Hello everyone.
My name is Sheila and I am 54 with 2 children and 5 grandchildren
I returned from hospital at 1.30 shell shocked. first thought was to go online and find out as much as I can about my condition.
I have no lumps or any of the usual symptoms. Went for a routine mammogram a week last friday, received appointment on Wednesday for today. I was convinced that I was fine so did not worry.
was given a needle biopsy and 10 core biopsies.
I was told to come back in 1 hour.
Apparently I have calsification in most of my right breast and will be given a masectomy within 3 weeks.
Can anyone tell me how long it takes to sink in because cannot get my head around this. Just feel numb, can’t cry, don’t want to tell anyone. Do I go into work tomorrow? How do I tell my kids? How do I comfort my husband?
Sorry if this is not in the spirit of this forum,think I am in shock
Hello Sheila
There is no right or wrong way to react to the result. You will be shell shocked as we all have been on hearing the news. I would say that you should tell your husband, hopefully he will be your strongest support. You will need someone to lean on. Your family I am sure would be upset to know you hadn’t told them as for your employer well you will have to mention it as you will probably be off work for a while.
Right now you don’t know which way to turn but believe me you will get through this and are a lot stronger than you give yourself credit for. Take one day at a time, don’t try to think about yesterday or tomorrow but live through each moment of the present. Hard I know, easier said than done i know but it kind of worked for me. I wish you all the bestxx
Hello Glossy
Thank you so much.
Since I posted earlier I have told my husband. He is upset but positive. We will go through this together and as you say take each day as it comes.
I do feel better having read so many ladies experiences on here today.
Hope you are well xx
Hi Sheila, its almost too much to take it all at one go, but there are many wonderful ladies and men on this site willing to hold your hand and give you guidance. Just try to take one little step at a time. Sending you hugs tonight. x
Sheila, of course you will be in shock! I was diagnosed at a one stop breast clinic and felt totally stunned from this life changing news. The OH was equally stunned. My lovely GP must have had a fax from the hospital because as soon as I was home she rang for a chat and was very supportive. I remember just wanting to go to bed and staying there. I didn’t go into work the next day on the doctors advice. Try to keep from googling anything and stay on this site where you will get lots of support. Dx day is over and you WILL feel better as you will soon have a treatment plan and can move forward. Sending you hugs and hoping your family will be a tremendous support to you xx
Hi Sheila - reading your post reminded me so much of how I felt when i was diagnosed. I couldn’t face work at all after I was so weepy, I wouldnt have been able to function and my head was all over the place. i went to the docs and got some sleeping tablets too as I couldnt sleep and used to wake at 3am thinking really dark thoughts.
I can’t tell you how best to deal with family and friends - I didnt want to speak to anyone at all and my husband rang round - I spoke to my boss at work and got him to tell everyone and asked people not to ring me until I was feeling a bit stronger.
Like Glossy says take one day at a time, be kind to yourself and you will get through it. I phoned my Breast care nurse the following day and had a long session with her where she explained it all to me and that made me feel so much better.
This site is good too and you will get loads of support and practical advise on how to deal with almost anything that crops up.
anyhow 12 months down the line down I am feeling really good - will never get over the fact I have had breast cancer but there is light at the end of the tunnel, it may look bleak now but there is an end to it all I promise xx
Hi Sheila,
The Breast Cancer Care Helpline can provide information and support if you feel it would be helpful to talk to someone in confidence, tel. 0808 800 6000 Mon to Fri 9am-5pm and Sat 9am - 2pm
With best wishes,
Anna, BCC Facilitator
Hi Sheila,
I am sorry you have had to join this club, that no-one wants to be in. I joined it after my first routine mammogram in Dec, I was recalled very quickly and then seemed to be on a rollercoaster ride that didn’t have any brakes. My surgeon wanted to operate the following week but I couldn’t cope with that and had surgery 2 weeks later instead just before new year. The rollercoaster has now slowed down and I’m in the chemo stage.
