Hi,
I just don’t know where to start with all this…
On the 7th Feb I went to the breast clinic to check what I thought was a cyst - I found out that day it was cancer. If just felt like a small pea behind my nipple. I had my biopsy results on Valenties day and was told that I have ‘invasive ductal carcinoma grade 2’.
I had an MRI scan on the 15th and I meet with the doctors again this Thursday (21st) for the results of the MRI.
I was told that it is small but they will still want to talk to my about MX and Chemo - and I have no idea why as this seems really scary stuff (thought I might just have a lumpsectomy and rads).
Thursday seems like such a long way off and I’m thinkg all sorts of things.
Sadly, my partner and I argued before I got my results last week and I have not seen him since - I am left wondering just how I will cope with 2 small children and chemo? I don’t even know how sick chemo can make you as the internet seems to be full of so many horror stories. Is anybody else in a similar situation (and I am truly sorry if you are).
x
You’ve come to the right place here at BCC, for some good, honest support from the many informed users of this site. While you are waiting for replies could I suggest that you give our helpline team a ring and have a chat with them about your concerns, they’re here to support you. Lines are open again tomorrow morning (9-5 Mon to Fri and 10-2 Sat), calls are free, 0808 800 6000
I am so sorry to have met you here. The “Waiting Room” is the worst place to be, not knowing what is in store, but once you have seen the consultant and know the treatment plan, you will feel so much more in control.
One month ago, I was diagnosed with grade 2 IDC and DCIS. Due to the extent of “unstable tissue”, I had an MX and ANC at the end of January. I get my post operative review on Wednesday, and will hear what adjuvant treatment I will get then.
I am fortunate that my children are older, but my OH, family and friends have been incredibly supportive; I hope you can find someone to support you as it does help to have someone with you at the appointments as a second pair of ears. I couldn’t concentrate on much and most information didn’t register.
It will get better. Keep posting here for help and advice, I have found these pages a comfort and in many cases an inspiration whilst I have been waiting.
Sending you cyber hugs, keep strong,
Thank you for taking the time to reply - very kind.
It certainly does feel like I’m sat in the waiting room. I am sorry that you have/are going through this. It is so much to take in let alone understand.
Is grade 2 IDC the name for what I have also?
How was the MX, it seems that they did this very quickly for you - I do hope that you are having a good recovery amd coping ok. I am so glad that you have support. I do have very good friends (although all have very young children/babies so there time is very limited) -
Reading things on the internet made me go crazy with fear - so I’m hoping htis will be a safer better place.
Wishing you all the luck in the world for Wednesday,
xx
hi meemoo
just to let you know, i have just been diagnosed but i was so numb i cant even remember what with and they have explained to me, i just dont retain the information at all. i know i have got to have an op and chemo afterwards, but to be honest i just havent been able t think straight.
i know that the internet is probably not the place to be looking, it scared me with all the horror stories so i gave it up rather quickly. I’m trying to fill my days with happy things, happy thoughts, and keeping busy because the days pass so slowly, i went on the 6th feb and was told straight away but i think today is the first day i have felt ‘normal’ in myself, mainly because i now know when they are going to contact me to tell me when i can go in for my op. i get what you are saying about thinking all sorts of things, i do it a lot, it wears you out tho.
mm is right i think, it does get a liitle better.
wishing you happy thoughts very soon, angiepops. xx
DO NOT GOOGLE! The internet holds much out of date information, or information which needs interpretation. This site and the Macmillan site are updated regularly, and should answer all general questions you may have.
The MX itself was not too troublesome, I haven’t had much pain from the wound at all, and the swelling has already subsided. However, the Axial Node Clearance (necessary because the SNB showed node involvement) had compromised movement in my arm, but this is already much better. The three week wait for my post operative results has almost driven me to distraction, but my BCN has been very reassuring over the phone and I have tried to keep busy meeting friends and family or undertaking retail therapy! Chocolate has featured a lot!!
Keep in touch and let us know how it goes on 21st.
Hi , I am so sorry you find yourself here however I can assure you we have all been where you are now & I found it to be a very dark , scary place . i was dx on dec 11th & like you had so many questions & fears , it does get easier especially once you know your exact diagnosis & treatment plan .
