Diagnosed with Grade 3 at 30 arrrggghhh!!!

Posted on behalf of Victoria:

Hi All,
I have recently been diagnosed with grade 3 cancer, i am to have surgery, chemotherapy, radiotherapy and anti hormone treatment, Only gotr the results monday and feel like the bottom has fell out of my world. I have such a supportive partner and family/friends, just need some guidance for the days a head.

Hi I was diagnosed in 2009 with a grade 3 at 29. Had the surgery, chemo, and radio. No hormone treatment as it was a tripple negative. I totally understand how you feel. It’s like someone just ran over you with a bus. I’ve just past the 2 year anniversary of the end of my chemo. The next few months are going to be tough, I’m not going to lie to you, but it can be done. You need to be kind to yourself and give yourself time. There really are no rules to how you deal with it. You will get upset, but you will laugh too. People will drive you nuts but mostly they mean well. The best advice I can give is listen to the doctors. If you suffer from bad side effects during chemo speak to your nurse because they can help, you don’t need to put up with them. I was very luck with my side effects during chemo and I am grateful for that. I used the cold cap so I didn’t loose all my hair, I kept enough to get me by. If you have any questions then feel free to send me a message, I will help if I can.

Thank you Kells80, it really helps to have people who know what im going through there to offer support. Im sure with the stregnth that i have and the support of my friends and family I will get through the tough times ahead.


Hi Victoria and welcome to the BCC forums

In addition to the support you have here please feel free to call our helpline lines open 9-5 weekdays and 10-2 Sat on 0808 800 6000 and our team are here to offer you further support and information.

The following link will take you to the BCC ‘Newly diagnosed’ information page where you will further support ideas and information which I hope you will find useful:


Take care


Hi Victoria
I am 36 and was diagnosed at the end of May with Grade 2 IDC. I also had positive node biopsy results. Like you my world fell apart. You will go through all the stages, denial (I accused the lab of mixing the results with somebody elses!), anger, the floods and floods of tears, then finally the acceptance that there is very little you can do but fight this damn thing hard. I am a nurse, so knowing too much was worse! I went straight to ‘I am going to die’ even though the had told me it was treatable. It consumed my every waking second. The fear of not being around to see my 3 year old boy grow up was the worst. I have had my surgey this week, wide local excision and mammoplasty, which removes more breast tissue than usual excision, plus full node clearance. Not feeling too sore and just keep thinking, one down two to go. I too will have chemo and rads and hope that all will be done by christmas. You will think you are going mad. You will want to tell every woman you meet to check their boobs as you don’t want anyone else to feel the way you do right now. Then, like me, you may hate the sight of every other woman because you have breast cancer and they don’t. Its gets easier day by day. I still cry, I still worry about what the future will hold but it does stop consuming your every thought soon. You are not alone and this site is a great way to express your thoughts, no matter how crazy you may think they are. Try not to do too much research on the internet because you end up scaring yourself stupid. Listen to what your doctor and breast care nurse tell you.
Stay positive, although that may seem impossible to do at the moment. Thinking of you.

Hi Victoria,
Im 36 and was diagnosed in March with grade2 DCIS. My nodes were clear after having sentinel node biopsy and I am now 10 weeks post mastectomy and immediate LD reconstruction. I thought it was all plain sailing after that… Only to discover at an appointment that they found lesions within the DCIS now making it IDC with oestrogen positive. It all sucks to be honest, and like Mandyj said my world fell apart. I suddenly thought oh god what about my children - I have a four year old and a 18th month old. I had my first session of chemo a week ago, and it went ok. This site really is a wonderful family. I couldn’t help notice that at my appointments I was the youngest and this really upset me. This site has made me realise I am not alone and I’ve made some wonderful friends. It is daunting, but we are all here to hold your hand and you are not alone.

