Sjj99, coming from a law background I can assure you that your boss has NO RIGHT whatsoever to divulge any information concerning you to anyone else regardless of her reasons for doing so. As stated, your work can easily be reallocated to other staff members on the understanding that you are going to be off for whatever length of time required. At no time can ANYONE including your superiors give out information you do NOT agree to. As stated by CM, make sure your HR Department is aware of her intended actions and that you DO NOT UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES want this information in the public domain.
Lesley, like you when I was given my dx I was happy to let everyone around me know as I am useless at hiding my emotions and knew that at some point I would break down anyway. Telling immediate family i.e mother and father was relatively easy but like you my son of 23 panicked. His immediate reaction was “please tell me your not going to die Mum” to which I obviously replied “don’t be silly you cannot get rid of me that easily”! He is a bit better now thankfully after many chats on the phone (he lives with his girlfriend in Lincolnshire and I am in Dorset) but like you I asked his father (my ex-husband I am now remarried) to speak to him and offer support to him as well as my ex in-laws. In-laws have been great to him but his father…what a waste of skin!!! Sadly he remarried himself and as a result his past life is forgotten along with his concerns for his only child, our son, bearing in mind his new wife had bc last year you would have thought he could be more sympathetic. Oh well, thankfully my son appears to be ok and will be coming to stay with us next week after I am home from hospital having had the lumpectomy.
At least my manager asked me what I wanted people to know so that it was up to me - I decided to allow him to tell the team about the bc after he said that he had told the project steering committee that I was being committed to hospital for a while (he is Dutch) - as I was rather afraid that some might think this meant I had finally cracked and been carted away in a straightjacket I decided the truth was the best option! I told my immediate colleagues myself as we work so closely as a team and I wanted them to know why I was dissapearing.
It is reassuring to have confirmation that I am right to think this is a personal and intimate decision, and the way each person deals with it is up to them, and should have nothing to do with anyone else. I had two main reasons for not wanting to tell even my close friends at work, the main one being I had not told my children, and the other that I am a bit of a control freak and whilst I was dealing with the “its bad” status would probably have just burst into tears.!
Seems like quite a few of us have reason to be grateful for the screening programme, I too have thought thank goodness I went, or by the time I noticed it might have been much too late. Anyway I am off today to visit my son. I worry especially for him as his partner’s mother sadly died due to this at quite a young age, so no doubt this will bring back a lot of sadness for her. But I know that once he knows my daughter will be on the phone to him, and that they will support each other aswell as me.
I also learned something here. Free prescriptions!! Good to know there is a way of getting something for free. Thanks so much everyone, its like I have made a dozen new friends.
Hi Sj,
I think it’s such personal decision as to what and when you tell your work colleagues. I told my boss immediately as I had time off for doc and clinic appointments. When I initially told her my Dx, I had quite a few negative comments from her and questions that I just didn’t know the answers to- How long will you be off for? Can your team hold the fort? what radio AND chemo, how come? ewww, you’re not going to lose your hair are you? and the very worst comment-‘Reconstruction- dare I say it, that’s cosmetic.’ It has been hard for me at work, I told my immediate team and as I have begun to tell colleagues that I work with on a lesser basis. i chose to tell some of the gossipy ladies so they could tell others for me. I’m pretty much open about it now but it has taken me 3 months to get here. As for my boss, she has got better, I printed off a lot of HR advice and contacted my HR department myself. I’ve also been to see Occupational Health. There’s a great puboication by BCC called The Employ Charter. It sets out best practice in the workplace. I phoned the BCC helpline and they sent me the booklet which I gave my boss. Remember also that with a diagnosis of BC, we are also covered by the Equality Act 2010 (formally Dsiability Discrimination Act)- This is covered in the Employ Charter.
anybody have experience of cording? had a bit of achey arm on snb side for a couple of days and in shower,felt a long hard line under skin in upper armpit about 8 ins long.doesnt seem to be going down my arm,just sort of disappears if that makes sense? also had pins and needles in that hand thanks alex xx
Hi mummy’s boob i think we have all had cording at some point all I can tell u to do is massage it and stretch it a lot in the shower and out if it gets really bad they will send u for physio but it’s common just kp stretching more each day it will hurt but over time will work gd luck laura
Thats you and me both then kiddo…I have cording really quite bad in the SNB arm as well. Showed it to BCN last week at the appointment with Oncologist and she confirmed it. I have a really bad dimpling of skin around the armpit and the top inside of the right arm and like you the cording goes down the arm to the elbow and is quite noticeable.
Trust us…is nothing ever simple!!!
As Laura64 said its all about massaging and stretching particularly in hot water the BCN told me and try very hard to massage right into the arm if the pain will allow.
I had it last time round I’m convinced, time and exercise did the trick, stick in there girl … you’ll get there, you too Tracy, hope you enjoying your post chemo weekend XXXXX JXX