I am so sorry that your Valentines was the same as mine . However, after the inital shock, bang, whallop, I hope you are starting to come back down to planet earth - I know that I seem to have been on planet panic these last few weeks.
I don’t know why but I have had a sense of ‘normality’ again the last 2 days. Lots of people on here have repeatedly said the begining and the waiting is the worse part - which is where we are - so looks like things will get better for us once we have a bit more control over what is happening.
When is your surgery date? Please keep in touch and let me know how things are going.
Does you OH’s son live with you? I know telling them isn’t going to be easy but Karen gave some good advice - and that was to tell them when your having a good day!
Lots of love, xx
I have been reading your posts on the ‘Valentines’ forum and would like to join you strong wonderful ladies as soon as I get my results and treatment plan tomorrow (I am fine about it at the moment but know I will be sick with nerves again when I am sat in the REAL waiting room!).
The thing I find hardest at the moment is that it’s not just one thing you need to think/learn about - there are SO many things going round in my head - - - What does the cancer mean - Will I lose my hair ---- Will I start early menopause - Will chemo mean I can’t look after my children on my own - What other side effects - what what what what …blah blah blah blah.
It’s exhausting and I haven’t even started chemo yet!!! I guess I need to start learning to cope with one day at a time.
thanks for your support - so so grateful
xx
(i’ll try and make sure I only post this the once!)
You hit the nail on the head there Meemo … One day at a time. Concentrate on the next stage (your results tomorrow) and after that, on to stage 2 whatever that may be. Forget what comes after that until it arrives. Bannish all the whatifs.
I wish I could follow my own advice!
meemoo keep us posted with how you got on Thursday, fingers have been crossed for you lola65 , think you had your DCIS Re Ex yesterday the same as me, how you feeling post op…??
I’m 24 hours post DCIS Re Ex, results on 7th March, not feeling too bad this time round, op was at 9.10am and was back home for 7pm and DRAIN FREE…!!
I have type 1 diabetes and this time managed to get them to keep me off a glucose drip (which saw my blood sugars rocket the last time) I just had a glucose injection which seemed to keep my bloods stable…I did, apparently make the anesthetists life extremely difficult…oooops and on a Friday too , my last op on 7th they said I had to tell them in furture I was difficult to intubate, this anesthetist said that was an understatment and for the first time in his career he actually considered calling the op off…!! I will now be armed with a letter for any further planned surgery…explaining how difficult I am, apparently for a number of reasons, windpipe not straight, throat tight, mucus restricted camera view, full set of my own teeth (I thought that was an asset…!! lol) and small mouth (hahahaha my OH would definitley argue that 1…!!) and oxygen levels dropped quickly which allowed him only 30-45 seconds to get the tube in place, he tried twice, then got a colleague involved, they agreed to try a final time and if it failed on last attempt to call the op off, fortunately the last attempt was successful, I know by the pain that they tried ‘hard’ though…!!
Some good news from yesterday, already aware of no node involvement, but was also told, to the best of their knowledge no vascular involvement either, that it was likely I would need rads only…so heres hoping that once I’m out the waiting room its to clear margins (I have everything crossed), and that will be the case.
take good care everyone and keep us up to date with your progress xxx
Hi LS,
What a “to do”. Your poor Anaesthetist!! I hope your throat isn’t too sore after all that messing. Mine is a bit sore without any messing. In fact, when the lovely anaesthetist came to the ward before the op he recognised me from the initial op and praised himself for doing a good job in not losing any of my crowns! I did have to stop the theatre nurse from doing my blood pressure on my “bad” arm - good job I was still awake at the time.
I was first on the list, down in theatre about 9am and back home by 1pm - so quicker than you. I am one of those lucky people that thrive on general anaesthetics - they make me bright and breezy for some reason. Bizarre. My boob is very tender to touch, and my clothes are catching on it, but otherwise I feel fine. Just had a sharp shooting pain though - probably the nerves complaining. I slept well, although may be because I took a Co-codemol, which make you sleepy.
I have an appointment to see the surgeon on 7th March but my results may be ready next Friday, the 1st. so I will ring my BCN that day. She gave them to me over the phone last time.
Good news indeed about no vascular involvement - that is one crucial and encouraging detail the medics often forget to tell us, and why I insist on a copy of the path report. My initial path report said no evidence of vascular invasion, but not one person has ever told me this!! I wish you the best of luck and fingers crossed you have clear margins, no further surgery, and no chemo.
