Diagnosed yesterday and getting my head round it

Hi. I got diagnosed yesterday and was quite calm at the time. Sent home with dates, information overload and a wallet of books to read. Started to read them this morning and everything suddenly started to seem real. Don’t want to burden family and friends as I don’t know anyone in the same position as me. Luckily I didn’t wimp out of my mammogram and it has been picked up early so I am hoping that I have the lump removed and that’s that. I know life doesn’t always go in the direction you want it to but here’s hoping!

There are some lovely strong ladies on here who have a been where you are today xx everyone is really supportive when you need to let of steam or just try to understand your feelings x please don’t Google or go on threads not relevant to you as it stress you right out, I know I did which was a mistake x hope you are feeling a little better now x take care

I read the wodge of stuff, felt scared and wrapped it all back up and put it away.  I look at it now and again.


it is really scary now, in limbo land and this bit is not nice.  I drip fed to friends, colleagues and that worked for me.  In a way I find it more scary people telling me that I’m brave or so strong, etc, etc.  It makes it all seem so daunting.  In reality, we’ve been caught early.  Yes, treatment isn’t nice or a walk in the park but we will recover, live, get better.  for the majority of us, the diagnosis is not the catastrophe that it once was for our forbears but that legacy lives on and when people hear the C word then the worst is assumed.  However, don’t make the mistake I did with work by minimising everything.  I think my senior manager thought I was going in for the equivalent of an ingrowing toenail op!


Do not google or go on other parts of conversations that don’t relate to your situation.  You will scare yourself silly.


You will suddenly develop all sorts of aches and pains - the mind plays tricks.  


my worst thing was telling my mum but she was ok although I know she is worried.  You can get people you trust to tell others if you want to distance yourself from hand wringing.


look after yourself.  This is the time to do what you need.  We automatically start thinking about other people.  Actually, they need to look after you.


I’m seven weeks on from noticing something.  Have had somebiopsies under mammogram (so far the worst thing), a lumpectomy and sentinal lymph node removal.   Under arm more problematic than boob. Tomorrow evening will be two weeks on.  I’m doing a short drive and been out by myself this morning.  Listen to your body and do what it tells you.


all the best.  The ladies on here are amazing.



Thank you for your kind words. My worst task by far was telling my mum. She seemed to take it ok but I know what she is like and she is probably worse than me at this stage. Having said that, the reality is really sinking in. I am terrified! I am a very calm, matter of fact, independant person and feel all that is changing. I am hoping the feeling wont last.

Hi Sam

yes it is a bit of a process and I found I was pretty calm initially - felt quite detached - but had a moment a day or so later when I realised it was actually real and it felt surreal.  The info overload is difficult at first - I went home with a huge file of stuff similar to becoming a student again- but you will be surprised how soon you become an “expert” on your condition. Do you know what your treatment plan is yet? You will find this Forum a mine of information and support. I think it is hard for family and friends to completely understand what it is like when you get a diagnosis of cancer, but the folk on here get it 'cos they’ve been there. At the same time I was surprised at the unexpected support I had from the most unkiely sources, so you may want to tell people in a way and at a time that works for you. XXXXXXX



Hello and welcome to this lovelyclub of ladies who will be able to help and support you through your journey.


You sound positive which is great and will help you a lot as you go forward.  I must admit I nearly didnt go to my routine mammo last August I was too busy, phew I am glad I did, mine was caught early, very successfully treated and I am back my “normal” like again, although this does change your perspective a lot, but I can only say for me it has been for the better.


I would suggest that you do not try to read everything all at once.  I left my stuff for a few days, the care plan set out all i needed know for the time being, I just dipped in and out as I felt I needed to understand some element a bit more.


You will be amazed when, if, you start telling people, how many will let you know that they have been through the same or know someone has had it.


We are all here to help and support you so never worry about coming on here to ask questions, rant, rave or whatever, there will always be someone who will be able to help.


Helena xxx

Blimey, how stupid do I feel. You ladies seem so clued up about what sort of cancer and I have realised all I took in is that I have breast cancer and have to have an operation to have it removed with some lymph nodes. I guess I turned off then!

