Depression
Depression I have just joined the the site today and I wondered if anyone could help me and tell me if they feel like this.
I was dignosed in December 2005 with a 1.4cm stage 1 neg nodes tumor. I had a lumpectomy , node clearance, radiotherapy and chemotherapy… NOw 5 years on tamoxifen.
My onc told me my survival rate was 98% but I can’t help but put myself in the 2%… I suffer from terrible depression and cannot seem to pick up the pieces of my life. I can’t take antidepressants because the only brand suitable make me very sick.
It is still on my mind 24/7 and I feel I wil never enjoy anything again.
Has anyone else been here and does this awful feeling go away?
Thank you
Alise
Post-treatment depression is very common. Your body has been through a lot, your system has been bombarded, you are suddenly no longer having to go to a clinic regularly with the steady contact, and naturally the mind sees the worst in everything.
You don’t say how old you are or whether you are working, nor when your treatment finished. If you are not working, try to find something to do that takes you out of your routine at least once or twice a week, which has nothing to do with your condition or treatment.
Also, get moving - depression can be warded off by exercise. Just a good brisk walk is as good as anything. If you don’t like walking on your own, try exercising dogs from the local rescue centre - most usually welcome this kind of help.
Oddly enough, another thing to do is to make sure you stand or sit up straight . The brain suffers if the body slumps.
I am sure you will hear from many others about this - many have been through the same problem.
Welcome Hi Alise
Welcome to the site. Yes I have been where you are today, its horrible isn’t it? Bad enough being diagnosed, having op and then treatment, when suddenly the gremlins appear from no where. I really really do understand what you are going through. Do not know if you have any chance to catch up on any of the old messages…(see I need help…after treatment has finished)you will find lots of friends on there and also you will read that I am at present under the psychologist who my breast care recommended me to, Its a wonderful opportunity to off load my feelings to some other than family and friends. This site also put me in touch with a peer, who had been through the roller coaster ride that I was and still am going through. She phones me every week, is unjudgemental and talks me through the tears and the tantrums and the Why Me? feelings.
Try to stay positive, speak to your Doctor and also email the nurses on here and ask for help, I will guarantee you will get it straight away.
Visit us all again soon, we will always be here for you in your hours or days when you are feeling really down.
Chin up
Take Care
Elainex
We’re here for you My Dear Alise,
You have come to the best source of help available.
I think we will always have this experience on our minds but it will become less overwhelming as time goes on.
Every day I wake up and take joy from just being me. I have been supported through my journey by all the lovely ladies on this site and you will too.
No one can tell when the awfull feelings you are having will go away but be assured that one day they most definitely WILL go away.
Try to fast forward yourself in your imagination to that time and believe that you will get there.
Sending hugs.
Love Ali
Hello Alise Hi, my mum was diagnosed in Feb 05 and had chemo rads etc and was given the ‘98%’ survival thing too and all this time on she is exactly the same as yourself, i can only assume what she is going through and try to listen as much as pos not only is it tough for her but my dad is finding it very hard, a few months ago she started seeing a councellor (rubbish at spelling by the way!) this was a very hard decission for her and it took alot of persuasion but we CAN see an improvement, very slight but it is happening, she doesnt always feel like going but she does and its just like having a chat with a friend but she always comes out brighter.
Hope this is of some use to you, she has tried loads of antidepressants but they all seem to have nasty side effects too.
Hope you find a way of feeling better soon x
HI Alise Sorry to hear you are feeling so low, just thought I would let you know that I was first diagnosed with bc 21 years ago and I am still around, I was 38 then. Had recurrence round about the same time as yourself and I must admit it has hit me harder this time probably because I am that much older.
Its a shame you can’t take antidepressants as I understand they have helped many thought this difficult time. How long have you been taking Tamoxifen? they made me feel depressed among other things and as I was told the benefits were very small in my case I have stopped taking them.
Hope you feel better soon.
Take care.
Jan
Hello again Alise,
You might like to take a look at a website on cognative therapy.
My daughter is being treated for depression and was recommended these exercises.
Search google for
Moodgym or Moodjuice, two self help sites.
Wishing you well
Love Ali
Hi
Thank you all for your replies.
Janice - I am taking tamoxifen since June 06 when treatment finished.
Its good to hear from people like you who are 20 years down the road.Its just that I dont want to feel like this for 20 years!
I have gone back to work and "Normal " life (school run etc ) has all started again but nothing seems normal.
I am 43 and have two children aged 10 and 15.
The point is Ithought I would start to feel better by now but I dont.
Thank you all for listening.
Dear Alise Welcome to the forums. Sorry to read that you are feeling this way and I can see that you have received some valuable support and advice from the other forum users. In addition to this, please feel free to contact our helpline on 0808 800 6000 which is open Monday to Friday 9am-5pm and Saturday 9am-2pm. The helpliners, who are either breast care nurses or have had experience of breast cancer, are trained to listen and offer support and advice regarding how you can find help and further support to help you through this difficult time.
I hope this information is helpful to you.
Kind regards
Forum Host
Breast Cancer Care
alise cream, choc, all sorts of fat rich tempting treats work wonders for your Seratonin levels. Walk to the bakers, buy a choc eclair and your favourite danish pastry. Walk home make coffee, pig buns- the result should be a much happier you!
We all have to baby ourselves along with carrots/treats. You’ll get good at it with practice. it’s a terrible waste of life to spend it conmtemplating one’s own demise so we all have to learn to live in the present. If you think about it our NOW is all we’ve ever had- and we’ve still got it.
Spoil yourself, swig your favourite drink, buy a delightfully ridiculous pair of shoes, have a holiday- it’s all good for you. best wishes, dilly