LS - Wow girl you made that anaesthetist work for his money! Hope you feel ok now …and YEY YEY YEY no node involvement!!! that is fantastic news. Won’t be long until the 7th and then you are well on the way to full recovery.
Lola - glad you op went better than LS. I know it feels like a long wait but til friday, I’m thinking of you x x x
Lola - certainly was an ordeal (for him anyway…obviously I was oblivious until after the event)…lucky you making it home for 1pm…I too was first on the list but I think I held things up by being complicated… .
Yesterday I didnt feel any pain at all, today I must admit I ache abit, they asked me if I wanted meds to take away and I said no i’d make do with paracetamol, they gave me codeine too, which last night and today I am grateful for…!! I didnt sleep so well on Friday night, having come round after the op I them fought to stay awake all day…I figured that if the surgeon came round and found me sleeping soundly he’d leave me be until Saturday morning and I wanted to be discharged…!! lol, when I finally got to bed on Friday night I think I was overtired and in an effort to comply with the nurses requests to get plenty of fluids down me (I just doo everything they tell me in an attempt to be released) I spent the night getting up and down to the bathroom…last night was a better night though…slept for 12 hours in total, it was very much needed sleep.
I totally agree regarding the vascular involvement, they had this info at my follow up appointment on 13th Feb, but only told me that there was no node involvement, I asked prior to my op this time around about vascular involvement and it was then the BCN told me there was none, I was surprised that they hadnt mentioned it themselves at my follow up appointment since alot of the literature available in the waiting room mentions both lymphatic and vascular. I think in future I will be asking for a copy of my path report too…!! Good luck with your results…fingers are crossed for you and let us know how you get on.
Meemoo - How did you get on Thursday…?? Have they given you a treatment plan…?? If so I hope its put your mind at rest alittle as to what you can expect over the next few weeks/months…keep us posted…we are all here for you…
thinking of you all, Laura xx
So glad you got some well deserved sleep - that makes us more able to cope.
Told me on thursday that they saw 4 more tumours but they don’t think I have an node involvement - they will do a biopsy next sunday (3rd march), then an MX on the 18th. I was expecting to get a treatment plan regarding chemo etc but they haven’t got that far with me yet - I just want to know what will happen … all this waiting is hard, but we have to stay positive.
Hi everyone,
first day as a member on this site and just started reading threads, I’m still at a lost don’t know what I feel at the moment. I felt my lump on the 3rd, being lucky to work in the nhs, a breast consultant saw me on the 5th and had mammogram,uss and biopsy. I was told straight away from the mammogram result that I have cancer. I already had my ct scan and bone scan and luckily, they are all ok, no mets. Got my biopsy result on the 15th aha confirmed grade 3 idc, aggressive and has necrotic area in the middle 4cm. So I opted for mastectomy then chemo which I had last Wednesday with lymph node bx. I have my post op appointment on the 8th to make a plan for chemo and what type I need and discuss result of lymph node bx. I am 41 and just started to plan a family before I was diagnosed so I was referred to fertility clinic in barts straight away. I was just told on Thursday that I would need to self fund my fertility treatment because I am on my 40’s and that just hit me all the way, taken away my hope. it is very expensive and we are not prepared for this financially so I envy u guys who already have kids. I am trying to find out if I can get any help anywhere but if not, I guess I would just need to learn how to cope with it. It is so frustrating but it is helpful to read everybody’s thoughts, advice and experiences reassuring that I am not alone in this situation.
thanks.
Hi Maria
I’m so sorry that you have had this happen. It does seem that they are doing everything very quickly with you which is really good news. I am 39 and already have two children who I look after on my own, yes I am lucky - I know this.
I would say that this experience has taught me already that you just don’t know what is around the next corner. I’m pretty sure that it has been in the news this week that they are going to/might offer one round of IVF to women in there 40’s. If this is the case then you may get help. I am not sure if you may qualify for extra help if you have fertility problems due to chemo - there may be extra help out there.
But as I said - we don’t know what is around the corner in life. Beat this and you can do anything! Certainly don’t start thinking that you won’t ever have children - there is every possibility that you will. You may get offered IVF or your financial circumstances may unexpectidly change. At the moment you should just concentrate on living each day and have hope for the future you and your husband dreamed of.
