i have just joined the forum as I was only diagnosed on Tuesday. I am 46 with no family history of bc. I have grade 2 invasive bc with lymph node involvement. I had a 2 sited biopsy last week and both the lump and the lymph node have tested positive. I am due for a lumpectomy and axillary node clearing on jan 10th to be followed by radiotherapy and have been offered the Import high clinical trial. At this stage in time they are saying that chemo is unlikely.
Since diagnosis I have gone into uber practical mode and kept my emotions at bay from my husband daughter and friends. Truth is I’m really scared as there seems to be so much unknown -from the node clearance- how will affect me afterwards to dreading having to have chemo and mx. Similar to other posts on here every ache and pain I have I am imagining the worst. Although I do actually get an awful lot of pain from the lump and under the armpit anyway-it was the one thing that made me cling to the hope that it wasn’t bc as bc is usually ppainless.
i am trying so hard to have a positive mental attitude as so many people are telling me being positive is the key but I am scared beyond words
Hi Littlescoot, so sorry you have not had any replies yet - it seems the forum is currently quite busy and sometimes we forget to check the ‘new threads’. What you are describing sounds completely natural and normal - I remember being very much the same back in August 2010 when I began my journey through bc treatment. Back then I honestly thought that by now I would be just a memory, I was that terrified, but just this week I celebrated (big style) my 50th birthday and I am enjoying life as NED (no evidence of disease).
What can I say to help? First of all, avoid the demon Google - there is good stuff to be found, such as this site, but there’s an awful lot of outdated, wrong and even dangerous stuff out there. Stick with BCC, CRUK and macMillan as they are trustworthy. Next, don’t be afraid to ask what seem like silly questions - they aren’t silly, you just don’t yet know the answers; plenty of us have been through the same questioning and wondering and may be able to help. Try to take it one little step at a time through whatever treatment you have - I was told on day one I hasd to have the whole shebang, but my breast care nurse (BCN) told me only to think about the part I was doing at that time, and the rest would take care of itself. It was good advice.
Hopefully in two year’s time you will either have left this so far behind you that you’ve forgotten you were ever on this site, or, like me, you’ll be hanging around, remembering this moment and saying the same kind of thing to someone else.
Big hug. Have the best Christmas you can, and sue this as a safe space to vent, rant, weep or whatever you need.
Welcome to the BCC forum where you will get a lot of support from other members.
You may also find it helps to talk things over with one of our helpline staff. The opening times are 9-5 on weekdays and 10-2 on Saturdays. The number is 0808 800 6000.