I’m so glad you are feeling as ready as you can be for it and I totally agree on the no offer of chemo would also be terrifying as your thoughts would constantly be on the Cancer reoccurring. Can’t win!!
That’s interesting that you have chose to tell only a few close people. I agree with people seeing you differently after saying rhetoric C word. Even my sisters I feel are not the same around me or they don’t know what to say. It’s kind of sad but hopefully it’s something that passes over time.. I have told mainly close my family and close friends. My work don’t know and I’m so anxious about having to tell them if I do need chemotherapy… I’ll cross that bridge when I come to it.
What are the good wig companies you’ve found? I’ve been researching that too and also some good eyebrow products.! Lookat browaidofficial on instagram. pretty cool eyebrow pens with a brush that looks so realistic.
I think my oncology appointment will be next week so maybe 20th January..
Have they spoken to you about fertility etc yet? I know you mentioned before you had completed your family but wondered if you were thinking any different.
Oh well that’s probably a good thing to be honest as it takes doctors opinions out of it and it will give a good analysis of whether chemo will be good for you or not.! xx
Hey @holliet91 they really can’t win can they but at least now it’s going for the oncotype test I should have a definitive answer that will be analyzed properly not just based on opinion. I think that’s something that has been bothering me although I had come round to the idea it was all just feeling like lets just go for it because she’s young (which wasnt actially the case), they had a really rushed MDT meeting and apparently had 53 results to get through because of the christmas backlog so when they ran it through the predict tool at yhe meeting it came up with a benefit of 6% but before our call he luckily ran it through again and it said 4.6% so he said it must of been a small error on the one at the MDT but I’m very glad it was run through again!!!
Yeah I couldn’t bare the thought of all the Mums on the school run and friends treating me differently and constantly asking how I am etc I think I’ve just wanted to crack on as normal and not talk about it! I chose not to tell my Dad and brother straight away because I wanted more of a treatment plan before I broke the news and then by the time I actually had a plan it was nearly Christmas necause of all the extra tests that I wasn’t expecting, and my brother was moving into his first house that they have honestly saved up for forever and waited so long to finally be in I didn’t want to cloud everybodies December but I had lots of support with my Mum, husband and mother in law alongside my daughters keeping me busy haha!
I’m sure it will change once you get the next bit of treatment out of the way hopefully everything will feel back to some kind of normality. I don’t even think people realise they’re doing it! Is it a big company you work for or small one?
One of them is called Rare Gen Hair Official, they’re around £500 but look so natural! I’ll definitely be getting one if I have to go down the chemo route, have a look at them on instagram. Ohhh I’ll have a look the brow pens too!! That was my next issue eyebrows and eyelashes
Hopefully 20th will come round really quick for you!!
Yeah they have mentioned it a couple of times but I’m pretty certain we’re done with children now, my heart seriously goes put to people who have to consider fertility on top of all this. Have you had any more thoughts? Xx
@holliet91@katie91 so it’s over tg Results of surgery all good. Clear margins. Removed everything. No spread. Nothing in nymp nodes Was buzzing until she say type was nasty TNBC. and if I had not gone for mammogram I’d b in some trouble today. . So all cancer gone. BUT was aggressive and they are now recommending chemo following by radium for the best long term outcome. I’m traumatized but need to focus on how lucky I am Early detection and it’s gone. I’m sad cus I so only wanted radium cus I’m vain But I’ll just have to plod along and tell myself it could be worse. Hope u girl’s r doing ok. Where r ye both from. ?? I’m in Ireland
How long did they say until your oncotype results are back? I’ve just been looking at dates for me and it’s now been 12 weeks since I was diagnosed (end of October) and 6 weeks since I had surgery. Just feeling a bit antsy about the length of time my results are taking to come back and considering I definitely want to speak to them about fertility ( It’s another added problem to this whole cancer diagnoses!) I’m not sure 100% sure I want a third child but I definitely don’t want that option taken out of my hands so I want to save my fertility (but again that all takes more time!!) I totally know what you mean for anyone that has yet to have children. It must be a really tough one to process having to go through all this and then having your fertility compromised. Breaks my heart.
I’ve been following Rare gen hair on Instagram too!. Thier wigs look really good. But also, another amazing wig brand based in London is Amber Jean (pricey but very realistic).
I’ve been listening to “you me and the big c” podcast which is very good to listen to. There’s one about chemotherapy on there and it’s an honest but positive podcast to listen to. (This is the one with Deborah James on it)
So i work for a relatively small company as a personal assistant for an artist/sculptor. It’s a really new job… I actually started it just after I found out my diagnoses in October. I have managed to hide it all from them so far even post surgery. If the treatment does interfere with my work I’ll just have to be honest and hopefully find a flexible way of working. My friend was a chemotherapy nurse and she said most people continue to work in her experience, but there are days that you find a pattern of feeling unwell and it’s just working that out. But everyone is so different and reacts differently to the chemo.
