Hi, I am a 53 year old mum of adult children and a passionate dog mom! I had my screening mammogram in February so wasn’t worried when i found a lump in my armpit and assumed it was swollen lymph nodes so left it a few weeks to go down but when it didn’t went to see my GP who referred me to the breast team at my local hospital. They did not do a mammogram as I had one a few months earlier but did an ultrasound of the lump and took biopsies of it. On Monday it was confirmed to be grade 2 musanous cancer, hormone receptor positive. Since the biopsy I have developed a lump behind my nipple and I have been told that the cancer is in my lymph nodes so I require further imaging (MRI, Mamogram and another ultra sound) before they can devise a treatment plan and start treatment. I am feeling devestated by this. I am struggling to sleep or concentrate on anything. This is made more difficult by the fact that I am terrified to tell my son, he is autistic and I am his whole world. I have seen my strapping 23 year old lad shaking and in tears because I have needed a blood test in the past, how do I tell him I have cancer. Family and friends that know have shown a surprising variety of response’s. My sister in law thought it was ok on the day I was diagnosed to say I should demand a full MRI as the pain I have in my body could be bone cancer! Its not, I have fibromyalgia and arthritis but this is in my head now and is really playing on my mind. My best friend of 30 years has been really dismissive and just pointed out other people she knows who have “sailed through it” and my poor husband is devastated. How have you managed your anxiety and the differing responses from others? I am so grateful the hospital told me about this forum. I have been desperate to talk to someone who understands and here you are!
Hi @dogmom54 I’m so sorry about your diagnosis and what it means to your family. I am sure you will get a lot of advice from the ladies here but I would very much recommend that you give the BC Now nurses a call as soon as possible on 0808 800 6000 from 9 am every day except Sundays ( until 4pm M-F and to 1pm on Saturdays). They are wonderful women, extremely experienced and will give you the time you need to talk through the questions that you have posed here. You will feel better for having spoken to them, I guarantee. Please continue to post here as much as you need as there is so much to process.
Hi @dogmom54! Welcome. I’m glad you have found this forum. It will really help you I am sure. So many wonderful knowledgeable and wise people on here with a realm of experiences.
The bit you are doing now is the hardest bit by far. Everyone will tell you so. Who to tell what to, what their reactions are going to be, how to just stay remotely sane day to day with all this going on. We have all been there.
Take all the advice you can get and then you can decide. Sometimes we find that the most unusual people turn out to be the biggest support to us when those closest can’t deal with the double whammy of how we feel as well as how they feel. It’s hard for everyone, but it is happening to you and you will need support.
I am sure someone will give advice on your son, I am not qualified to say, but I am sure if the news is let out bit by bit it might be easier than sitting him down for a big chunk of challenging news.
Keep talking on here and using all the resources. You will get through this and surprise yourself at your resilience.
Sending a hug xx
Hi @dogmom54. Firstly, welcome lovie. Non of us want to be here but boy are we happy that we found each other!! We are all in the same boat, one way or another, and we all - especially- understand where you are right now. It’s an emotional minefield.
It does get easier, I promise you. Once you know what your type of critter is, it is somehow easier to get your head round it.
Friends and family can often be “helpful “ that way. I’ve got a friend who catastrophises everything and I got a similarly dark warning from her. Of course you worry but beware of disappearing down dark rabbit holes at 3am!
We’ve all done it, slippers, mug of tea and Google. Next thing you know your planning your own funeral and, seriously, for the vast majority of us, it isn’t that dark. The stats for most breast cancers are good. So try not to panic.
My own is ER8 PR8 and HER2 neg. I had lumpectomy and SNB on 9th July. I’ve just had another surgery due to complications (hematoma that wouldn’t bloody quit!). Not the best of times, but I’m much improved now and heading for radiotherapy Sept/oct. It’s a pathway, as mentioned above. We all travel it in our way but once you e got your treatment plan, you’ll be on your way too.
Use this forum. It’s a godsend! We are all here for each other - even at 3 in the morning (we’ve all been there hon)
All the best to you
Hugs 
Great message xx
I concur with catastrophic thoughts, it’s natural to think you’re riddled with it, I even started watching Netflix docs about death, how unhealthy is that?! And yes it can be so surprising with people. I have a very fractured relationship with my sister, and she’s been very thoughtful and supportive. My oldest friend has been a rock, but even he was somewhat dismissive at the start saying it’ll be fine, no one actually knows that! A new friend I met last year who isn’t local to me, has been so kind and thoughtful. And a friend who was supportive of me last year when I had whooping cough has been odd and didn’t help my mind when she insisted I send her a copy of my initial breast clinic appointment letter, then went silent for the rest of the day, and I asked why she wanted to see it, and she said to see if there was something on it that would stop me worrying (but obviously she thought there wasn’t, and didn’t offer any reassurance or advice).
Anyway, that’s people x
I’m so sorry about your diagnosis! It feels completely unfair that you already have so much on your plate. I am also recently diagnosed, around the same age, and have a really busy life. My anxiety is through the roof, but I’m trying to keep it simple and, after initial research, just focusing on the next steps. My friends are compassionate, but they definitely don’t understand how this completely transforms life choices. <3
Welcome @mel_c . Yes it certainly does pull the rug out from under you, I to am so, so busy normally and this is such a challenge.
Mixed reactions from others just yanks your chain. I’ve had zero support from my own sister, who seems to be frightened she’ll catch it if she gets too involved. Well that’s certainly what it feels like on this end, and that’s been hard to deal with. I finally snapped a couple of days ago and vented… met with silence. It’s hard to figure out that one. Although it has always been a tough relationship. I figure I’ve got enough to deal with already- she can keep her own council & I’ll keep mine. Friends have been mostly fabulous. One can’t cope and has gone quiet on me. But I guess it’s not fun is it, cancer… I’m giving her the “don’t worry, give me a bit space to concentrate on me for a bit “ spiel. But then I get annoyed. Surely that’s her line, not mine??
Bloody hell…minefield 
Anyway, we are all here, and we’re all going through it. For the vast majority of us, it’s a five year journey of treatment and light at the end of it… I hang on to that.
Good luck boob babes!
Hugs all round
Dognym54 
think there’s been a fair few of us over tge years who have been surprised at people reactions, some do a beam me up Scottie and disappear while you go through treatments then beam back down where you through and carry on as if nothing has happened, then you’ll find the kindness of strangers come into your life when you need a bit of support just at a certain moment. You concentrate in you it’s natural to try and protect everyone from what’s really running through your mind, a lot of us have done that over the years and used tge forum as our safe space to let it all out where other understand and listen and reach out with shared experience, hope and understanding we’re all here for you 
Shi xx
So sorry about your diagnosis, sending you much love. I was diagnosed with grade & stage 2 invasive ductal carcinoma last year and had a mastectomy. I was absolutely dreading telling my adult son as I knew how upset and worried he’d be. We are also very close, he’s neurodiverse, he’s my only and he still lives at home. He’s quite dependent on me emotionally. I did play it down a little bit, but I was mostly honest with him and gave him lots of factual information and statistics, which I think helped him. We also went on lots of walks together, just the two of us, and chatted about it and I did my best to answer his questions. I was very careful with the words I used so as not to alarm him. I spent most of the months between diagnosis and treatment worrying about other people and managing their feelings, but in a way that was quite good because it gave me something to focus on. I don’t know if that helps. It’s a journey, one that none of us want to take, you can only take one step at a time. Best of luck xx