I think I was expecting it really, but after a week of waiting for my biopsy results I have been told I have cancer in the breast and lymph glands and have to have further scans to see if it has spread. Happy to take things as they come but dreading telling my children tonight. Sounds like I am having Chemo first then the op later. Have been reading all your comments and it looks like a good place to come for a bit of ‘getting things off your chest’!
Karen
Karen,
So sorry youve found yourself on here. Its one hell of a thing to get your head round isn’t it? And as you say, the hardest thing Ive ever had to do, was tell my, then, 15 year old son. A conversation NO mother EVER wants to have with her children.
But my advice, and I dont know how old your children are, is to be open and honest with them. Obviously they dont need to know every fine detail, but I think my son has coped better because I told him on day one it was cancer, not just a lump etc… And in fact, having to stay strong for him and infront of him has been a real help too.
Come on here whenever you “wobble”. Its a great support. We all know how you feel. You’re not alone. And although Im sure youve got some fabulous friends who will love and support you (I know I couldnt have got through the last 14 months without mine), as someone on here once said “If you haven’t GOT it, you dont GET it”. And its true.
We all Get it. So lean on us whenever you need to.
Keep in touch
Mandy xx
karenharris,
Welcome,
I second everything that Mangochutney says about how to tell your children and that honesty, really is the best way to go. My 14 year old took it quite well and I keep him updated without too much excessive detail.
I was diagnosed in February of this year and like you I am having chemo 1st and surgery to follow. To date I have had 3 chemos and it has been mostly fine. If you want to know anything about how I have gone on (as your treatment plan is similar) then I am happy to share some info.
Best Wishes
WS
Hi there. hugs and best if luck. I am just a few weeks ahead of you and have invasive ductal cancer, chemo first, then surgery, more cheno then rads. stil cant quite get to grips with it. went to a wig shop today to get get that sorted. when she put the wig cap on I got an idea how I wiuld look bald! Weird feeling, like a shop manniquin before they put their wigs on. please keep in touch.
Hi ladies a friend of mine has just been diagnosed yesterday and she feels like her world has fallen apart. I would just like to say to you that there is a light at the end of the tunnel and things will get better. I was diagnosed in Novemeber had the op December just before Xmas followed by radiotherapy and finished this March. Now 2 months on its all a bad memory, I am happier, dropped 2 dress sizes, changed my diet and concentrating on me. I view this as a wake up call not a death sentence and life is more or less back to normal ie back at work (only had 2 weeks off) and I am starting to “live” again. please believe me when I say you will do the same and it will be a nasty memory that is like child birth in that you will quickly forget about it! Love to all and best wishes xxxxx
Hi ladies a friend of mine has just been diagnosed yesterday and she feels like her world has fallen apart. I would just like to say to you that there is a light at the end of the tunnel and things will get better. I was diagnosed in Novemeber had the op December just before Xmas followed by radiotherapy and finished this March. Now 2 months on its all a bad memory, I am happier, dropped 2 dress sizes, changed my diet and concentrating on me. I view this as a wake up call not a death sentence and life is more or less back to normal ie back at work (only had 2 weeks off) and I am starting to “live” again. please believe me when I say you will do the same and it will be a nasty memory that is like child birth in that you will quickly forget about it! Love to all and best wishes xxxxx
I’m a week and a day into my diagnosis- I’m due for surgery next week. Can’t believe it’s only been 8 days! I am so sorry that you are eligible to join this very inclusive - excusive club! But the support here is brilliant!
My heart goes out to you having to tell your children. I agree it ranks as probably the worst thing ever, I would have done anything to protect mine from the pain and upset it causes, but I would agree with the other ladies, be honest. Our youngest son is just doing end of year exams at university and I really didn’t want to put him through this now , but I did and I’m glad I did because once it was out there we could deal with it better and after the initial shock he is ok - not great but ok and the university have provided support too.
Take courage from knowing they love you and that will help to ease the pain, there will be lots of us thinking of you
Take care xx
Hi Karen
As well as the support you are receiving from the other users you might find it helpful to read the BCC booklet on talking to children. This booklet has been written to help and support people who need to talk to children about breast cancer, if you would like to order a copy or read this on line just follow this link:-
www2.breastcancercare.org.uk/publications/diagnosed-breast-cancer/talking-your-children-about-breast-cancer-bcc50
I hope you find this helpful.
Best wishes Sam, BCC Facilitator
Wow, I have just read all your supportive messages, just been diagnosed and waiting the next stages to see a plan of action. MRI and sentinel node biopsy to come first I think. Considering myself lucky to have a supportive family , my children were amazing, and great friends.Think the waiting is worse thing, just want to get on with it and move forward. MRI should be next Wednesday but still to hear. Will be following everyone on here and wishing you all the strength you need.xx