I may call the BCNs today to find out if my oncotype results are back as I’m eager to get treatment started now whatever that might be. It’s now been 3 months since diagnoses.xxxx
I’m sorry that it was not the outcome you had hoped for. If you can think of the positives in times like this, you caught it early and any treatment they recommend will give you more cancer free years. Sending you lots of love how are you feeling today? Have you had time to process it a bit?
Im also worried about the vanity side of things. Instagram has helped with that though… I’ve found good wig companies (Amber Jean wigs, Rare gen wigs) and also special eyebrow and lash products to help with that. Also, have your BCNs given you leaflets on holistic needs support etc. there is SO much help out there. But at the same time it’s ok to have a moment about it all. (I will certainly be having many moments if I have to go through the chemotherapy treatment).
Hi @holliet91 they said 10 days and it was sent Thursday just gone so not too long to wait! Has your oncotype result come back yet?
Have you spoke to your BCN about the fertility side? I remember on my very 1st appointment when I was diagnosed my BCN was kind of pushing about fertility but I wasn’t in the heads pace to really think about it and we’ve since discussed it and although we had decided we don’t want anymore children, like you, I don’t want that decision taken away from me. But I think it helped me that before all of this we had come to that decision so I know with me when I have doubts for sure its my mind playing tricks because the decision is not mine of you know what I mean. In every aspect we’ve spoke about we are just so comfortable with 2, this all just makes it very definite doesn’t it. I have spoken with her in another appointment though and discussed not preserving fertility, she said that can take a few weeks so I’d ring on Monday and get the ball rolling if you can.
Oh yes I saw Amber Jean wigs too and nearly had a heart attack at the cost BUT thought if I’m going down this route and will need to wear it for a year or so then its worth it!! I did think though knowing my luck I’d invest all that money into it and not lose a single piece of hair
That sounds like a very cool job! I posted a thread on here asking for positive chemo stories and quite a few ladies posted saying how they’d found it OK and carried on working/ looking after kids etc. One of them said she had to sleep from tea time on the day of chemo but after that 90% of the time she felt fine so that gave me hope I won’t be wiped out for 4 months straight! I’ll tag you in it.
Hope you got some info from the BCN, my BCN said the oncologist may still want a discussion with me about chemo even if my number is low so I’m fully gearing myself up for it!!
I have taken your advice and called the BCN about getting the ball rolling with the fertility side of things. Hopefully they get back to me tomorrow.
Is it just me or as it seems so likely that we will have chemo regardless of the oncotype score even if it’s low… it almost seems frustrating that we’ve had to wait for that result for it to be chemotherapy anyway!! But then, maybe the change the course of the chemo treatment or the type of drug depending on the result. I have my appointment on 29th January so it will all come to light then.
Also, my kids are so small I’m so worried about them bringing home illnesses! They haven’t had chicken Pox yet so I’m thinking they offer vaccines against that before you start chemo too. Which again takes more time.. there seems To be too much to think about! I would love for you to tag me in that thread about the positive chemotherapy stories, I think I need it
It’s all so nerve wracking going into the unknown. I’ve also had another health scare this week with a lump on my hand. They’re referring me to a specialist as I had a X-ray to check it out but they still don’t know what it is so praying it’s nothing sinister. The health anxiety is so awful. I’ve had a shit weekend if I’m honest as I’m so scared that it is related to this breast cancer.
Have you got your appointment date with the oncologist yet? Xxx
Morning @holliet91 oh thats great that you have reached out to discuss fertility. Let me know what they say.
I thought the same but from what I understand the number will help them determine best type of treatment and which chemo and gives a bigger picture. I thought the same when the BCN said the oncologist will still want a discussion with a low number I thought well whats the point but after reading up it makes more sense to have the full picture as the oncotype test tests all the genes and characters of the tumor which will determine what treatment is most effective and I suppose they could end up over treating with an aggressive treatment or vice versa by under treating. The way I’m looking at it is I’m still only 5 weeks post op and by 6ish weeks should have the result back which I think is roughly when they said either radio or chemo would start once fully healed. Not long for you now to wait!
Ive been thinking qbout all the illnesses too, my kids are ill all the time I’ll ask about the chicken pox vaccine as mine haven’t had them yet! I’ll tag you in the positive stories thread! A lady described it as a spa day and I’m fully sold on it
Oh noooo its so hard to not link every lump, bump and pain to what we’re going through but just remember theres hundred of other possibilities. My Mum had a lump not long ago on her hand and was really panicking, I cant remember the name of it but it turned put to be a benign type which they will remove if it gets too big as it can cause some issues with her fingers. Hopefully its something harmless but you are completely valid for feeling so anxious so sending you big hugs and lots of love!!
