Hi. I am really scared. I am 37 (wife and mum to 2 young angels), no family history…just 4%tty luck I guess. Primary breast cancer in right breast, lymph node positive. I start chemo and then recover…opted to remove both breasts rather…then recover…then radiotherapy…Dr put me on valium because I totally lost it and lets just say I had scary thoughts that freaked him out. 85% chance of reaching 10 years, then if I can make that…it may be gone for a longer while…how can anyone cope with that? 10?20?30? years who knows?I’m so scared…
Hello there!
Yes, it is scary, but wait there is also hope. There are more than 2 million breast cancer survivors in the world. Don’t you want to be one of them? I do.
I was diagnosed on July 15, 2009 and am having my second round of chem in a few days. Yes, it sucks. Yes, it is scary. However, I am determined to beat this with a positive attitude.
I am determined to survive. Won’t you be determined with me? I would really appreciate it.
Best regards,
1sexymomma
Hi thissucks,
It sounds like you’re having a really difficult time at the moment. If you feel you would like to talk to someone in confidence then the Breast Cancer Care Helpline is here for you, offering support and information. Calls to the helpline are free, lines are open Mon to Fri 9am - 5pm and Sat 9am - 2pm Tel: 0808 800 6000
I’m sure you will also get lots of support from the other users of this site
Kind regards,
Kate, BCC Facilitator
It is so hard when you are first diagnosed, and more so as you are so young with 2 little girls.I was older but believe me I was also in a state of shock and was convinced I was on my way out. I thought I would never smile or laugh again. It should get easier as the shock wears off and you get on with the treatment which is not pleasant but as so many say do-able. When you get diagnosed you are amazed that say… a week ago all you were concerned about were trivialities like, messy house, kids playing up, etc etc all the little things that make up daily life. You are amazed that your friends can still get upset over such things. In time you will revert back to worrying about daft things that don’t matter, but not now. Now you are worrying about dying and leaving the girls. On this site we all can identify with that and you can post here knowing that we all feel or felt much the same. I had a large lump and lymph nodes infected and truly thought I wouldn’t see my grandchildren. I have had five since dx and they do my head in!!! I never thought I would say that. It is three years nearly since I found my lump and no, life will never be the same. I will always have that fear in the back of my mind. You will too. You will learn to live with it. Eventually after the treatment is done you will gradually start to put the fear of bc to the back of your mind. I know at the moment it is so frightening and so hard to carry on with the daily routine. It will get easier. Hopefully the valium will help. Take care and I hope you gain from using this forum AS I did and still do Love Eileen
Hi Thissucks, Take courage. Many of us have been in the same horrible place that you are in now. I was scared sh**less. never thought I would see my little girls grow up. Had a large tumour. 5cm, chemo before surgery. My little girl was just 7 back then. She celebrated her 27th birthday just today. I never thought I would still be here on earth with them and see them grow up. But I made it. My prognosis 10 years ago was 50% chance of surviving 2 years. Well I have lived with BC for 20 years in all, and I am still here. I hope you survive as long as I have or even longer. We are all here for you for support and we are there for you anytime you feel the need to scream…or let off steam. Much love Val ( Scottishlass) xx
So sorry another young woman has joined us, but welcome, you will find support, advice and encouragement here. i’m 33, was diagnosed in march this year invasive ductal, grade 3 aggressive little ba****d. just finished chemo and awaiting bi lateral mastectomy then radiotherapy. i have a 1 year old and was hoping for another then Bl**dy cancer.
i remember thinking and feeling like you… 10 years? is that the best i can hope for?! in ten years i’ll only be 43! i felt incredibly frightened and cheated… particuarly for my child. all i can say is that you will eventually absorb the initial shock and life isn’t going to be how it is now forever. you will find a way of coping because you have to. my fire in my belly is my family. of course i still have really dark moments but mostly we carry on like a normal family and i do laugh again…lots. it is a really s**t hand that we have been dealt but there are long term survivors and i just have to believe i am gonna be one of them. please keep in touch and thinking of you… chemo is totally do-able.
love becky.xxx
Hi
I was diagnosed last week and start chemo this week…is anyone close to Cambridge?..I need a hand …to hold literally…
Hi thissucks
Sorry you have had to join us, but hope you will get some support on this site, like I have. I was dx mid May, WLE and SNB and have completed 5 out of 8 chemos. Have to have remaining lymph nodes removed post chemo as 4 out 5 showing signs of disease, then RADS, Herceptin and Tamoxifen. I am about 45 mins from Cambridge. Send me a private msg if you want to meet up. Do you know what your chemo regime is and will you be having it at Addenbrokes?
Take one day at a time and as Redcell says, chemo is do-able.
Jayney
x
Hi thissucks,
I’m also so sorry you’ve found yourself on here and although Cambridge is not near me I (and so many others) are holding your hand right now.
I started chemo last Tuesday (first of 6 FECs) after having had surgery to remove the lump (13mm Grade 2 invasive ductal). I’m 37 with three children and know how frightening everything seems right now.
It WILL become easier to cope with and you WILL cope.