Yeah I felt like a BC novice too! I felt like I didn’t know ow what the hell was going on, all these words I hadn’t heard of, I didn’t even know how many types of BC there was till it happened to me, I just keep thinking I’m so pleased I had a feel around that night in the bath, the whole process has been so fast, I was only at docs 7 weeks ago and have been checked given results had my seed implant and surgery tomorrow my work have been fab told me to take as long as I need to as for telling family my kids still don’t know, made a very agonising decision to till this sat as my son has been doing exams for uni and daughter was only 14 weeks pregnant when I had biopsy I didn’t want to tell one without the other, so my emotions have been in overdrive! Sam you will get there hun, it’s a lot to take in in a very short time x keep telling yourself you’re now being made better by the team looking after you x

The few people I told initially all said ‘do you want me to come with you?’ and I said no to all. Probably silly but I kept thinking, it’s all good, no problems, can’t be anything bad, not to me. WRONG! However, I am positive, mostly. It’s caught early, treatment is quick, team seem fantastic and you ladies are all lifting my spirits on this horrible day. Thank you so much.

Thanks Helena much appreciated x pleased you’re feeling a little better Sam


  I am only 1 week ahead of you. i am still feeling very detached from what is going on despite having 2 rounds of biopsies, MRI scan, results and discussion about the surgery. it’s been quite a week all in all. 

I have found it very useful to take a friend along to any appointments where I was getting results/ discussing surgery as they took notes on a pad and paper for me. I ve also phoned my breast care nurse a couple of times when I was unclear on something. It is a bit like being thrown into a whole new world where everyone speaks another language, that you have to learn asap.

  Im keeping busy getting stuff done before my surgery which is on June 1st. I think it’ll hit me then as my normal life will be interrupted. I ve got through by just dealing with one appointment at a time. i ve chosen to tell friends in preparation for when i will need their help to entertain my son but I am dreading telling my parents on Friday when they return from their holiday. 

take care everyone,



Hi Sam,
Do look after yourself & ask for what you need from others. I remember the shock of diagnosis, followed by a blizzard of hospital appointments which all felt quite surreal at the time.
My husband came with me to all my appointments & he was great in asking things I hadn’t thought of, as well as giving me support, so dont write off having someone with you, especially for treatment plan & results appointments. It can & does help.
take care
ann x

I am in the same boat Sam. Diagnosed on 15th May. Found a lump. Mammogram, USSc and biopsy- cancer. Caught early. Waiting for a date for lumpectomy. It all seems very surreal. The waiting for the results after they “found something” was the worst! Now there is a plan it seems “ok”. Telling family and friends seems surreal as I feel ok. Some have been more distressed than me and have found some reactions uncomfortable as I feel fine and like some say “a fraud”. Still getting my head round it all. ??

I found a lump in March, went to the doctor, who found another lump! Got my appointment for mammogram, ultrasound and biopsy. Had to have op on 24th April as it was cancer. Checked for lymph nodes…ok with everything up until results from Path came back…appointment yesterday to say not clear margins on one of the lumps and now I am worried. I am a very independent woman and find it really hard to accept help. My husband does what he can but works very long hours and mostly afternoon/evenings so am left on my own a lot of the time. I now have to go in for another op on Monday but what if they still don’t catch it all. I am much more worried than my first op…

Hi Sam. Firstly “welcome”. I am a few weeks ahead of you, and due to go for mastectomy on 24th. My head was in a total spin for the first couple of weeks after being told (still are a bit, as I won’t know a treatment plan until after the op and all results are in). My advice to you is to take your time to get your head around things, and try not to take all information in all at once, as it can really “blow” your mind. Tell people who you wish to know, in your own time, in your own way, that is comfortable to you. Allow yourself to have “I feel sorry for myself time”, and don’t feel guilty about that. Accept any help that is offered (whether you need it or not), as sometimes, this can be a way for those who care about you to cope with their feelings. I am still apprehensive about what is happening to me, but honestly, you are still a bit “goshed” with everything. Stay as positive as you possibly can, and be thankful, as I am, that we are all part of a very supportive, and “elite” group xxx

I am taking inspiration from you lovely ladies. I have had a good day today out with my mum and friend. Speaking openly about our feelings without getting upset. Mum told me that her and her sister both broke down when she told her. I didn’t expect that, not sure why as I am the only daughter/niece. Not told too many people so far and most has been the cowards way out, by email. That way, I don’t have to see the pity in their face. That probably sounds callous, but to see sympathy will make me a jibbering wreck and I am trying my hardest to keep it together. I have got a day out with my old school chums on Saturday and I really want to tell them in person but I know that is going to be the hardest chat so far.