I would advise you to use this site or Macmillan & keep off the Internet a lot of stuff is out of date or inaccurate & can scare the pants off you !
my daughter is 6 & i only told her once I knew the full situation & I picked a day when I was strong , pick your time when your having a good day there’s no rush , get your own head around it first. I brought my daughter up for 4 years on my own before meeting my OH so I know how hard it is on your own however you will find strength to cope & you must accept offers of help when needed from friends or family .
It’s very surreal isn’t it , it comes as such a shock & whilst your in the waiting room it is the hardest part , I never slept for a month ! Try to take someone with you when you meet with consultants etc as I never took it all in
ive had my first chemo & it’s " do able " we all offer support on here whether you are scared , angry or just have a question , we all have different situations but on the rollercoaster together
hang on in there , keep busy , fresh air is great !! & take care x
Hi, I qualify to join your ‘gang’ too…aged 40 and diagnosed with IDC stage 2 on 23rd Jan, WLE & SNB on 7th Feb, follow up apptment showed no node involvement but 3cm of DCIS so further op on 22nd to remove that then back to the ‘waiting room’ to see if they have clear margins (heres hoping)…I have to agree with what has already been said here, waiting is the worst part, try to keep busy and carry on with life as normally as you possibly can, I found this almost impossible in those first few days following Dx but I carried on working and visited friends, the busier I was the better, I have an indication of what my treatment plan mayb, I will have to have rad’s but still unsure about chemo at present, I am guessing that will depend on this next op…brilliant advice there from mungos mum…keep well clear of google, I made that mistake before finding my way here.
Take care and best of luck on Thursday x
Hi meemoo and others
The younger womens section on the side bar is a really useful starting point to get information and find support if you want it. I was dx at 38 in 2010 with a 2year old and a 4 year old. This site helped me a lot. There are lots of resources out there when you are ready for them, so please dont feel you are alone.
debx
Hiya Meemoo,
I am so sorry you have found yourself with a cancer diagnosis. I was diagnosed a year ago on 16th Feb with a Grade 2 invasive ductal ca (i was 36). I was also given my results on the 21st Feb (which just so happened to be my birthday!) I have had chemo, then a mastectomy followed by radiotherapy, hormone therapy and herceptin. (I akso had embryos frozen before having chemo as i wanted children and had not had any)
A year down the line and i was just last week given the ‘No Evidence of Disease’ news from my MRI scans. I guess what i am trying to say is - for all the bad things that might be going through your head…a year later I am still here and chemo kicked some arse!
I know you mind will be going 10 to the dozen now with questions right now. Write them down and take them with you. I had a whole heap of questions for my oncologist. The waiting is the worst and i think once a treatment plan is in place you feel more in control of the siutation. and i agree STEP AWAY FROM GOOGLE… The Macmillan site is good for listing out treatments and side effects etc…
Dont be afraid to ask any questions on here as there is a wealth of experience…and you will get some great advice. I know i did.
Also - if you are on Facebook i belong to a ‘closed’ (private) younger womens group on there with ladies from all over the UK. If you are interested i can let you know how to join - if you would like to. Again there is loads of experience on there and its a private place to chat about all sorts of things…
Thinking of you on the 21st - if i can answer any questions at all about treatment then feel free to ask.
Rae
x
I’ve just put the computer on since i posted last night and all of you lovely ladies have replied. A big big thank you - just seeing your replies has given me hope that this could be the worst time.
What wonderful advice you have ALL already given me - and yes I will now try and resist ‘google’
LS1972 - I am sorry you have had this at such a young age too, please keep in touch with you op results this Friday (22nd). (I get mine on the 21st) xx
Karen - Hope you are feeling as well as possible after your chemo. I notice you have started a ‘Valentines’ thread that I will take a look at later. x I will pick a good day to tell my son, and will try and find a little advice on what best to tell him. xx
MM - so glad the MX has gone as well possible - I am sorry you are left waiting again - when are your results due? I pray they will be good. x
Angiepops - looks like we were only a day apart with being told so at the same stage of ‘shock’. Like you today seems my first normal day when every waking moment hasn’t been filled with cancer thoughts - I’ll go as far as to say today is a GOOD day!!! Hope you can have a few too whilst you are waiting.
Here is wishing us ALL more sunshine and Better Days . Thank you all. x x x
Thank you for taking the time get in touch - looks like I am exactly a year behind you with the same diagnosis. Congratulations on getting the all clear last week - that is something to celebrate indeed (and I hope I can reply in the same fashion this time next year!). I hope that this year you will have an AMAZING birthday.