I’m so sorry you find yourself in this club. The club no-one wants to join. I have seen many posts on this forum about people in your situation having their eggs frozen before chemo starts. I didn’t realise it was for younger women only, and maybe because chemo is involved there are different rules? Have you checked this? What a horrible situation to be in. I am so sorry.
A biopsy on a Sunday Victoria??!!! Blimey, that is a turn up.
Well done LS for getting 12 hours sleep - will have done you the world of good.
Hi Victoria, thanks a lot. I did mention about the nice recommendation but apparently, it is at the moment just a recommendation and the current pct criteria still holds. I have spoken to my breast cancer nurse and she said she’ll find out if they could help in any way. I am glad I started writing on this site, it helps a lot. And u are right, beat this and I can do anything. I am lucky that I have a supportive partner who said he doesn’t love me any less now that I only have one breast and if we won’t have any children. It is just heart breaking that u face cancer and possibility of not having children goes with it. But thank u so much, it gives me strength to read all the stories and realise I am not alonthis world world suffering this despair.
Hi Maria,
So sorry you have found yourself in this club full of lovely ladies, as Lola says this is the one club no one wants to join but unfortunately find ourselves here. I’m 3 days post re-excision get my results 7th March. Was dx end of Dec that was the day I got on this roller coaster ride.
Have a look on the Macmillan site there is a lot of helpful information on there and there may be something regarding fertility, it’s definitely worth having a look.
What ever you do don’t give up on the planning there is always the possibility of IVF never give up! You will get through this just like the rest of us we are all going to beat this. Be strong be positive and you will come out the other side of this journey
Laura, 12 hours sleep is fab can you send me your sleep fairy over to me please
Take care ladies xxx
Hi Lyn, thanks a lot. Didn’t have much sleep overnight as I have been thinking. I have read a lot of articles about fertility yesterday and generally,they would recommend 2 years after treatment if your planing to be pregnant. By that time, i would be 43 so I think it would be too late anyway. maybe I’ll just leave it to fate on what silly happen after my treatment.
So sorry to read this Maria, I’m 40 with no children yet too, I wouldnt go as far as to say we were actively trying before my diagnosis but having a family has always been on our minds and I guess we just both expected that one day we would probably go on to have a child and even if we didnt we always had that option, my diagnosis somewhat took that out of our hands, I like you am ER+, so am looking at Tamoxifen for the next 5 years, which will take me to 46…so I think realistically for me I have just got to concerntrate on my treatment and put aside any thoughts of a family, that may be easier for me than it would be for you, everyone is different and I certainly wouldnt disregard the thought of ever having a family because of your treatment, just take everything a day at a time, there’ll be so much going on in your head at the moment having just joined this rollercoaster…just take the time and speak to your BCN & ONC they will be able to best advise you…but never say never xx
43 is not toooooo old. You could make a wonderful mother at that age - and just think how strong you will be after this. I know I have said it before but keep hold of your dreams - do not let your thoughts at such a stressful time take them away.
We spend so much of our time worrying about the things that will never happen, and I know that we are all in a worrying place right now - but please be kind to yourself. The future is just that - a place where we get what we dreamed of and some twists and turns along the way. You are very lucky to have such a wonderful partner and he obviously thinks that he is blessed with you.
Don’t spend time worrying about 2 years down the line just yet, the rules on IVF will I expect change at somepoint and be in your favour. I have a friend who was told she would never have children and that IVF would be a waste of time - she concieved her son nautrally! All those worries were just wasted.
Keep posting and we will keep suporting each other
. However, after the inital shock, bang, whallop, I hope you are starting to come back down to planet earth - I know that I seem to have been on planet panic these last few weeks.
, my last op on 7th they said I had to tell them in furture I was difficult to intubate, this anesthetist said that was an understatment and for the first time in his career he actually considered calling the op off…!! I will now be armed with a letter for any further planned surgery…explaining how difficult I am, apparently for a number of reasons, windpipe not straight, throat tight, mucus restricted camera view, full set of my own teeth (I thought that was an asset…!! lol) and small mouth (hahahaha my OH would definitley argue that 1…!!) and oxygen levels dropped quickly which allowed him only 30-45 seconds to get the tube in place, he tried twice, then got a colleague involved, they agreed to try a final time and if it failed on last attempt to call the op off, fortunately the last attempt was successful, I know by the pain that they tried ‘hard’ though…!!