Sending you loads of ((((((((((((hugs))))))))))))))))
Al
xxx
Hi there,
Yes, its terrifying - its still fresh enough for me to remember (and fear), and having to decide what to tell my small children. But honestly, once chemo starts it becomes less so. You’ll be FINE and come through stronger, more focussed and more determined than ever before. Throughout chemo (and everything that follows) I thought of my kids (5 & 9)and still, every single day tell myself I WILL be here for them, whatever it takes. Stay positive. You’ll be amazed at how soon normal life resumes, and just how adaptable kids are (I heard my 5 year old proudly telling her friend at the school gates: ‘that’s my mum - the one with the bald head who looks like an alien’)Bless 'em! Jan X
Hi
Its two weeks later …had my first chemo…no bad side effects…just really tired on day 4…next one 21 Oct…guess I can’t ask the question …Are we there yet…?..but things are moving along…emotionally I am in a better place…saw my counsellor yesterday who helped…I am just really so greatfull for your cyberspace support…Jan…thanks for making me laugh…AL…thats kind of you…and everyone else…having this support has helped me so much over the last 2 weeks…thanks
Noelene
Hya,
I just wanted to put my two pennyworth in,i am 39 with 7 children ranging from 1 to 21yrs.I was also gutted into shock and required diazepam initially.
I got diagnosed in march with grade 3 invasive ductal multifocal,i chose to have chemo first as was lymph node positive,i can honestly say,that after my first chemo my lumps halved in size,after teh second chemo cycle (epirubicin) the lumps had practically disappeared to the touch. I was originally misdiagnosed 6 months previously so this was a major achievement for me emotionally. I have been in and out of hospital with various problems related to chemo since march,however i got told yesterday i couldnt have my last two cycles due to me being too ill, they said it would be a different thing if my initial shrinkage wasnt so successful,I am awaiting a double mastectomy (one healthy breast taken out of choice) and immediate reconstruction taken from my tummy…I learned yesterday that as well as stopping the chemo they will be bringing the surgery forward (diazepam time for me again).
What i am trying to say is, nothing is mapped out, i dont know where they get these statistcs of ten years from,i dont intend to be a statistic and whose to say in five hours oor five yrs time they dont get the cure we are all hoping and praying for.
I also want to add… my aunty had throat cancer (very very agressive) and had to have her thyroid removed as well as other things when she was 23, she was given ten yrs to live maximum, she is still going strong and actually caring for me now at 53 yrs old ! So please dont be deflated by statistics.Chemo is tough, but the tougher it is the more the cells burn the more they burn the more benefit we get 
keep smiling sharon xxxxxxxxx
Thanks small star…I’m on FECT…had one treatment and my tumour seems smaller already…so thats good …I am also lymph node positive…so chemo first makes sense…I hated the bloody diazepam…took it for one day only…then preferred to just be in shock for the next 2 days(legs shaking throughout )…how the hell did your misdiagnosis happen?..I have grade 2 lobular cancer…which seems like part of the breast tissue…so if it were my type I could understand…but…how do you not pick up IDM?..Sorry man…Re your aunt…I hear you and feel the same way…sod that % …I’m not that sick on chemo…still have 5 more to go tho…and I just want the surgery over and done with…nerve wrecking…but just think…its part of the fight…(I have opted to remove the healthy one too)…good choice…I agree…I wish you luck with the surgery…I know you will be fine…and you are not alone…we all have the same anxieties, …the reconstruction pictures could be worse?..its something I can live with…after the radiotherapy…we get our lives back? and a party is in order…
Hi Noelene, glad you holding up and not too sick. The weeks will soon pass and hopefully you’ll keep well. Love Eileen
Crikey - (this sucks) - U R so scaring me! - I am 40, was diagnosed just over a week ago, have to start chemo a week tomoz, as the tumour is too big to operate, and due to my age. Off course over the last 10 days or so my life has been upside down, I am off work cuz can’t face all that along wiv this, but I have a supportive family & friends and really want to get thru this. I am so scared about the chemo & losing my hair etc…
I agree wiv what you call yourself (this sucks) I call the thing inside me the bas**** - but we need to support one another and fight this thing!!!
Luv Em xxxx
Hi Em
Im sorry I scared you. I’m halfway through the chemo now…and I am only sick two days after…then fine…can still pack a punch…starting Taxotere…3 Dec…finish 13 Jan…Mas 14 Feb…recon…a year later…its not really the size of the tumour…people with positive lymph nodes have to have chemo in any event…kill other Basta%d…cells that may be lurking about…but don’t be scared I was looking Olivia Newton John up…she had chemo too, as she was lymph node + too and has been in good health for the last 18 years…was our age when diagnosed…so why not us?Are you still scared?..I have ILC…not ductal and I was reading some case American studies about woman like me same stage etc…some of them were still around after 43 years!
How are you on the chemo?.. I lost my hair…but at the moment…I don’t really care…people must just get over it…me walking around looking like ET…besides it grow back…have a wig…but only wear it when I feel like it…you know what was really cool…the look good feel better programmes…try and go on one after Xmas…we had fun…didn’t just talk about this crap…there’s more to all of us than this in any event isn’t there?
Noelene
Cambridge