Thank you for letting me know about Facebook but I don’t tend to use it at the moment - I’ll let you know if I change my mind. I have felt instantly better from the replies I have received here.
I still don’t know what my diagnosis means or what it will involve treatment wise but I am hoping that on Thursday I can take some control - limbo land is not fun!
Wishing you a fab fab birthday - you must feel soooooo proud of what you have achieved over the last year - you killed Cancer!!!
xx
If your son is under 10yrs old have a look at the book " mummy’s lump" I had a look on this site by PDF then had it posted for free, my daughter is 6 & I found it helpful , she didn’t want to read it in the end but I used it for picking up tips what to say x( I cried the first time I read it on my own made me realise I wasn’t able to tell her until it was a " good day " … You will get them ! )
Yes he is 8 - thanks for the info, i’ll take a look. We both had a really good day today, and I cherish the moments - the first day i’ve felt ‘normal’. This site has helped loads already.
I have been reading all the posts in your ‘Valentine’ group - you are all so inspiring. I notice you have started your chemo - I’ve read with lots of interest how you are getting on. Hope our having some good days. I’d like to be able to join your group as you all seem so supportive of each other. I get my results this thursday so will have my treatment plan then.
Yes he is 8 - thanks for the info, i’ll take a look. We both had a really good day today, and I cherish the moments - the first day i’ve felt ‘normal’. This site has helped loads already.
I have been reading all the posts in your ‘Valentine’ group - you are all so inspiring. I notice you have started your chemo - I’ve read with lots of interest how you are getting on. Hope our having some good days. I’d like to be able to join your group as you all seem so supportive of each other. I get my results this thursday so will have my treatment plan then.
It’s a lovely thread to join just pop a message on when u want to & you will be made very welcome, i use my phone so post a lot others only now & then , some girls have had their chemo delayed until march but still staying with us , it helps cos u can read everyone’s SE’s or rants & know your not alone. I was first off the mark so often read Jan Jems thread just to see how they are doing for comparison . It’s a personal journey though & everyone is different so Just take the info that helps you .btw there is also a link somewhere for abbreviations if needed lol ! Hope it goes ok for you tomorrow x
Hi Meemoo,
I too was given my diagnosis on valentines day. I am 33.
I went yesterday for extra tests to see if it had spread to my lymph nodes. The doctor said that first impressions of what they saw suggested it hadn’t, but it’ll be a couple of days till they can confirm that.
I did meet the consultant yesterday which seemed to help my state of mind. He was able to give me a date for my surgery, when I’m having just the lump removed. I’ve been told to then expect chemo and rads.
Its a terrible place to meet, but it is very nice to meet you. I don’t have any children but my OH does, a 12 year old son. We haven’t told him yet because of other things that are going on in his world, but plan to tell him, not this weekend coming but the weekend after. Which will be the weekend before my surgery.
I’m very new to this forum but it has already given me much needed support and courage. I’ve banned myself from google also!
I wish you all the very best for your results tomorrow. It appears that we are at exactly the same step of this journey we are facing.
Big hugs to you,
xxx
Hi Meemo and Storm1,I sugggest you do all your worrying on this site,we are going through everything together and everyone is supportive and discusses all the side effects and treatments.We also have the experts overseeing us.
Others with youngsters will help you too.Funnily enough the first person I told when diagnosed was my 14yr old grandaughter,we are very close.I have 2 daughters and an 18yr old grandaughter,all family and friend overs have been so supportive,not a day goes by without texts from them.
We have all said we hated the waiting and just want to get on with treatment so that we can tick it off and see the end in sight.I am having FEC x6 which is over 18 wks then 3 wks radiotherapy Dx Invasive ductal clear margins lumpectomy(2 lumps together)Sentinel nodes clear.Op was fine.
i hope they give you your plan this week.
Re your partner,some people are frightened by illness and dont know how to cope when family affected.I hope it works out for you.
Sending you Big hugs Chris xxxx
Hi Meemo and everyone,
Good luck for tomorrow with your scan results. I hope someone is going with you to the appointment. Once you have those results you should get your treatment plan and will then feel a whole heap better as the sooner you start the sooner you can start to kick this disease into touch. The Waiting Room is a horrible place to be. We are all here to support each other, so please keep posting and browsing.
x