Diagnosed today with Invasive Ductal Cancer

Hi everyone, I am 41 years old and today have received devasting news from biopsy results that I have Invasive Ductal Cancer, which is also lymph node positive. I have spoken to my close friends and family today too. I am trying to come to terms with it with my husband, but am so confused by all the information.  I feel so sad for my future and my gorgeous 2 yo daughter. The Consultant said my tumour is sensitive to oestrogen, so the cancer is feeding of it and it’s stage 2-3. They want to start chemo ASAP they said, rather than surgery first, but did say if I wanted surgery first I could and then have chemo. Do most people have chemo first and then surgery? Would like to hear from people’ as feeling useles and don’t want to google but need to do something.  Should I have chemo first, part of me would like a full mastectomy to remove it all. Thank you.

Hi Millasmummy

I am 46 and have 2 children. And I can say I worry about my kids more than anything else, that’s just natural for a mum.
I had a very similar diagnoses to yourself yesterday. But I have not had my lymph nodes tested yet. Er+ her2+.
My oncologist discussed this with me also. And was happy to do it either way round. everyone is different. So I would probably go with what he recommends. I have decided to go with surgery , full masectomy first. Still deciding whether to go for reconstruction. Unfortunately lumpectomy could not be done as i first hoped as area to be removed was a bit too large. I feel I will cope better that way round, knowing the cancer is away and then chemo to make sure it does not come back.
It is a very scary emotional journey.

Best to discuss with oncologist again or BCN so you can make a fully informed decision.

Vintage x

So sorry that you find yourself here Millasmummy.


I’m afraid I’m not much help to you regarding your question as to whether your should surgery or chemotherapy first. I was lucky in that my lump was small, although found out today that it is stage 3, and was given a lumpectomy. Chemo was not in my original treatment plan but is probably going to be now as I’m also HER2 positive.


If you feel you would rather have a mastecomy before chemo, then tell them. It’s your body and your illness. If they think you should do it the other way around then ask them to explain their reasons.


Good luck and Best Wishes.



I’m so sorry to hear about your diagnosis. This cancer can appear in so many different forms. It’s frightening to hear you have it but everyone on here is so kind and welcoming.
Only you can decide what is best for you. I’ve had surgery (a lumpectomy and a sentinel node biopsy) but need chemo now as it has spread to my lymph nodes. I will then have more surgery to remove all the lymph nodes then will have radiotherapy.
The last thing I wanted was to lose my full breast at the start but I suppose I would do whatever my consultant advises me to do as he knows what is the best treatment for me.
I think Chemo first helps to reduce the size and stop it growing so it’s easier to stop it in its tracks so to speak.
(I’m very new to this myself so I apologise if I’m wrong)
Whatever you decide, the outlook is good. Ladies survive this. There are positive stories and sad stories on here. This site has been a godsend to me. I feel more in control of what could happen. I would read as much as you can so you are prepared for what is to come.
Good luck to you xx

I know how you are feeling as I was there 8 weeks ago and all you think of is your kids it’s still the shock of it all unless your going through it nobody can comprehend what it’s like I have 3 children 9,7. & 3 . I found out on a routine operation they took my lump out before I even knew I had a lump then got told it was cancer grade 3 had to have another operation on the nodes and scrape I started chemo last week and all is good once you start treatment and operations you will get stronger took me a week of solid crying to pull myself up as for your decision go on advice of your doctor they deal with this day in day out they will know what’s best xx take care

Hi millasmum,  sorry you have found your way here but it is a fantastic place for support. I was diagnosed in February  (after a bit of protracted journey! ), I am 48 with 2 10 yr olds and gave to say nothing can prepare you for being given the news that you gave cancer my brain went into overdrive. What I would say is that it does get better when you have a clear treatment plan, write lists of questions, utilise your bc nurse, take someone with you to appointments and stick to sites like this, macmillan etc rather than Dr Google as you will scare yourself silly.

As to descions regarding treatment these are agreed between you and the oncology/surgical team who are part of a multidisciplinary  team that discuss each case. I would be asking them what they thought was appropriate for you and your circumstances and take it from there.  I am halfway through chemo and whilst not high on my wish list if things to do it is doable. Sending hugs x

Thank you Vintage for your reply. Part of me wants a full mascetomy too, but I should probably follow the advice of the experts. I’m going to see the oncologist tomorrow so will have a good chat then. It is indeed a scary journey and also I an paranoid of aches and pains that I have and worried it has spread, I put it down to carrying my lg around but now everything I feel I think is connected to BC. Paranoid I guess. Hugs to you too xx

Thank you so much everyone who has replied. It is so comforting to speak to someone in the same position. I have moments when I’m overwhelmed by the diagnosis and other moments I am numb and in auto pilot then I’m crying again. I have also decided not to google anything and just stick to this website. Thanks again and hugs to you all.