Diagnosed Friday (Hrs b4 I picked up my wedding dress) - tryin 2B calm - Histerical Twice So Far

Really Stupid - Did not check my breasts after false alarm five years ago scared the hell out of me - now have Grade 3, 5cm tumour plus lymph involvement and tests to establish what else, following routine NHS mammogram (even though my last test was less than three years ago).  I have had a bad week - went out for a walk to calm down and even a sea gull dropped something on my head - I really thought I was too young for this - I exercise regularly - eat sensibly - and there is no family history of breast cancer (just a lot of stress from flying all over the country over the last ten years).  I just need someone to communicate with, I work in a mans engineering world, so have no female friends to speak of, and feel like I need to hide with shame having been reduced to this. If I see anyone I know while I am having treatment I will freak out and run.  I am between contracts at the moment so certainly won’t get any work now. 90% of me says that I can get through this, but the other 10% is out of control.


I’m so sorry you’ve had to join us on here but it’s a safe place to seek advice and everyone is so helpful.
This is the scariest stage as most ladies will agree. The waiting for a treatment plan and not knowing what’s happening moving forward. I was just like you, absolutely terrified those first few weeks. Convinced every ache and pain meant it had spread, which it hadn’t!
I’m 39 and exercise and eat healthily too but still the bu**er got me. Pls don’t think yourself stupid. It’s very treatable nowadays and most people go on to lead a full and healthy life afterwards.
I’ve had a mastectomy, lymph node removal and am half way through chemo and yes I still have wobbly days but prognosis is good and I try to think of it as a temporary blip. A few months of crap to hopefully have a healthy and long life moving on.
Pls do ask any questions on here as there will always be someone around to answer them.
You will feel calmer once you know what’s happening.
Sarah xx
Ps your seagull comment did make me smile a bit (sorry) it’s supposed to be a sign of good luck! X


You will find all the help both information and companionship here. Your not going through this alone. I also felt like that mix between calm and manic although I must admit my percentages were more evenly mixed!  I’ve just had surgery and looking to plan the next stage of treatment and the manic is calming down.  I too have worked in a “mans” world and very few female friends so take all the support you need from here and when you feel able attend a support group meeting,  I found a great contact there who has given me great support and advice. Get all the help you can and you will come through this stronger than ever. xx