so much , but she will not talk to me about how she feels , me and the kids seem to get blamed for everything , a close friend of ours says she has all the symptoms of depression but i have no idea how to deal with that .
We really need some help now but i do not know where to go , if anyone can point me in any directions i would be very gratefull
Many Thanks
Tim
Helpline Hi Tim
It sounds like things a pretty difficult at the moment. Maybe you would like to talk to someone in confidence about how you are feeling.
Please feel free to use our telephone helpline on 0808 800 6000.
Everyone on our helpline either has experience of breast cancer or is a breast care nurse.
The team comes from a variety of backgrounds, so callers have an opportunity to talk to someone who has an understanding of the issues they’re facing.
The helpline is available Monday to Friday 9am-5pm and Saturday 9am-2pm.
I hope this helps
Kind regards
On-line forum host
Breast cancer care
I know how you are feeling Hi,my mum finished treatment in Nov last year and since then has been getting worse and worse, as far as the cancer is concerned she is fine, just had 1/4erly check and all is good but the depression is a NIGHTMARE , she has been given various antidepressants, all that work for a short while (apart from prozac which is a completely different story) but soon wear off.
I suppose i am lucky as i dont live at home, its my poor dad who has to cope with it all and recently she has been left high and dry as far as the Drs are concerned (read previous posts under ‘family partners and friends’) we just dont know what to do any more, and it is all very well to be told ‘it will get better’ but what about in the meantime??
She actually said the other day that she felt alot better when she was having chemo than what she does now, she cant go out and as far as she is concerned ther is no light at the end of the tunnel (and no one dares argue with her fo fear of loosing ones head!!)
Just wanted you to know you are not alone, and if you do find a miricale cure PLEASE PLEASE let me know in the meantime we will continue to feel totally helpless and keep trying to ‘do the right thing’.
Take care, Mel
talk to someone Hi Tim,
Sorry to hear nicky is doing so well. I felt the same recently, i am 45, 18 months on from diagnosis etc., and felt as if i was an old woman, aches and pains, hot sweats and all.I couldn’t talk to anyone, even my husband or close friends. It all came to a head when i broke down in work and cried all day. I was having therapies through macmillan centre and it was suggested i get some counselling, it has helped so much. I’m not saying i’m a changed woman but just being able to talk and explore my feelings has been so good. i have just been offered another 6 week session. I now look at my future differently… I have a future!!! I couldn’t say that a couple of months ago, thought life was ending.
Sorry to go on… hope this has helped. My advice is to encourage nicky to get some counselling.
Marg
Speak to someone Reading the post sounds exactly like how I feel., I’m 41 finished rads in September have had so many episodes of lymphoedema and just do not feel right. I’m always screaming at my kids. I spoke to my macmillan nurse and my gp put me on mild antidepressants which I have not taken as i’m scared of getting addicted. I have been advised to see a counsellor soon. Its been a bit scary after everything onehas been through and should be getting back to normal that one has to go through this.
I think nicky should speak to a counsellor.
All the best
Hi all
Thanks for your replies , We went to see the onc yesterday and told him of all the problems , he was very understanding and listened to what we had to say , cant remember his name but he was an African guy , name something like Mr Adu , really genuine nice man . After a long discussion we agreed that Nicky will come off the Femara for a trial period to see if she feels better , I am very worried about this but Nicky wants it . Now she will start producing a small amount of , Oestrogen ( spelling ) which as a Her 2+ cancer sufferer really really wories me , but because her prognosis is good they said they have to balance whats good for her in the long run with quality of life short term .
Nicky is very keen to do this and i would not ask her not to but all the fright and anxiety has come back to me and i prey we are doing the right thing .
She has been to counciling and relaxation classes and group meetings where she met some nice people most of whom now still meet up in there own time once or so a month .
Anyway i,m gonna try and book us all somewhere warm to spend xmas and new year , i think it would be nice for us two and our two kids to be together for a while ( sons away at Uni , daughters always busy with something )
Many Thanks again
Merry xmas and all the best for the new year
Tim
periods! Hi Everyone
Has any of you out there experienced that your periods have not returned after treatment - not that i’m moaning of course!!!
My chemo finished in Feb this year and I’m still on Herceptin until March 07 (the end is near thank god!) I’m 41, my cycle was a bit erratic before bc diagnosis but my periods have not re-started.
Does this mean that the dreaded menopause is gonna follow now!!! after everything else - i’m not complaining that i don’t have the awful 3-4 days each month but not looking forward to the onset of hot sweats and all that goes with it!!!
Your comments are greatly awaited!!
Clemy X
An aid to Emotional Recovery After Breast Cancer Hello Tim and others suffering from depression
Like many other women I’ve struggled with depression following treatment and have got a lot of help from a CD called “An aid to emotional recovery after breast cancer” by Michael Mahoney.
He’s a clinical hypnotherapist and uses a very mild form of hypnotherapy to aid both physical and emotional recovery. You do not lose control of thought processes, etc during the sessions and it leaves you feeling relaxed, positive about your future, in control of your emotions and feeling good about yourself.
My husband listens to the CD with me and he has been helped too (our husbands often need help just as much as we do and, in some cases, more so).
If anyone is interested in trying it you can order it at (I think it costs around £11):
breastcancercd.co.uk . I can really recommend it and, no, I’m not on commission.
Best wishes to you all,
Janice.
Hi Janice
Thanks for your reply , what does the cd acatually do , is it advice , music , comforting words , whats the general theme of the cd
Thanks again
Tim
Post-cancer recovery Hi Tim - sorry to hear about your situation
I agree with ‘Moderator’ the helpline can be more than that - they can be a ‘lifeline’
Have you sought any counselling - not just for Nicky but also for you - her ‘carer’. It is often assumed that it is just the cancer patient that needs support and the poor carers (husbands, wives, kids etc) get left to pick up the pieces - counsellors can often just help you make sence of things.
Also - cancer fatigue is a very very complex syndrome and so to are the various other side-effects such as oedema/ swelling etc. But there is often a sound physiological reason to them - unfortunatly, the health service cannot offer such suppport and rehabilitation is hard to come by. I wonder if physical therapy for Nicky might be of benefit - help her set some goals and realise her aspirations bversus her capabilities- a throurgh assessment of physical and psychological needs migh do wonders - for you too Tim - often it;s the little questions and the little things that make the biggest difference - a little control can do wonders for us all
M
CD Hi Tim
The CD has 4 tracks. The first is Mr. Mahoney talking about the emotional impact that breast cancer can have, particularly after treatment has finished and offering insights into why this happens and ways of dealing with it. The next 2 tracks are both relaxation sessions, using mild hypnotherapy, that leave you feeling positive about your future and recovery from bc, peaceful, relaxed and feeling good about yourself generally. The last track is just a few minutes of ambient music to help relaxation generally.
It’s hard to explain it properly here but I would strongly recommend that you have a look at his website and see what you think. I have certainly been profoundly helped by listening to the CD and still continue to use it on a regular basis.
I hope that this is useful to you.
Best wishes,
Janice.
Thanks janice
Tim