As lots of others have said tell your husband, he’s going to hopefully be your best support and he can also use this site for support and information. My kids have used it and found it helpful for them.
I went into work the day after my diagnosis, if only to get some “normality” in my life and this really helped me. Plus, I work with severely disabled students and they always put my life issues back into perspective. However you need to do what’s best for you, as has been suggested, take it one day at a time, and I’m presuming you have had to tell someone there why you’ve had time off for hospital appointments. Depending how large your employers are the HR staff are there for you and are used to dealing with these issues.
Everyone on this site will support you and your BCN is also there.
Thinking of you and sending you a huge hug.
Love
Helenxx
Sheila, I was last October where you are now. Your post reminded me so much of how I felt. All I can say is that after WLE on both breasts in November followed by a bilateral mastectomy in December I am sitting here tonight feeling fine. Allow it all to sink in before you start breaking the news to everyone else. Today is one of the hardest you will experience. Things will start to settle soon and once your treatment starts you will feel better about things.
Best of luck for the future
Rose
HI Shelia, really sorry you had to join us on here. Yeh, shock it was for me I think -and the urgent need to know stuff. Don’t google tho, just get your info on here, much better quality and less scary. Just to say my MX was not a difficult operation physically at all - just in case you were wondering. Just now there is lots to get your haad round, but there are times for some of that later. Lots of good threads on here about talking to others, what to say to colleagues etc,
and most important - be good to yourself,
best wishes nicola
Hi Sheila
Big hugs to you. What a shock to have to deal with but I’m glad you’ve told your OH and that you have support. I only came here for the first time at the weekend following diagnosis and operation but people here are lovely and we will always be here for you as you go through the next few weeks and months.
Sending love
Kathy
Thank you to everyone for your kind comments.
I feel so much better today, I have been to my GP and had a long chat. She has explained things in greater detail, and I am going to calm down and take things as they come from now on. I think this site is going to be my home from home for a long time and I look forward to the day when I can help someone the way you all helped me yesterday.
love and hugs
Sheila
Hi Sheila,
Welcome from me!
The waiting bits and the telling-you-the-news bits are often the worst. Once you know what’s happening, many of us have found it’s actually a lot easier. I’m about 2 months into treatment for a trickier sort of breast cancer, with a good few months to go.
Take it easy on yourself.
Surround yourself with as many lovely people as you can, because it really helps you get through this.
love and hugs back
Ann x
Dearest Sheila
This is a belated warm welcome from me, sorry you have had to join us but you are in the good company.
I read your original post with a tear as it reminded me of how shocked I was four weeks ago when I found out that I had breast cancer and the implications of it all. Four weeks (or just over) down the line and I have had my lumpectomy and Sentinel Lymph Node Biopsy and am attending hospital next week hoping for clear margins (no cells close to edge of tissue taken around the lump). As stated by others the “waiting room” is the worst place to be and you do at times feel completely alone. Just talk to us on here as it is the life saver for us all at these difficult times. But one sure thing is we can cry together and then laugh together, supporting one another at all times no matter what.
Try to be positive, glad you had a long chat with GP and that you feel more at ease now. Never forget we are all here for you and take the strength you need from us whenever you need it.
Lots of love & hugs
Tracy xxx
Hi
I am where Tracy is and it still hasn’t sunk in! Not sure if that helps. I keep thinking it should have sunk in, especially after surgery but it still hasn’t.
I know it has happened mostly as those that know have treated me differently - my children, bless them, phone me every day as opposed to when they need a loan! I am very lucky to have them, and a lovely partner, I feel so much for anyone who has to go through this alone.
Take care.
Sarah
x
Hi
the first bit is the worst. You’ll get your head around it and be like the rest of us before you can say Jack Robinson! At times its a roller coaster, at other times its all in slowmo. Weird.It does help to talk, to family etc, but its also good to ask the things you can’t ask anyone who hasn’t been through the same thing or vent your spleen a little. Thats where this place comes in. Keep posting, we’ve all been where you are at the moment. Waiting is also bad. Having stuff done is never as bad as the anticipation.
