I’m awaiting a scan on Friday and have fallen into a real black hole of depression. Finding it hard to get dressed, do anything and want to cry all the time. My doc gave me some diazapam which I take at night as it helps me sleep. He did offer me anti-depressants and I said no. Maybe it’s time for a re-think, but just the thought of new pills makes me want to gag. I’m just finishing my 3rd cycle of capecitabine. Any thoughts welcome, particularly from those who may be on anti-depressants. I have a doctor’s appointment after my scan on Friday so I could mention some ideas.
I had very bad clinical depression 6 years ago & stopped taking the tablets after about 18 months.
When I was diagnosed with BC Nov 09 I saw my GP after first op for WLE & SNB after just finding out my dad had bladder cancer.
Although I was no where near as bad as I had been 6 years ago my wonderful GP recognised that this journey may trigger the depression & suggested I return to a low dose of anti depresssants which I still take now.
I know they have helped me thru the last few months especially after having to have MX & LD Recon.
I look at it as having to take one small tablet a day if I had a headache I would take paracetemol & as I know what true depression is I do not want to go back there. Although they do not take all the fear & frustration away they do help to stop me going on a downward spiral.
Hi Tawny and Susan,
I don’t know if this will help as I don’t think I’ve been on the brink of depression as such but I have had some really bleak sad times which in fact were worst just after my chemo for liver secs had finished. I broke down whilst having a routine blood test. I was refered for some councelling with a therapist who specialises in helping people to ‘live’ with terminal cancer. This was organised through the Macmillian support services. She has helped me enormously although I haven’t ‘enjoyed’ the sessions at all. She has made me speak my worst anger and fears - how I will die, leaving my family etc but has also made me see that it is possible to make plans for the future. If this is an option open to you, it may help.
Louise
Antidepressants can be very helpful if used correctly and in conjunction with some counselling or talking therapies to help you cope. I am not sure why they have such a stigma attached to them. People will take all sorts of other medication but refuse to take antidepressants. Having depression is a fairly normal reaction to a cancer diagnosis and is not a sign of being a weak person. If you developed diabetes would you be so reluctant to accept medication knowing it would make you feel better?
Depression is horrible and you should get some help. Try the Cancer Counselling service. They will talk to you by phone so you dont have to face someone if you dont feel like it- may not do any good but at least unlikely to be harmful. They are used to this and are trained to help. This is the link cancercounselling.org.uk/services
Sorry to hear that you are in such a black hole at the moment. I have no direct experience of antidepressants but know others who have found them helpful - we are having to deal with such stresses when we have a secondary dx that it is no wonder that at times we need some help.
I have had counselling though and found that useful in terms of being able to talk through my greatest fears etc - mine was organised with a specialist counsellor at the palliative care centre so she had experience of talking through such issues. I felt it helped a lot particularly in somehow making it all less of a rollercoaster of emotions (though there are still the down points).
Having scans and waiting for results is always such a huge stress though and my guess is that this is your first scan since starting capecitebine and your head will be full of what might happen if the scan doesn’t show improvement. Will you get the results quickly? That waiting really can’t be helping matters, so hope that you do have those results without delay.
I am sorry to read that you are feeling depressed. As the other users have mentioned sometimes talking about how you feel can really help. You may be interested in the BCC telephone support groups specifically for women with a diagnosis of secondaries. The group gives you a chance to get together once a week to talk with people who are in a similar situation to yourself. Linked together by phone you can express your feelings and discuss the practical and emotional impact of living with secondary breast cancer. The groups will be particularly useful for you if you feel isolated.
For more information about this and other support services available to you, please telephone our helpline on 0808 800 6000 (Mon-Fri 9am-5pm and Sat 9am-2pm)
I am very much along the lines of Susan’s point - you’d take a paracetamol for headache so why not a pill for depression. Particularly if you combine with other things like councilling etc.
I have not direct experience of depression but have experience of family members suffering and I know how hard and debilitating it can be for them. I’ve known them battle for months and then when enoughs enough get some anti-depressants and they are soon back on an even keel. Please do talk through things with your doc - life can be hard enough without suffering depression.
Sending you best wishes - I do hope you get the help you need and feel better soon
L x
Thanks Kay for the kind thought and to others for posting. I seem to have lifted myself out of the black hole I was in over Easter. I had my scan on Friday - results Tuesday - and then had a good talk with my doctor. I’ve decided to avoid anti-depressants for now but continue with other medication as and when I need it. Depending on my results, I’ll re-visit this option. He gave me a form with which I can monitor how I feel and see if I think that anti-depressants may be the way forward. Spring being in the air has also helped lift the spirits and a well-needed holiday beckons on Thursday - some natural mood elevators are never a bad thing.
So glad to hear that you are feeling a little bettter, Alison. Sounds as if your dr is being very sensible and helpful as well so you know you can revisit the idea of anti-depressants if need be.
Well, folks, had my results: my liver is stable and may even have shown some reduction but difficult to deduce as this is the first scan since starting chemo. Will have another one after 2 more cyles of Xeloda. I seem to be holding up ok. Had a bit of a meltdown prior to my appointment but now feeling almost full of the joys of spring and now really looking forward to my holiday on Thursday.
Just wanted to remind you all, if you would like to talk in real time on line with others who have a diagnosis of secondaries the live chat session will be running from 11.30 to 12.30 tomorrow.
The session is run by a trained facilitator and there will be a nurse present to answer any clinical questions you may have.
To join just click on the live chat link on the front page of the forums.