No I’ve not got an appoinent yet my BCN said she will phone me with pncotype results and I’ll have an appointment for in a couple of weeks with the oncologist
Sorry for the delayed reply and Thank you for the reassurance with the hand lump (!) I had an MRI on that and I’m still waiting for the results. Hoping it’s nothing sinister. But This situation just gives me health anxiety about everything!
So I had my meeting with the oncologist today. My oncotype score was low (15) which means chemotherapy wouldn’t necessarily benefit me. I will have radiotherapy for a week and tamoxifen for 5 years. So I feel quite relieved today. Still nervous about the tamoxifen but having read other people’s comments I think you just have to go with it and see if there any side effects and if they are not tolerable you can have a conversation with the BCNs or oncologist after 6 months ..
How are you doing? Have you had any more information on what’s next for treatment?
Hey @holliet91 that’s amazing news that you had a low oncotype score!! So happy for you!
I’m still waiting on mine it’s been 2 weeks today so hopefully they’ll be back early next week. My BCN said she’ll give me a ring as soon as she gets the score but did say of course I’ll need to sit down with my oncologist to talk about the next steps in detail. She knows I don’t like to be blindsided at appointments with results and prefer to know beforehand so I can think about it and at least have an idea. I’ve got an appointment with my oncologist on 12th Feb too so not too long and at least I should have an idea of my oncotype score before then too.
Really good that you only need a week of radiotherapy too! Are you pleased with your results?
I think it would be abnormal if all of this didn’t make us more health anxious! Let us know when you hear on your MR results
How are you? Did you manage to get your oncotype score from the BCNs?
I hope the oncology appointment goes well for you on Thursday. For me, the appointment felt like a bit of closure on the breast cancer story because you know for sure what’s going to happen at that point. Especially after all the waiting we have to do for results! it feels like that stops at least.
My radiotherapy starts at the end of Feb. I am taking part in a clinical trial so I will have 5 sessions of radiotherapy with an extra boost in those sessions. So I feel that’s a good outcome. I am taking tamoxifen now too. So it’s been nearly 2 weeks. I have noticed a few small hormonal changes - skin not looking great, some mood swings. I have got in touch with Breast Cancer Now for their someone like me service they offer so they link you up with someone in a similar situation. I’ll be speaking to her in a couple of weeks so I hope that is therapeutic for me. It feels like a lonely place sometimes when you aren’t surrounded by people in the same position.
I’m still waiting on the results of my hand lump. The anxiety of not knowing what that is yet is just agonising. I’m terrified of it being something serious. Just trying to keep my head on my shoulders with that at the moment. I definitely need some help managing the health anxiety going forward. It’s been tough.
I really hope you have a good outcome with the treatment but whatever it is it will be for the best anyway.
Hi I’m new here and just reaching out as I’m navigating this new world as I’m one week post diagnosis, I’m 35 and have two young boys aged 3 and 5. It’s hard not to start spiralling I have stage 2 IDC with a 5cm multi focal currently no node involvement but awaiting MRI and treatment plan. I don’t know what support to ask from family, I don’t know how to envision my life over the coming months, any advice please would be appreciated thank you xxxx
Hey @louise1996 so sorry you find yourself here but welcome to the group. You will find the most support and advice here from so many lovely ladies who have walked this path before us and who are still enjoying a fabulous fun filled life 20 plus years on you might have already spoke to @foxgem who has been a massive support for me whilst gong through it herself and @holliet91 is the same age as me also with 2 young children, you really aren’t alone
You are in the hardest stage of waiting and not being sure what’s next but I promise you it gets easier as time goes on. We’re very similar, I’m 34 with 2 young children so I know exactly how it feels. For me the worst stage of diagnosis was the 1st 2 weeks after being diagnosed, I cried on and off, felt like it was literally the end and just felt like I had a dark cloud following me round but once the shock subsided I just had to get on with things.
I decided not to tell many people so I didn’t have to constantly talk about it (especially the school Mums you know what they’re like ) I only initially told my Mum, mother in law and husband. I knew I would need support off them looking after the kids for all of the appointments. I have recently told a friend as she was diagnosed a few weeks ago!
I know it doesn’t feel like it now but you’re life will feel normal again, even a week from now you will feel different and you will get through all this. We’ve got so much to fight for having young children. I found in the early days keeping myself busy and distracted helped alot!