I know it is a little cliche but we are all in this togther. Our journey’s are all individual but we walk them together. I am 10 years older than you but have young children and, for me, that was the hardest bit - how would I tell them? How would they cope? But we told them and they are coping fine. I had a mastectomy and total node clearance and am now just waiting to start my chemo. Rollercoaster is a word that is used a lot but that is what it is like. At the moment you are probably in shock but things settle down. We are all here for each other and this is the first place I come when I have a question (and my BCN of course). It is rubbish, none of us want to be here, but here we are - lets fight it and be kind to ourselves and each other!

Hi Victoria,
I was diagosed with Grade 3 in 2004, I was 43…a little older than you I know.
It is devestating, and you have a long journey ahead of you, I was diagnosed on a Friday so had the weekend to go through without being able to talk to anyone ( didn’t have internet then).
I had surgery, chemo, rads and Tamoxifen for 5 years…I didn’t think I could/would get through it, but I did, It isn’t easy and you will go through a mixture of emotions etc., but there is always someone available on here to offer support etc.,…hopefully you will have a good BCN ( I did fortunately) and she will be able to offer ongoing support and advice.
At the moment you wil not be able to see the end of the tunnel, but believe me please you will eventually.

hi all,
I am so full of admiration for all of you youngsters dealing with this rotten disease at the same time as bringing up young children.It was hard enough telling my grown up girls when i was diagnosed but how you cope with kids at the same time as having chemo is something i cant imagine doing.Its amazing the inner strength we find when faced with adversity.This site is also amazingly helpful,good luck to you all,

Hi Victoria,
It’s nearly a year ago now since I was diagnosed with IDC aged 30. Without wanting to repeat everyone else’s helpful advice, the last year has flown by and life is starting to feel a bit more normal now. Admittedly it is a ‘new normal’ but breast cancer is not the only thing I think about now. I had 3 operations then chemo and I’m now ploughing my way through a year of herceptin and it has been tough at times but already the operations feel like a long time ago. I’m planning stuff to do later in the year and what style to have my hair when it re grows a bit longer, I’ve been back to work as well part time. I guess what I’m trying to say is that I’m sure you will get used to your new situation it just takes time to adapt, and like others have said there is light at the end of the tunnel and you will be back to doing the things you enjoy again. Take care xx

Me again
Just re read your post and realised you wanted advice for the few days ahead and there I was talking a year ahead! Everyone’s different but I worked up til the day before my operation to keep busy and to do something normal. I also got myself a new pair of pjs and dressing gown as a treat and a new book to take into hospital. I was out of hospital the same day. A couple of days later I was out walking the dog on short walks although going to the supermarket left me feeling frazzled so it did take a little while to get back to normal. If you get any nausea from the anaesthetic do tell the nurses as they can stop it before you feel sick as there is no need to be sick and suffer. Also have a think about what you are going to wear the day you leave hospital and the few days after, you arm may be stiff and sore, I made the mistake of having a fitted jumper, I would recommend loose clothing you can slip on and off easily. Hope that helps, if you want to know anything more just ask. Please don’t be nervous (I know easy to say) I really didn’t have any pain after my op, just had a couple of paracetamol and the scar was so neat as well. All the best xx

Hi All,

thank you again for the sound advice from you all, its nice to have support here and guidance to help us through the hard times.


Hi Victoria,

I was 34 years old when I was diagnosed with a grade 3 12 mm lump. My nodes were not affected but I am/was (nerver quite know what to say) HER2 responsive and I was told that this was an aggressive form of BC. I have had chemo, rads, & targated therapy ie Herceptin so any questions you may have please feel free to fire away at me. You will get some great support on her from woman who know exactly how you feel. I know it seems a million miles away now but you will get through this I finished 18 months of treatment back in May this year and even in this short space of time between then and now I feel 100 times better, yes there will be very hard times during the chemo as it will more than likely knock you for six but hold on in there and remember the treatment is to make you better in a roundabout way.
Feel free to message me if you like.

Beccy xx

hi beccy

thank you for your guidance im sure i will have lots of questions for you during next few months