Thinking of you
Nicky x
It’s 2.10 am and I am awake thinking about tomorrow and meeting my surgeon I will find out when my surgery is going to happen.
I feel like such a coward but I really am terrified. I have never been emotionally strong and make a fool of myself at the slightest provocation. No one seems to mind the core biopsies, I found the whole process traumatic. If I cannot even cope with that how am I going to manage over the next months.
They say it is always darkest before the dawn, I think this may be too much for me. Has anyone ever refused to have a mx I wonder.
The biopsies are traumatic, so don’t worry you’re not alone…
You’ve had so much to digest, I’m not surprised you’re unable to sleep. I really do hope you don’t have to go into work later today.
This is no time to think about work.
Put yourself first and try and decide what you need to do.
I just hid under the duvet!
You might not think it appropriate…
However, you choose how you are going to digest this news. I’m sure you’re numb and in shock. I’m afraid we’ve all been there…
Be gentle with yourself and whatever you decide to do it is right for you…however, keep talking and reading posts here.
Other women’s views might highlight what you really want!
I had a mx but only after two previous ops so it wasn’t the horrible shock you’ve been through.
I hated the reality of the mx but knew it was the only way forward to get rid of the cancer. I’m not brave either and I became more an more fragile as my date got nearer…
I felt I had no choice but to save my own life and I couldn’t have lived with the cancer getting worse inside my body if I’d left it…
It would have driven me wild with fear.
The mx is a huge decision and I never thought I could sign the consent form but I did! I’m 14 months on and recovered from the operation but I still miss my breast.
However, I loved my life more…
Take heart, you will come through this awful shock.
We are all testament of that fact.
I hope you manage some rest tonight and find out more information to help you decide.
Wx
Hi Sheila
I’m so sorry about your news it literally turns your world upside down doesn’t it. Big hugs and wrap around cuddles from me to you xx Remember to be gentle with yourself, you are in shock and bound to be scared but it does get a bit better. When I can’t sleep usually at the witching hour of 4 am, I log on here and read through the posts and I know that I’m not alone which is a great comfort. My OH and my children are the best and although they’re worried too, I’ve shared everything with them and they’ve given me so much love and support I could cry thinking about it! I too was diagnosed about 3 weeks ago and told that I have to have a mx pretty soon. I should find out the date today. Like you in the beginning I was scared at the thought of any operations and couldn’t stop crying, I was a big ball of snotty dribble for about a week or so… To say that I’m petrified of anaesthetics is an understatement but now I’m just beginning to calm down although I do still have some dark moments which I would think is a natural reaction for everyone. Everything seems to happen so quickly with hardly any time to think straight or make any decisions but I’m taking each day as it comes and chunking things down into smaller sized pieces which are easier to deal with. So far I have gone through the thought process of: refusing to have the SNB, refusing to have the mx and refusing to have a reconstruction just because I’m scared. In the end I chose to go ahead because I want to live and so far I’ve had the SNB, and I’m nearly two weeks on from that doing fine, and I will soon be having the rest done. For me it’s all about having the information so that I can be in control and make my own decisions. I have the most fantastic GP who, so far has been very supportive and he’s not bad looking either, always a bonus 
I smoked my last cigarette on Tuesday so I’m having a battle with myself to conquer that too but so far so good.
Lots of virtual hugs Gilly xxx
Hi Sheila
As well as the support you are receiving from the other users you may find it useful to have the BCC resources pack. It has been specifically designed for those people newly diagnosed and is filled with information to help you better understand your diagnosis, test results and the various treatments available. If you would like to order this just follow the link below:-
breastcancercare.org.uk/heal … tionId/82/
I hope you find this helpful.
Best wishes Sam, BCC Facilitator