I was diagnosed on 30th Oct 25 with a 13mm idc, hormone positive, her2 negative, stage 1, no node involvement. Following diagnosis I had an MRI which showed 2 more lumps so I had to have them biopsied (one by mammogram and one by mri) so there was lots of waiting around for results so I filled my days with going out with the kids, going to the gym, started working on a new business literally anything to keep my mind distracted. Luckily they came back benign. So I had my lumpectomy on 16th December and I just had my full treatment plan appointment yesterday and I’ll be starting Chemo in a couple of weeks. My chemo plan was abit delayed as my results came back in the grey area so they asked if I wanted further testing to get a clearer result where they send it off to America. If you already know chemo is the plan I think it’s around 6 weeks after surgery or when you’re fully healed.
If you ever want to chat please feel free to message me
Hi Katie thank you soo much for your detailed reply, I already feel better from reaching out to this community, it’s hard to believe there are so many of us the same age with young children, when I got the diagnosis I felt so incredibly alone and didn’t understand how this could have happened to me. The only people I’d known to have cancer were much older and no one in my family has had cancer. I’ve only told my husband, brother and two best friends. I don’t want people to look at me differently but I guess it can’t be helped. How did you prepare for surgery? Was there a lot of recovery post surgery? I’m trying to re programme my brain for what cancer means and is right now, it’s a hard task but I’m getting there. It feels like my life will need to go on pause which is hard but I’m going to try and find joy in the small things between appointment’s. How are you preparing for Chemo? Thank you
I know that alone feeling all too well, no matter how much people tried to make me feel better they just couldn’t understand how I was feeling. I think it’s so scary that before this happens to us we all beleive it will never happen to us until it does!
Yeah I think people treat you like you’re ill and I said to the 3 people that I’d told I’ll talk to you about it if and when I need to, I’ll keep you updated on appointments and important info but aside from that let’s just all get on as normal. I didn’t want it to consume everyday and every conversation we had (it did for the 1st week or 2 as its literally all I could think about, I’ll never forget how sad I felt during that time). I think that 1st 2 weeks my life honestly felt like it was on hold like I couldn’t enjoy anything I was just going through the motions but as time goes on you will adjust and find joy again. Over the past 4 months since being diagnosed we’ve had some of the most amazing family days out, spent a lovely Christmas together and I feel like I have a new appreciation of life. I’ve always been a happy go lucky type of person that genuinely LOVES life but thus new found appreciation of the smallest things is crazy! I can honestly say I feel happy again, even with chemo in a couple of weeks.
So I had a lumpectomy nd 2 lymph nodes removed for testing nd it was honestly fine. Was just in for the day and afterwards kept up with pain meds they gave me. It was a little sore and stingy more than anything. The breast lump wasn’t sore at all, a slight ache if anything it was the lymph node area that was worst but absolutely bearable. Ive got a party hire business so I was out at work 4 days post surgery but under strict instructions to do no heavy lifting. Do you have some support for your 3 year old as you won’t be able to lift him for a few weeks? My 2 year old was quite clingy so forever being picked up
Pre surgery I just focused on getting as healthy as possible walking, strength training and eating clean. Pretty much the same with chemo but with alot of focus on hair and skin nutrient rich foods too in the hope I can save some hair I’ve been doing weekly yoga too for some calm mindfulness!
I think between appointments just distract yourself with loads of fun things, whatever you enjoy doing or will make you feel better. I would just kind of lock my thoughts away and let myself worry about them later and then I’d distract myself so much forget about them (I know that probably feels impossible now but as time goes on it really does get abit easier). Speak with your BCN too as they tend to offer lots of support. I’ve had a counselling assessment to talk through my worries and complimentary therapies are offered at my hospital too I’ve had reiki and massage so far. Xx
but at least now it’s going for the oncotype test I should have a definitive answer that will be analyzed properly not just based on opinion. I think that’s something that has been bothering me although I had come round to the idea it was all just feeling like lets just go for it because she’s young (which wasnt actially the case), they had a really rushed MDT meeting and apparently had 53 results to get through because of the christmas backlog so when they ran it through the predict tool at yhe meeting it came up with a benefit of 6% but before our call he luckily ran it through again and it said 4.6% so he said it must of been a small error on the one at the MDT but I’m very glad it was run through again!!!
I’ll ask about the chicken pox vaccine as mine haven’t had them yet! I’ll tag you in the positive stories thread! A lady described it as a spa day and I’m fully sold on it 
So happy for you!
you might have already spoke to 
) I only initially told my Mum, mother in law and husband. I knew I would need support off them looking after the kids for all of the appointments. I have recently told a friend as she was diagnosed a few weeks ago!
literally anything to keep my mind distracted. Luckily they came back benign. So I had my lumpectomy on 16th December and I just had my full treatment plan appointment yesterday and I’ll be starting Chemo in a couple of weeks. My chemo plan was abit delayed as my results came back in the grey area so they asked if I wanted further testing to get a clearer result where they send it off to America. If you already know chemo is the plan I think it’s around 6 weeks after surgery or when you’re fully healed.
I’ve been doing weekly yoga too for some calm mindfulness!